To take away dd(13)s en-suite?

[thatsfunnybecause]

Dd(13) has bedroom with an ensuite, 3 year old is at the moment in a tiny room that basically just fits a bed and wardrobe.

We want to combine dd’s en-suite and DH’s office to make decent size bedroom for 3 year old.

Up until dd(13) was 11 and we moved to a bigger house she always had to share with either younger brother or older step sister.

She thinks as she had to share until she was 11, that younger siblings should share until then or be lucky and get tiny room of their own. And that by the time toddler is that age she will move out and she can have her room.

Is it unreasonable to take away her en-suite?

Does this mean there's no family bathroom? Will everyone need to come to the bathroom attached to your room for a wash?

That would impact the decision much more than whether the 13 year old should have their own.

Can you just use the office to make the bedroom bigger?

You might be unwise to lose an en suite for sale purposes, personally I am not a fan

You are unwise to enter into negotiations with a child about the layout of the house

The 3 year old wont stay 3 for long (of course)

3 year old dd does not really use the bedroom yet but will hopefully start to in next couple of years. There is a playroom downstairs but want her to have room for toys and to play in her room too, the same as her siblings do.

My 14 year old DD would love an en suite, especially now she's dealing with periods. Instead she has to share with her brother. I'd let her have her own bathroom if that was an option.

This. Absolutely this.

When did parents have to justify accommodation decisions to children? She'll get over it. She'll cope.

My friends have the mantra "Be the parents, not the friends..."

She can have two rooms to play in instead.

Peak MN of course

MC angst about a child 'losing an ensuite' and space needed for umpteen play dens and 'privacy'.

Absolutely 💯!

So currently…

The 3 year old has a playroom and a bedroom.

The stepdaughter has a bedroom and a separate toilet and sink.

You/your DH have a bedroom, an en-suite and an office.

Your DD who has until very recent always had to share with a sibling or step sibling, finally has her own bedroom and now you want to take her en-suite away?

How big is the office compared to the existing bedroom? I would be very wary about loosing the en suite in case you want to sell, nothing to do with teenagers and bathrooms. Is there a full sized family bathroom on the same floor accessible from the landing? That makes a difference too. Would it be possible to put a shower into the upper level and swop the girls (unless stepsister is 50/50 or more

There is a family bathroom both upstairs and downstairs, both are a bit rubbish and only have showers though. We will be doing them both up and add baths.

This.

I think the issue is that she currently has it and you plan to take it away. At 13 she probably will use the ensuite and as others have said, you could be lowering the value of your home. Your younger child has a play room elsewhere so does not need a bigger bedroom at this age. Normally I'm a 'be the parent not a mate' but I actually sympathise with your daughter.

My bedroom until the age of 11 was the box room - single bed and a wardrobe! We had a lower extension, to the back of the house, that was my playroom. We moved then, and I had a much bigger bedroom then. Couldn't your 3 year old keep the current bedroom and use the office as a playroom?

I wouldn’t personally, she’s a teen and that’s her space. To be pushed out of the way for a sibling is unpleasant, especially at that age where she needs it more.

Could you give your DD the stepdaughter room, and then let stepdaughter move into the room losing the ensuite?

PPs have a point that you might be reducing the value of the property if you remove a bathroom. Also, it’s better for sleep hygiene not to have toys (or work stuff) in a bedroom, so is it really an issue for the toddler to have a bigger bedroom if you have a playroom? They can always bring toys to their bedroom during if they want.

Maybe there is a better solution if you tell us the rooms you have and your DC’s ages.

I feel like we need a floor plan of your house.

You put it much better than I did.

I think she's got a heck of a good point. She's shared most of her life. Now there's yet another sibling she's looking at getting ousted for.

Turn the box room into the office and the office into toddler bedroom. Toddlers don't need or care about privacy, they'll be with you or dad most of the time. Teens do need privacy.

If your housing is anything like here, taking out a bathroom will decrease the home value.

This. Let her keep her bathroom - or she's going to feel really, really pushed out.

The playroom is just a family room downstairs for all the kids, not just the 3 year olds.

step daughter and younger brothers have also had to share at times

This! You would be so unreasonable to take it away from her- is your DD not your husbands biological child?

The playroom is just a family room downstairs for all the kids, not just the 3 year olds.

So the 3yo can have her bedroom plus the office.
Step-DD can have her own bedroom plus toilet/sink.
And leave DD with her own room and en-suite.

Sounds more than fair to me.