To take away dd(13)s en-suite?

[thatsfunnybecause]

Dd(13) has bedroom with an ensuite, 3 year old is at the moment in a tiny room that basically just fits a bed and wardrobe.

We want to combine dd’s en-suite and DH’s office to make decent size bedroom for 3 year old.

Up until dd(13) was 11 and we moved to a bigger house she always had to share with either younger brother or older step sister.

She thinks as she had to share until she was 11, that younger siblings should share until then or be lucky and get tiny room of their own. And that by the time toddler is that age she will move out and she can have her room.

Is it unreasonable to take away her en-suite?

Just leave it how it is

How much will it cost to have the en-suite removed? How much value will your home decrease by, with one fewer bathroom. Add those two figures together, then assess whether it’s just worth waiting 5 years until DD moves out.

It’s not her option to negotiate—it is the mortgage payer’s decision.

I was going to say the same.
It sounds like there are a lot of bathrooms!

I would leave it with teenager. More bathrooms = less arguments!

Overrun with bathrooms

Honestly since when do kids need their own bathrooms?

we have one family bathroom and downstairs loo. Two daughters. My eldest has the smallest room, she has literally a bed, baby sized wardrobe and a chest of drawers. She manages just fine (playroom downstairs).

so I can see both sides - one the teenager does not need a bathroom to herself and also the toddler will be fine in a box room (provided there are alternative spaces for toys)

your DD is wrong though. She can’t guarantee she’ll be moving out at any age!

First world problems!

If the office and box room are similar size I can’t imagine the addition of the floor space of an en-suite is going to significantly add to the room (unless the en-suite is huge). I just can’t see that it would be worth the hassle and upset.

Agree a floorplan is needed!

we are in same situation

my son is in biggest bedroom

sd - in room with en-suite

toddler is in box room

plan a is to move rooms around when sd goes to uni - she will then have box room and always have a room at ours

my son prob move into en-suite until he moves out

youngest child then into biggest room when she's 7-8

or we are looking into making loft into a bedroom. There is room to stand up in there so it can be done .

Can you post floor plans of your house so that we can help with suggestions? @thatsfunnybecause

Yanbu. Teens do not need their own en-suite, in fact its better if they learn to share & not feel entitled to the best of everything.

You get adult privileges when you are an adult and earning the money to pay for them.

No it won't "massively reduce the value of your house". The square footage is the same and if you create a decent size bedroom instead of a box that will offset. Plus you are refurbing other bathrooms.

It's exactly what I would do.

Completely agree

13 is a bad time to take away an en suite for a girl. 3yr old can have their small bedroom plus office for toys and playing.

I would let her keep it.
If she never had it she wouldn't miss it, obviously teenagers don't 'need' their own bathroom but I think it's a shit trick to give them one only to take it away for a younger sibling.

This 👏

There are currently 6 bathrooms in the house, 5 should be more than enough once we do the other ones up.

YABU. This is likely something she really values, and it sounds like she’s had to deal with a lot of change in her life.

Middle-school-age is not the time to be taking an en suite away from a girl — and, in particular, this girl, who, from the sounds of it, has had to share with somebody for most of her life.

lol at all the drama about 13 being such a terrible age to take away a girl’s en suite 🙄However would she have coped growing up in the 70s when houses had a family bathroom and a downstairs loo if you were lucky 😂 And yet we all managed to navigate having periods…

I appreciate the change and sharing she has had to deal with but she wasn’t the only one.

Older sister and both younger brothers also have shared and dealt with the same changes.

Yes, just do what suits the family's needs. She'll be fine. It sounds as if you have plenty of bathrooms.

Then move her to another bedroom with an en suite.
Voila - problem solved.
Are you the mum or the stepmum out of curiosity.

Why ask if you've already made your mind up?

But you asked MN about her. This is something she has, now, and that she likely values a lot. She’s only thirteen so it’s not her job to consider what the other kids have had to deal with. She’s only experienced how the changes have unsettled her. And she’s going through early adolescence. I don’t understand why you’re so eager to take it away from her, tbh.

Your house has 6 bathrooms?