To take away dd(13)s en-suite?

[thatsfunnybecause]

Dd(13) has bedroom with an ensuite, 3 year old is at the moment in a tiny room that basically just fits a bed and wardrobe.

We want to combine dd’s en-suite and DH’s office to make decent size bedroom for 3 year old.

Up until dd(13) was 11 and we moved to a bigger house she always had to share with either younger brother or older step sister.

She thinks as she had to share until she was 11, that younger siblings should share until then or be lucky and get tiny room of their own. And that by the time toddler is that age she will move out and she can have her room.

Is it unreasonable to take away her en-suite?

Oh my god! Please say it's two.....🙏

Nobody. I would assume it is a house that has had multiple extensions and a loft conversation at different times so they don’t work together or a big old 5/6 bedroom Victorian or Georgian house built long before en suites existed. It has probably had rooms carved up to add the en suites and loft staircase or access to an extension, maybe a servant’s back staircase removed to make an extra box room.

I have never had an ensuite bathroom and have managed to have periods my whole life without it being a problem. You just... shut the door. I've never even had to lock it. If the bathroom door is shut, someone is in there. However, there has always been a lock on the door. I genuinely don't understand why teenage girls need their own bathroom to have a period in. When I was young I would bleed through tampons and pads through to the mattress - my periods were horrific. I never once felt like not having an en-suite made it worse. And I know that just because I was OK, doesn't mean everyone else is, but seriously... are we seriously saying here that an en-suite bathroom is now essential to a teenage girls' healthy development? Because that sounds like madness to me....

Why do posters keep saying the house has got six bathrooms? The op has already clarified that she used the term bathroom incorrectly;

I called them all bathrooms but realise I used the term bathroom incorrectly.
2 family bathrooms (up and down)
2 en-suites
2 loos (downstairs and attic)

Also, the op says; 'the two family bathrooms are both a bit rubbish and only have showers'.

@thatsfunnybecause

What does 'a bit rubbish' actually mean? Are all of the showers in working condition? Which bathroom/shower room does the eldest dd currently use? What is the timescale for refurbishment?

The house doesn't have 6 bathrooms!

The enormity of those two boys' deprived existence, having to endure living without their own en-suites, it just hits me . The poor lads. Going to take them years to come to terms with it. If you want I could take their case to the United Nations. Friends in high places you know.

Meanwhile, tell them to stay strong and remember the immortal words of our great philosopher, almost on a par, if not more wise than Plato, yes it's our very own Gabrielle :

• Dreams can come true, you know you've got to have hope, you know you gotta be strong. La la la la la la or something.

Keep the faith 💪

😥so sad.
Also, I hear that several of the OP's bathrooms are "rubbish" 😭

My take on this (I have a 3 year old with a small bedroom) is that a 3 year old doesn't need a wardrobe. Their clothes are small, and would fit in some drawers, or perhaps underbed drawers, and removing the wardrobe would free up a little space for toy storage or a little lego/drawing table or similar. Then once they start school they'll probably have even fewer clothes for a few years as they will mostly be wearing school uniforms. So aside from any questions about whether teenagers need en suites, I'd probably start by reconfiguring the 3-year-old's furniture because it would be by far the cheapest option! And by the time you need to revisit this, maybe at least one child will have left home.

To be fair, I was referring to 'a family of seven sharing one bathroom off the kitchen'. I don't know why you think this set-up would be seen as a badge of honour in today's society.

How do you think I feel, I live with the guilt every day? I don’t even think the UN could undo the damage I’ve done. It’s so bad for my eldest son that he recently bought his first house and it has NO EN-SUITES!! He’s carrying on this terrible chain and hopes to have his first child soon, whose life will also be ruined, it’s a sickness in our genes, and there’s no cure 🙁

@Liz1tummypain @Cathandkin Do you want to explain satire or shall I? 😂

No, I didn't - I was quite clearly replying to the poster who said 'millions' of families live in adequate homes with 7 people sharing one bathroom/toilet off the kitchen. You only have 2 children in any case. Why didn't you foster 3 more children if your bathroom was underused?

No point asking Cathandkin - she thought I was being serious yesterday when I asked her why she stopped at 3 children.

From what the OP has said, it looks like the stepdaughter is indeed there almost all of the time (OP said about 95% and that their home is also the stepdaughter's home.) So she doesn't jump between two houses; for whatever reason, it looks like she doesn't see much of her other parent.

@LadyBracknellsHandbagg sorry if I'm being a bit dozy but did you just say one of your sons has bought a house WITH NO ENSUITES? I mean how does one do such a thing? Please be serious.

You may as well tell me they've bought a house without a hobby room ! I mean please tell me they have somewhere to accommodate his good lady friend's social acquaintances when they come over for the book club, for wine and nibbles? Please tell me they haven't overlooked this facility which is vital in all decent residential properties in this day and age.

I told you, it’s in our genes, it’s passed down from generation to generation, there’s no escaping it!
His wife is forced to meet her friends away from the house, because although she loves him she’s embarrassed by our family affliction!
I am trying to address this through therapy, and I recently forced my husband to agree to buy a house with an en-suite for us, but it’s been hard as my sons’ refused to visit or acknowledge the en-suite, such is their trauma.

That also makes more sense 😀

tho wonder why op bought this house 2yrs ago when she knew had to room 5 kids as 3yr was born then tho a baby /toddler

surely looking round it and only having 4 good size rooms and 2 small box room for 5 kids - surely shouldn’t have been bought

7 including parents room so 5 big for 6 rooms needed (5 kids and parents)

FFS she is 13. Do it, she will get over it!

So does the 13yr en suite have a bath

or the parents en suite

or is there no baths in the house

I love a wallow

as really

2 bathroom minus bath with showers
2 en-suite
2 loos - attic and downstairs

so 6 loos going to 5 which is really 4 as sure parents don’t want their loo uses all the time

Perhaps, like most of us, they don't have a bottomless pot of cash to spend on mutiple-bedroomed houses. The house is big enough. It just needs some alterations to suit their family's needs. 🙄

The 3 year old won’t be a 3 year old ever. A 7 or 8 year old needs more space than this and the older child might not even move out at 18. They’ll very possibly stay at home for another 8 or 9 years.
it really isn’t the older child’s call

Oh my god. How do they manage 😱?

She did. That's because she was remembering the strange claim that my childhood home - and millions of others, were "slums". 🙄

Don't forget to include the word "slum"....

A voice of reason!