To take away dd(13)s en-suite?

[thatsfunnybecause]

Dd(13) has bedroom with an ensuite, 3 year old is at the moment in a tiny room that basically just fits a bed and wardrobe.

We want to combine dd’s en-suite and DH’s office to make decent size bedroom for 3 year old.

Up until dd(13) was 11 and we moved to a bigger house she always had to share with either younger brother or older step sister.

She thinks as she had to share until she was 11, that younger siblings should share until then or be lucky and get tiny room of their own. And that by the time toddler is that age she will move out and she can have her room.

Is it unreasonable to take away her en-suite?

The 3 year old isn't getting an ensuite. He'd get a bedroom that can fit more than just his bed and a wardrobe.

I think this could be a winning idea, give her something too

Totally sensible.
she has the biggest, best bedroom after the master already and will not be losing it.

My attitude is if she in ungrateful for having the biggest bedroom without the en-suite, I would give her a smaller one and next oldest child can have it!

Favouring one child to have an en suite when the other children do not is unfair.

if she does not like it, at 18 she has every right to move out and rent her own en-suite room.

That sounds like a great idea Op, especially the separate ‘family’ bathrooms for boys and girls. That way issues of embarrassment around period products, or just wanting a nicer space that doesn’t smell bad, are easily addressed! An upgrade to her bedroom to soften the blow, and the only child with their own loo and sink is the eldest. Depending on how you remodel, is there scope for any of the other bedrooms to have a private loo and sink too? Thinking about when they are all older and boomeranging home to save money..

Sorry I misunderstood, but I still don’t understand why she had to share with younger siblings and now you don’t want them too!

OP given that the bathroom facilities are plumbed in already, would it be feasible to create a small jack-and-jill bathroom between toddler's new room and daughter's existing room? (Not sure if that term is an Americanism but it's a bathroom with doors either side into two other rooms if that's not clear.) Or maybe create a vanity unit in DD's bedroom so she at least has somewhere she can get washed in the morning and leave her own toiletries there undisturbed? That way you keep the value to the house of the other bathroom and create a bathroom that two girls can access.

Well presumably they didnt have enough rooms, and now they do. So why should the boys share just so she can keep her ensuite? That is even less fair than her having the ensuite in the first place. People are talking about upsetting the DD, how on earth do you think the boys are going to feel if they have to share?!

Because we lived in a smaller house.
We now live in a house that is big enough for them to have there own rooms and nobody needs to share.
My youngest boy has medical issues that means sharing wouldn't be great (for the sibling he’s sharing with) over wise I would consider having two littlest or two boys together because I do actually think it’s nice and can be beneficial for little kids to share with siblings.

Do any of the houses on your estate have extensions, loft conversions or converted garages? Or do they all look as they did in the 1960s?

Yesterday you claimed that lots of people had TVs in the bathroom - I don't know anyone with a TV in the bathroom.

The office is tiny, the same size as the room todlers in now. The only way to make it a decent size room is to combine it with the entirety of the en-suite.
We will make one family bathroom for the girls and one for the boys + update her dressing table area in her room

If the 3 year has room to sleep in it's bedroom and a play room downstairs I can see why the DD is upset. Also she is probably having to deal with periods as well as step siblings too. Why would the 3 year old need 2 rooms to play in?

Many teenage girls deal with periods in a house with at most 2 toilets …. This house has so many!! Hardly any teenage girls in the UK will have their own en suite.

Because 3 year old grow 🤷‍♀️

Because now they have options which means they dont have to.

Let her have privacy, OP.

I worked out what you meant. See my post at 19.21 @thatsfunnybecause

She doesn’t have any step siblings.

And most teenage girls cope with period without an ensuite!

The downstairs playroom isn’t just for the 3 year old either. Read the OPs posts.

The 3 year old is the youngest though. When he has grown out of needing a play room, the play room can be his bedroom, and his boxroom can be an XBox room. But it's going to be years before he is in the 'living in his bedroom' era. My son started at about 10.

Just a thought, don’t think it’s been mentioned yet.
you say DD 13 has ‘a bigger room’ how big is the room..? Would it be big enough to put a shower/loo/sink room in one corner if the en-suite comes out?

ha ha I can tell most people here don’t live in Victorian houses. Very difficult to retrofit en suites in at all and most only have one bath room unless you have converted the attic where you might squeeze in another. Our family all share the one small bathroom. We manage just fine!

2 adults and 1 teen sharing one bathroom in our house. No en-suites anywhere. We are scraping by... ;-)

Sympathies. Hope you can all get over the distress and trauma and move forward with your lives.

Apologies if this has been suggested already but would it be possible to use some of your daughter’s bedroom to make a bigger room for your three year old, instead of the en-suite?

Two teenage girls and two adults sharing one bathroom.

The poor girls must be traumatised not having their own bathroom each.

Thank you. Some days are harder than others. On a good day, the 3 steps from my bedroom door to the bathroom feels like no distance at all.

On a bad day, putting a dressing gown on and walking through to smell someone else's shit just feels... inhuman. No should have to live like this. My grandad didn't fight in 2 World Wars* for me to brush my teeth in a sink that someone else has also brushed their teeth in that morning. Sharing plugholes... It's difficult, you know? But we put on a brave face, and we persevere.

*He literally didn't.