To not expect to owe her £110 for ice cream?

[ForTidyShaker]

I have a receipt from her so it is the true cost.

My daughter is 6 and attended a friend’s birthday party. She was ecstatic to be going. It was at a soft play with someone doing princess make over hair and make up (face paint, all very sweet and harmless). Lovely time.

They had food. And then they were suppose to have cake. I’ve actually seen it in Waitrose, it’s a lovely cake but didn’t cost hundreds.

Anyway, the parents stayed. My son, had respite with his carer for the morning and I was meeting the carer in the car park for hand over after the party.

The party was running a bit late, and there was no sign of his carer. I rang and no answer. He’s had him a while so I wasn’t overly worried.

I went for a quick trip to the loo and was literally only 2 minutes max - I came back into the party room and DS was there with his carer looking for me - And he let go of his hand. DS ran straight for the cake and dug his hands in, eating it.

The other mums were giggling, birthday girl crying. My own DD crying. I was mortified and intervened straight away. But the damage was done.

I apologised over and over whilst handing a very upset, confused and overstimulated child. And told DD we have to go. Before leaving, I gave DS to his carer and ran over, telling the birthday girl’s mum I’d cover the cost. She did a weak smile and then said see you soon

DD was beside herself and had a really awful time of it. I paid the price, believe me.

Anyway, the birthday girl’s mum messaged me today with a bill for £109.59!

’Please see attached the receipt for the replacement desserts. Some children had more expensive things so it was quite costly. Sorry. Hope you are okay Anna’

AIBU not to pay almost £110?! The cake was a standard celebration cake I’ve seen before in the shops 😞 Would you just pay?

Thankfully, DD knows her from an activity and not school so no awkward school run trips.

Yes, it's tricky, but I do think you should cover the cost. The hostess had to buy replacement desserts because of what happened with the birthday cake. I can understand your reaction though.

I don’t think the party mum did anything wrong, and that it was right and correct that you paid.

Parties are a big deal for kids, with the ‘cake moment’ especially being something looked forward to and enjoyed. That was ruined by your son, a child that wasn’t even invited, and the mother had to quickly try to salvage the situation.

Having empathy for your circumstances does not mean she should be expected to suck up being out of pocket.

Then why were you doing handover at another child’s birthday party? Expensive lesson learned!

There's a big difference here, which is that these were children and not adults. It's entirely predictable that the birthday child would be upset by her cake being ruined and the adults acted reasonably in fixing the problem as quickly as possible by buying alternative desserts. It's unfortunate for the OP but I think she has to pay the full replacement cost.

Bill for something entirely unreasonable. What soft play centre is offering a child’s dessert at over a tenner?!

9 girls with a £4 icecream would have be en appropriate. This woman was pissed off and was on one.

This woman is taking the piss and it feels vindictive to me.

No wonder we are raising such a generation of snowflakes - I honestly despair!

How are these kids going to cope when they're older with real problems if they have a meltdown and declare their expensive party ruined over a broken cake?

It's hilarious!

This is a non sequitur. Adults fixing the problem - fine. Sending the bill to a guest - appalling.

The party organiser doesn’t owe OP any favours

Eh?

Here there are two types of room hire.

1. Hire party room and pay for the venue's catering.
2. Hire party room and do your own catering.

I live in East London/Essex and I'm pretty sure that's standard in most of the soft play centers 😳

How on earth was she a bitch? Her child's party cake was suddenly destroyed by an unexpected child turning up, so she had to find a very quick solution in very restricted circumstances.

She did the best she could to salvage the joy that the cake was going to bring to her DD and her invited friends; then she was reticent and sympathetic when she told OP how much she owed - it was hardly like she sneered "Suck it up, buttercup!" with a triumphant smirk.

If she was struggling for money and paid £110 for ice cream, having given kids free choice of the menu, she’s very silly.

If this was me I would laugh it off and not spend over £100 on deserts . I certainly would not ask someone with a disabled child to cover that cost . Do you know why ? Because I know how much they are already going through and how hard it is to even take siblings to parties at times .
I can almost imagine the sort of nasty mum who would send this message asking for money , it’s the ones so despise at the school gates the last 20 years .

You would - rightly so as you're an adult. But this is a six year old child we're talking about.

Mmm, but it's better to say, "OK, who wants a chocolate ice cream and who wants a strawberry one?" than "apologetically" say, "Here's the bill for nine five-scoop knickerbocker glories with double whipped cream and unicorn dust sprinkles because we told the kids they could order whatever they wanted."

Err what….?
I literally said that it’s so hard having a disabled sibling (which I know from experience), she shouldn’t make her non-disabled child suffer too. Literally the opposite!

Its all very well saying all that in retrospect, with no idea what was actually possible. But in the heat of the moment and with lots of upset children, quick decisions were taken.

Are you always this dramatic? "Lots of upset children" - Jesus wept 🤣🤣🤣

Lovely

Suggest she takes them to the Ivy for dessert next time, OP. Their most expensive children's dessert is £12 and the kids will get something really nice. Seems like good value compared to this soft play 🤔.

What desserts were purchased at over a tenner each? Is the bill actually itemised? Have you looked at the menu? I’d be ringing the place

Sending the bill to the guest is OK,especially as itcwas her son that destroyed the cake.
I bet the op will be more careful now.

Did you write this satirically? If so, it is brilliantly hilarious!

I really hate to think anyone IRL could really be this dramatic 😂😂😂

A whole room of parents saw a devastated birthday child

A 6 year old is hardly going to laugh off her ruined birthday cake, which is a big part of a typical birthday party.

I am intrigued about this too. I only paid £12 for a dessert in a Michellin starred restaurant last weekend.

£110 is outrageous, the mum was angry and taking advantage. Unless it was a very rural soft play someone should have done a run out for another supermarket cake.

I can't believe a slice of cake each at a soft play would cost £110, even assuming London soft play prices. The mum should have either replaced with another cake or just bought £5 puddings for the kids.

The lack of empathy on this is massive. What could OP do but leave? If she stayed to try and fix it her son would still be there. Yes it's sad to have your birthday cake ruined at 6, but honestly I feel most sorry for OP's daughter in this.

You did the right thing paying, I would have paid too in your position.

However, if I was in the host's position, I would never ever have sent you the bill. A decent person just wouldn't.