Would you resent me if I was your employee or colleague ?

[Jimisnotmyname]

DC is seriously ill and inpatient in hospital. Expected to be in for several months. I have been asked by the hospital to be on side to help with various aspects of their care. In theory, I could take my notebook in and work from the ward (and do some catch up at night from home) but I am not coping. I am falling apart and not coping with anything. Would I be unreasonable to take sick leave? We get 6 months on full pay. I have been with my employer for over a decade and only was once off sick for a month (after major surgery). It would mean my colleague's holiday will have to be cancelled and I would let a lot of people down in my department and I feel hugely guilty about that. But I don't know what else to do. I know the decent thing would be to resign but I need the sick pay to cover bills. Please be honest.

yabu - suck it up and carry on working or resign.
yanbu - get signed off

Completely agree with you.

OP, the guilt you feel about your colleagues holiday time is 'false guilt'.
I've had a lot of false guilt in my life and I understand now that if something is totally out of my control and I'm feeling guilty for whatever it is then to let it go.
It's not your fault therefore you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Let your work deal with your colleagues (they're not your responsibility) and you get a sick note for stress and take care of yourself because how can you be 100% for your child if you're not 100% yourself?

You are the most important person in your life. We get one chance at it and you need to be there for your kid.
So what you need to do x

I'm sorry your dc is ill op but honestly, you're throwing your toys out of the pram and making your situation worse.

Seriously, who gives a flying fuck what internet randoms think? There's several posts from 'managers' on here that are so completely incorrect (such as someone banging on about their 'discretionary' decision in this 😂) that they're clearly works of fiction and the person posting has obviously never managed so much as a bloody spoon in their working life.

Your dc is sick. You are burnt out and not well either. So go off sick for a month and look after your baby.

Nothing and no one else matters.

Not only would I not resent you, I’d seriously question whether I should be working somewhere where a person in your circumstances felt too worried about going off sick. It would suggest a seriously worrying workplace culture and I’d feel very uncomfortable about it.

And I say this as someone who has had holiday cancelled and had to pick up slack for so many parent colleagues before, with no reciprocal treatment because childless workers don’t matter where I work. I’d be your prime candidate for resentment but I wouldn’t resent you for one moment.

Please get signed off. You can’t be there to support your child if you’re burned out, and you’ll resent your workplace and probably yourself forever if you don’t prioritise yourself and your family right now.

Take the 6 months leave and get paid , so you can support your child and yourself properly.

Surely your work colleagues would empathise in what's happening with your child, I know I would.

It's also upto your employer to get cover for these situations.

Don't resign, you didn't ask for this to happen it was purvof anyone control, think of you and your daughter .
I hope all goes ok for you x

Out of *

If you had a heart attack etc you would be off.

Your company sounds shit if they can't honour others holiday in such a situation

Would that really happen?

You need to see a doctor explaining your issues around your mental health right now, and do the right thing for your family. That is all that matters.

On your death bed, you will never wish you'd spent more time working when your DS was in hospital.