To feel sad that people are not having children, they would have liked to have

[Tootiredfrthis]

I feel sad that I would love to have a third DC but I don't think I will because of lack of support and not having any extended family who can help.
Similarly, I was speaking to a friend and she almost cried saying how much she would love to is third DC but can't as she's 42 and sky rocketing nursery fees.
Another friend was saying she would love a third but undecided due to no family nearby.
Another male friend was saying he would love a second DC but he has broken up with his girlfriend and was in custody battle for his only DC and don't want to go through it again.
I feel quite sad that there are so many who would love another DC but won't be having them for various reasons while fertility rates keep falling and there's so little support for modern parents/families.

I’m having a third and zero family help. You can do it too if you want OP. I keep telling myself it will just be a season and then school is around the corner

All these people already have kids, why can’t the children they have be enough?

@Waterlilysunset thanks for your reply. I am in trenches of it with a baby and toddler. May be one day I will 🤞

Do you feel sad for people who can’t have children at all, or only for those who can’t have as many as they would like?

YABU

I hope you do!! I have a 1 and 4 yo and baby due in a couple of months.

I’ll let you know how it goes…!! I have 8 weeks of summer holidays with 3 children by myself before eldest starts reception at end of September. Might lose my sanity haha

This is the choice women and families have faced for generations though. My mum had two - because of costs. I've had two - because of costs. My sister has two - because of costs.

I am just incredibly grateful I can have two - many families struggle to afford one child, and could never contemplate more than one. Some people can’t even afford one child at all.

I feel a bit sad about it too, OP.

Me and DH were both the third child of three. We would have liked a third, in an ideal world. We can’t afford it with the cost of living how it is.

We live in a very different world to the one our parents lived in. But I’m very happy with the two children we have, so I focus on that.

So why are you sad for all these joyous people who already have kids? Are they not enough joy, is that the problem?

Maybe that person can't have kids. You might like to consider your words

@Waterlilysunset congratulations and kudos to you ❤️ I hope everything goes well for you as I will be in similar position this year with 1 and 4 yo DC. Another concern is that I had 2 c sections so will need a third.

Are people allowed to make a thread about a specific topic?

Or does every thread have to cover ever possible group of people who could be suffering, like the oppression olympics?

That’s a strange reply. You could flip it to say that yes the other poster does know exactly how much joy children bring to their parents lives which is why many people are happy with the 2 they have as they have already brought so much joy.

I think it's sad that people aren't having families until later. I wanted children in my 20s but honestly, the men around me were more interested in themselves or their careers. Thankfully, just when I'd given up I found my DP. We have 2 DDs. I really wanted a 3rd but with being in my early 40s I struggled to conceive. I'm 10 weeks now and really hoping this one makes it. But I feel sad about the lack of time I will have with my children. Having your children younger means more years with them and with grandchildren.

I wish as a society we were more family orientated.

Oh gosh really similar!!!
So I’ve had 2 emc, will be asking for elective but nothing booked in yet eeek. No one has said anything negative about third c section but I will ask what it means for me and my womb health

I think it’s a valid question in the context of the thread.

Tbh I feel like OP is sad for anyone who longs for a baby (number 1 2 or 3) that they can’t have for whatever reason

@Waterlilysunset third C-section should be fine. Many people have it. I just found the recovery tough second time with a toddler. Hope you find recovery easy with an elective section.

Although my baby is very ill, I'm so glad I had him. He's the love of my whole life 💙

Quantity does not equal quality OP!

Those of us with one or two, also experience joy. In fact extra ones might even reduce the joy, due to increasing not only financial but time pressures. You only have so many hours in the day etc etc

Well it’s not. It’s a thread about people who already have children, who can’t have a second or third for some reason.

There’s a whole section on Mumsnet for childless and childfree topics. You didn’t need to derail this thread.

Baby and toddler together with no help is very tough!! But honestly, when the baby is 3 and off to nursery, go for it if you want another. Time goes in so quickly, they're not young for long 🥹

If you or they have two lovely children or one then appreciate what you have.

@sidsparrownew thank you. I am 35, so will need to decide soon.