DSS pulling out of looking Ddog last minute

[xpectingtoomuch]

DH and I are due to go away this weekend, everything is booked and it's for a special event.
We asked DSS if he would mind looking after Ddog (our family dog, a dog he was very much part of the decision when she joined our family) it's the night before and DSS hadn't arrived as planned, due to course work. AIBU to not understand why he can't come as planned, do his work here? I'm now anxious at leaving tomorrow in case he doesn't bother coming to look after Ddog. I just can't understand the logic, apparently he'll come down tomorrow afternoon once we've gone. But it's just not sitting right with me....

I feel your anxiety op. Not long had dpuppy. Arranged a full long day out.. Arranged with ds to be in for her... He slept out last minute.. . Assured me he'd be back at 9am

9 became 10 and we had left at 8....lunch time and still no confirmation he was home. 2pm. 3pm... Day out ruined for me...
4pm ds rings. Dpuppy hadn't been OK.
Came home late to an absolute sight.. Dpuppy had been mooching the whole house.. 3 storey old town house..
She had found 3 packs of unopened ink cartridges.. 2 in each...
Opened them then danced round every fucking room.
I actually cried.... Ds had attempted to mop the ground floor where we had wood and lino.... Glad the ink was black and not red...
Dc saw me ranting like a crazed witch.. Not my finest moment..
But now dc know why plans need to be kept. And that dm isn't meek and mild...

You are not hard work.
You are beaten down by poof expectations and lazy selfish people around you.

Came home late to an absolute sight.. Dpuppy had been mooching the whole house.. 3 storey old town house..

That could have happened even if he had arrived at 9.

Generally you learn pretty quickly to put stuff out of reach/in a closed room.

Ours learnt to open doors!

Beaten down by what‽

Word ☝️

Tidy up or face potential massive vets bills {ingested items}

My puppy quietly chewed a black Sharpie next to me on the bed- I assumed she was chewing on one of her own toys- black marks ''Permanent ink'' on a white duvet and sheets.. a little black ink goes a very long way.

Doorknobs are generally harder for dogs to open , especially in older houses where the mechanism is stiff.
Lever handles are the easiest.

I understand your anxiety to a degree as I wouldn’t be happy at an event if I thought My dog care wasn’t set in stone. However, he hasn’t said he’s not coming.
i think you should let him bring his GF as he would be giving up his time with her.
you can still get a ring doorbell today at curry’s etc.
your DH needs to speak to him today and confirm he can bring GF and his expected arrival time.
in my opinion it’s easily sorted with direct communication. In fact so many posts here could be!

Don't go until he turns up....
You've been massively let down by dh who failed to communicate what was required and then and by dss who is pretty much flaking out. I 100% would be putting ddog first. Lesson learnt. Don't rely on them again. Feel free to rant and rave at them both...

Absolutely.
Neither are trustworthy.
I wouldn't trust your SS in the house, nor to do right by the dog.

Time for a rethink.

Just because he is in the house tonight doesn't stock him going out tomorrow though!!

You should probably stay home tbh as you clearly don't really want your DSS to stay over, you won't even let him bring his girlfriend ffs

So he appeared at 7pm with his gf

I am sorry Op.

If he loves the dog he will come tomorrow and look after it. Do you really think he'd leave a dog he loves with no food, water and walks? He's not needed until tomorrow so he's not let you down. You sound like you don't like your DS's very much. You're accusing him of letting you down when he's done no such thing. No wonder he wants to come once you've left for your holiday.

And are they dog sitting? That's good isn't it I thought you wanted him early and to meet the girlfriend?

You’re asking a teenager to act like an adult and do you a favour, but you won’t treat him like enough of an adult that he can bring his girlfriend to stay in his own Dad’s home. You can’t have it both ways. I’m not surprised he would rather do it his own way than dance to your tune. He’s doing you a favour ffs.

exactly this

Well alls good! Didn't realise he was only 17, does he see your and dhs house as his home too when not at uni, or is he a guest?

So did you go. Because in teenage logic he followed yiur rule you met her before she stayed (albeit in not the way I imagine you meant).

he sounds like a typical slightly selfish 17 year old

Is he at uni? Unless OP's in Scotland, I would assume he's at school still, and probably lives at his mum's house.

So did you go?

This is exactly what I would be doing, assuming dog is vaccinated and neutered.

I know it's a typo but poof expectations is lovely!

So you got what you wanted. He got there before you left (I assume you meant 7am) and you met the girlfriend. For a teenager being asked to do a favour for a woman who clearly doesn’t see her house as his home, that’s as close to the rule following as you can hope for. Or was it actually 7pm and you guys had stayed home instead of going away?

If posters read the OP's responses, she started the thread yesterday; and she indicates there's a time difference that puts her maybe in New Zealand, that DSS turned up 24 hours late, and that she didn't go away.

He didn’t turn up late though. He called to inform them when he will be turning up and proceeded to do exactly that. He didn’t pull out of looking after the dog like the title of the thread suggested, asking him sound very unreasonable. It was OP that was riddled with anxiety about it and did not go on the break she said she needed very much.

Be grateful that he turned up, and try seeing the better side of him.

You're attitude towards him is horrible.