Page 6 | DSS pulling out of looking Ddog last minute

stayathomer · 13/03/2025 12:28

I would guess he’s under huge pressure and is going to get to you extremely last minute but I’d say if you have any other options go with them- erring on the nicer side (ie glass half full) he probably doesn’t want to let you down but is probably feeling the pressure. I’d be worried too though that he would leave you in the lurch

Quinlan · 13/03/2025 12:30

sellotapechicken · 13/03/2025 12:19

having been in this situation trust your gut! DH asked his best friend to come and dog sit for a weekend. 2 nights 3 days when we went to visit my mum at Vicar school and we got home late on Sunday and I’ll never ever forget what we walked into. All the food I’d measured out was sat exactly where I left it, His water bowl was dry as a bone and there was a lake of wee and 3 poos by the back door. He ‘forgot’ he was meant to come and dog sit and so our dog had been alone from Friday night to Sunday evening. I got in the car and drove Round to that man’s house I don’t know how fast. I banged on the door (with the dog might I add) and screamed at him. I made him pay me for an emergency vet appointment to check the dog hadn’t gone into kidney failure and I told him if I ever saw him again I’d kill him.

Neither of you sent a text before you left?
I mean, it was 100% the guy’s fault but you didn’t send a text the night before he should arrive saying, “Thanks again for this weekend; I’ve measured out all the food so you don’t need to stress over it, just stick it in his bowl for him. See you when we’re back in a few days.”

Kuretake · 13/03/2025 12:30

Molstraat · 13/03/2025 12:10

He has form.
Why are you tolerating it from his father and him.
What do you do for him?
Stop it completely.
Do you contribute financially to his upkeep?
Stop it.

He has messed you about for the long time.
Sdnd your useless husbsnd off.
Tell your SS stay away and have a weekend of peace.

I wouldn't dream of tolerating this messing about from my children.

Oh and your useless husband has deliberately messed about with the video door bell.
People will treat you as poorly as you allow.

Edited

Tolerating what?! This is such a weird post. And you think her husband has deliberately not bought a ring doorbell so that......what? She won't know the dog is alone? You think the husband and his teenager are in cahoots to starve a dog?

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 13/03/2025 12:30

Theworldisinyourhands · 13/03/2025 12:11

Sorry if I missed this but to clarify.... Has anyone actually picked up the phone and asked him where he is? It's not 1970 any more.

He's not missing 😂

Bloodpressureeek · 13/03/2025 12:31

It’s what you sign up for when you get a dog. Sadly you have to be responsible for it.

oakleaffy · 13/03/2025 12:32

sellotapechicken · 13/03/2025 12:19

having been in this situation trust your gut! DH asked his best friend to come and dog sit for a weekend. 2 nights 3 days when we went to visit my mum at Vicar school and we got home late on Sunday and I’ll never ever forget what we walked into. All the food I’d measured out was sat exactly where I left it, His water bowl was dry as a bone and there was a lake of wee and 3 poos by the back door. He ‘forgot’ he was meant to come and dog sit and so our dog had been alone from Friday night to Sunday evening. I got in the car and drove Round to that man’s house I don’t know how fast. I banged on the door (with the dog might I add) and screamed at him. I made him pay me for an emergency vet appointment to check the dog hadn’t gone into kidney failure and I told him if I ever saw him again I’d kill him.

That's shocking..The man can't have been a dog lover.
A bespoke pet sitter is well worth paying for to stop this type of stress.

sellotapechicken · 13/03/2025 12:34

@Quinlanno! Sorry DH texted him and gave him the spare key at work that morning. He said he was on his way round on Friday night when DH text asking how the dog was. He made out that he was 100% looking after our dog.

MeAndMyCatCharlotte · 13/03/2025 12:34

What a shame that you don't trust his judgement with the girlfriend. It does sound as though he was planning to sneak her in. Pity, as the chances are that she is a normal person and they would have had a nice weekend together just caring for the dog. You can't know or assume that they were going to throw a massive house party or that she is going to steal your diamonds.

diddl · 13/03/2025 12:35

So if your ss comes over when he now says he will-how long will the dog have been left alone?

Obviously the night before wasn't needed as you were still there?

oakleaffy · 13/03/2025 12:35

Quinlan · 13/03/2025 12:30

Neither of you sent a text before you left?
I mean, it was 100% the guy’s fault but you didn’t send a text the night before he should arrive saying, “Thanks again for this weekend; I’ve measured out all the food so you don’t need to stress over it, just stick it in his bowl for him. See you when we’re back in a few days.”

Show quote history

That's a very good point.
When I cat sit, I send the owners a pic and message every day so they know I have been. Doesn't cost much to receive, even on ''roaming''.

CandyCane457 · 13/03/2025 12:35

I’d be furious, especially as he has form for this.

Are you getting a flight or driving? If it’s somewhere you’re driving to, as annoying as it is, and will cut it your holiday, but I’d just wait for him to arrive and then go. But make sure he knows this is what you’re having to do. Get your husband to speak to him.

Quinlan · 13/03/2025 12:36

sellotapechicken · 13/03/2025 12:34

@Quinlanno! Sorry DH texted him and gave him the spare key at work that morning. He said he was on his way round on Friday night when DH text asking how the dog was. He made out that he was 100% looking after our dog.

So he didn’t forget?! He literally just decided nah, he’d leave the dog to starve! That’s awful, and so much worse than him actually forgetting.
I don’t even know how I’d speak to him, and your husband had to work with the guy? Some people really are just shitty friends, aren’t they.

Bleeky · 13/03/2025 12:36

xpectingtoomuch · 13/03/2025 09:50

DH and I are due to go away this weekend, everything is booked and it's for a special event.
We asked DSS if he would mind looking after Ddog (our family dog, a dog he was very much part of the decision when she joined our family) it's the night before and DSS hadn't arrived as planned, due to course work. AIBU to not understand why he can't come as planned, do his work here? I'm now anxious at leaving tomorrow in case he doesn't bother coming to look after Ddog. I just can't understand the logic, apparently he'll come down tomorrow afternoon once we've gone. But it's just not sitting right with me....

Just trust him.
You are worrying when you don’t need to, he will look after the dog.

Really what is worst thing that can happen? It’s not like he is going to not show up at all.

Hes just not doing Exactly what You want, but will look after the dog.
trust him.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 13/03/2025 12:37

Kuretake · 13/03/2025 12:30

Tolerating what?! This is such a weird post. And you think her husband has deliberately not bought a ring doorbell so that......what? She won't know the dog is alone? You think the husband and his teenager are in cahoots to starve a dog?

Show quote history

So many of these posts are weird. He didn't turn up 12+ hours before the OP and her husband leave the house and sometimes he cancels coming over so he's a chronic flake who will starve the dog and the OP should read the riot act.

sellotapechicken · 13/03/2025 12:42

Quinlan · 13/03/2025 12:36

So he didn’t forget?! He literally just decided nah, he’d leave the dog to starve! That’s awful, and so much worse than him actually forgetting.
I don’t even know how I’d speak to him, and your husband had to work with the guy? Some people really are just shitty friends, aren’t they.

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Yeah it was awful!

crouchendtigerr · 13/03/2025 12:42

If he has course work, I would just postpone the weekend. It's the end of year, exams are coming up, assignments must be handed in. He quite rightly has decided his coursework trumps your weekend away

RedSkyDelights · 13/03/2025 12:43

TheAmusedQuail · 13/03/2025 12:24

@xpectingtoomuch I don't think you are expecting too much. He agreed to come that evening. Then didn't. You can't go away without him arriving. What if he flakes on that too? Leave the dog in the house all weekend, alone?

But it is the husband that is at fault. Not the OP. And even less so the DSS. He's 17. 17 year olds ARE flaky. His father is the one that should drive over, get him, and bring him back. He can do his coursework at his fathers house.

Make a plan. Stick to it. How hard is it?

If he had turned up tonight he could still have gone away and left the dog on its own 5 minutes after OP had gone. OP either trusts him or she doesn't.
Forcing him to come tonight when it serves no purpose in getting the dog looked after is counter productive.

oakleaffy · 13/03/2025 12:43

sellotapechicken · 13/03/2025 12:34

@Quinlanno! Sorry DH texted him and gave him the spare key at work that morning. He said he was on his way round on Friday night when DH text asking how the dog was. He made out that he was 100% looking after our dog.

Wow that really is appalling.
I hope your husband stopped being friends with this thoughtless arsehole.

How would he like to be trapped in a cell with no access to fresh water, the toilet and food? {which is what a house is to a dog}

Mum's friend looked after her daughter's cat and dog, arrived on Boxing Day after a couple of hours , to find the Cat and Dog had got inside the fridge and between them had made an enormous mess.

Turkey carcass and trifle and double cream everywhere....and both cat and dog had been sick.

Into the car to the Out of Hours vet, as the dog had a bone ''stuck in his throat'' {probably jammed between the carnassial teeth at the very back}

That was a very expensive and stressful house sit. {Richmond Vets Out of Hours do not come cheap}

''Oh dog has had a walk, yes, come at 10am, that'll be fine''

Dog and cat : ''Hold my 🍺 🍻 Beer''

DoubleMM · 13/03/2025 12:48

What? you have been having a silent fight with him about bringing his girlfriend and are now trying to cause a bit problem by refusing to go on the weekend break? if you think he wants to bring his girlfriend you KNOW that he intended to come. think about your motives here

AuntAgathaGregson · 13/03/2025 12:49

xpectingtoomuch · 13/03/2025 12:19

I’m the first to admit I’m overreacting. I’m tired, cranky and need a weekend away. I do have a good relationship with DSS, but he like most teens is selfish. When we go away normally we get house sitters (organised by me), this time as it’s short DH said he’d sort it out with DSS. Yes of course I can get a door bell but I don’t want to have to. I wanted something to go to plan for once.
I wanted to see DSS tonight and know he was in the house, not leave in the morning not knowing when he’ll arrive.
I’m probably hard work because I’m exhausted and just need a break.

For goodness sake, just take your break. You have no reason to think your stepson won't come, and so what if he has his girlfriend visiting? The dog will probably enjoy the company.

CharlotteLightandDark · 13/03/2025 12:50

Comparisonisthethiefofjoy11 · 13/03/2025 10:28

Why don't you just write dog? Why Ddog 😅

Why the D-anything? It’s so silly and twee. I refuse to write it!

back to the thread - can you drop the dog off at his?

treesandsun · 13/03/2025 12:54

I don't think you can have it both ways - he has changed what he agreed but he hasn't pulled out of looking after the dog. You want him to be responsible for looking after the dog and house for the weekend but not happy with him bringing his girlfriend and think he wants a party house. If you think he wants a party house and don't trust him to arrive - why ask him. Is he living away at uni at 17? Then surely he has some modicum of responsibility. If I was doing you a favour - then I wouldn't see why I need to arrive the day before I am actually needed.

LoveWine123 · 13/03/2025 12:56

You are creating so much drama and anxiety for yourself for absolutely no reason. He hasn’t gone missing, he hasn’t stopped communicating…he has let you know what the plan is and it does sound reasonable. You are being overly dramatic wanting to not go on your trip…if this is how you are normally, no wonder you are over stressed.

sellotapechicken · 13/03/2025 13:00

oakleaffy · 13/03/2025 12:43

Wow that really is appalling.
I hope your husband stopped being friends with this thoughtless arsehole.

How would he like to be trapped in a cell with no access to fresh water, the toilet and food? {which is what a house is to a dog}

Mum's friend looked after her daughter's cat and dog, arrived on Boxing Day after a couple of hours , to find the Cat and Dog had got inside the fridge and between them had made an enormous mess.

Turkey carcass and trifle and double cream everywhere....and both cat and dog had been sick.

Into the car to the Out of Hours vet, as the dog had a bone ''stuck in his throat'' {probably jammed between the carnassial teeth at the very back}

That was a very expensive and stressful house sit. {Richmond Vets Out of Hours do not come cheap}

''Oh dog has had a walk, yes, come at 10am, that'll be fine''

Dog and cat : ''Hold my 🍺 🍻 Beer''

Show quote history

Oh my word!! What a nightmare! Yes he never spoke to him again. We moved away about a year later and the knob got in touch and asked if he wanted to meet up as they hadn’t spoken in a while and he missed his friendship.

apparently he was shocked to hear that DH still didn’t want to speak to him and asked if it was to do with the dog? Yes.. yes it is! You nearly killed him!

AnonymousBleep · 13/03/2025 13:05

I pay my son for dogsitting (as well as making sure he's got plenty of food in including his favourite treats). I pay him half what I'd pay a professional dogsitter and consider that I've got a bargain!

If you're not even paying the kid for doing you a huge favour, and won't let his girlfriend stay in your house either, then don't be surprised if he flakes out at a better offer (which let's face it, is literally anything).