New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

[Beautifulbouquet]

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

Australian Fosters is Vegan. If he has the non vegan Posters then he probably isn’t aware?

I am povvo but still enjoy the occasional meal out as well as walks, sightseeing etc. It sounds like options would be really limiting with him.

Is anyone else getting an impression of a man with a black cloud over him slathering over cold tofu in a "my precious" Gollum type way?

What are his good points?

Is his name Paul and he’s from Yorkshire? I think I recognise this as someone I was at Uni with 🤣

Nope he is not the one. He sounds pretty joyless.

**whoops I meant slavering not slathering 😳

Is he mean with money, OP?

I wonder why you kept seeing him when you saw the state of his home. Didn't that put you off?

Or Jon from the South West?

Very much reminds me of someone I crossed paths with once...

Gross

I don’t doubt it! I’ve been vegetarian for twenty five years (since I was 12), and many of my immediate family are vegan/have gone through vegan phases.

But if he won’t even eat at a vegan restaurant…? The veganism is beside the point…I was questioning if he’d be prepared to eat anything at his own wedding that wasn’t made by his own hands or that of his would-be spouse.

PS. I want that spice rack

He sounds far too rigid. I wouldn't want my life to be that small. He sounds rather joyless and self righteous.

Ugh. He sounds like fun. If he’s like this now just imagine what your life will become when he’s in his fifties. Run!

I can't bear people who take no joy in food or fuss about which restaurants they want to go to. wouldn't tolerate it in a friend and I certainly wouldn't in a life partner. And he's a step above in refunding to eat out at all. What a joyless life with a picky whining narcissist.

As PP's have said. What about holidays, birthdays, weddings. What if you have kids?

Hard no to numbered potatoes cold tofu man

And by the way OP you say you sit drinking wine. The vast majority of wine is definitely NOT vegan. The winemaking process uses egg white in the fining process

So if you started dating with the aim of having a companion to eat at restaurants with, you'd be happy to eat your meal while he sat there and ate nothing every time?

What about the state of his kitchen and the fact he refuses the most common couple outings, still fine for you? Happy to hang in his filthy home every night watching him munch on cold tofu?

If this is all OK for you I guess other women should be grateful to you for taking men like him out of the dating pool.

I also think he’s possibly on the spectrum when you put together his habits in general. And the rigidity in eating sounds like an excuse for some kind of disordered eating. It’s difficult to pin down what. ARFID perhaps whether diagnosable levels or not. Idk. It looks as if you just want fun and a lighthearted relationship. In that case, this guy may be nice and have a lot of qualities that you find attractive. It doesn’t read like he’s the one for you. He is placing too many constraints on you both.

Just the fact he was vegan would have me reaching for the dating apps.

Good grief, I feel drained just reading about him. Think what a restrictive life you'd end up living with him. It's a definite no from me.

And shellfish!

There is a vegetarian restaurant outside, right? Leave him now. It's boring to be with such a person.

I don't eat out or have takeaways often - I prefer to cook my own food. But I'd hate to never go out for a meal! It's sociable and an important part of celebrations. Think of Christmas dinners, barbecues, picnics - so many things he wouldn't do or would sit there with his miserable vegan sandwich. Dump him.

What’s the point of a relationship that can be sustained only by you giving up things you enjoy?

You went on the second date with this weirdo?
As soon as Tofu appeared I would have left 😂

Could he be on the spectrum? Warning only black clothes sounds odd af!

If eating out is important to you, he is not the right boyfriend.

Honey, nobody needs a boyfriend this badly.

A sure fire way to lose weight 😂