Page 36 | New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

Beautifulbouquet · 2025-03-12T22:43:21+00:00

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever. He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me. I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to. His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food. I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

Agapornis · 15/03/2025 14:44

No man comes between me and my tools!! Go round and get your stuff back, fuck that!

Ionut · 15/03/2025 15:03

Lentilweaver · 15/03/2025 14:05

Everytime I look at this thread OP has added yet another dealbreaker. Now hea's a drinker and depressed.

We now have
Vegan who wont eat out ever
Brings his own potatoes
Thinks a tofu sandwich is fun
Does not go on holiday
Doesnt shower
Dresses only in black
Keeps a dirty kitchen
Drinks to excess
Depressed but won't see a doctor

But she still won't break up with him properly. Baffling!

You forgot... racist cupboards, drinking alcohol in a playground, paranoia and doesn't have similar interests to OP.

Nchanged89 · 15/03/2025 16:21

Beautifulbouquet · 15/03/2025 14:26

I have broken up with him.

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Have you though?

Original poster

Beautifulbouquet · 15/03/2025 16:38

Nchanged89 · 15/03/2025 16:21

Have you though?

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Yes. In case it isn't clear we have broken up we aren't in contact.
I do appreciate written down like this it seems ridiculous but I was very fond of him. I'm quite eccentric myself and he's someone I felt often accepted by.

You've all been amazing.

Friend has offered to come speed dating with me if we can find an event where you take a mate (she's happily married).

So onwards and upwards with huge thanks for the support and laughs x

OP posts:

Cabinqueen · 15/03/2025 16:40

Beautifulbouquet · 15/03/2025 14:26

I have broken up with him.

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Oh thank god!!!! 😁

SallyDraperGetInHere · 15/03/2025 17:12

Lentilweaver · 15/03/2025 14:05

Everytime I look at this thread OP has added yet another dealbreaker. Now hea's a drinker and depressed.

We now have
Vegan who wont eat out ever
Brings his own potatoes
Thinks a tofu sandwich is fun
Does not go on holiday
Doesnt shower
Dresses only in black
Keeps a dirty kitchen
Drinks to excess
Depressed but won't see a doctor

But she still won't break up with him properly. Baffling!

And is afraid someone is going to burgle his house and steal his remaining potatoes

ItsCalledAConversation · 15/03/2025 17:41

It was potato singular. Not potatoes. He brought round a lone potato

Ionut · 15/03/2025 19:26

SallyDraperGetInHere · 15/03/2025 17:12

And is afraid someone is going to burgle his house and steal his remaining potatoes

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I'm always on the pinch for a potato.

ThriveAT · 15/03/2025 20:19

OP, your posts have been very touching. You are a kind, sensitive person and I wish you a wonderful life with lots of love and adventure.

T1Dmama · 15/03/2025 21:14

Sounds like an excuse.., how does he know the glasses he drinks out of aren’t washed up in products that were tested on animals?! Does he buy vegan shoes?

Original poster

Beautifulbouquet · 15/03/2025 22:38

ThriveAT · 15/03/2025 20:19

OP, your posts have been very touching. You are a kind, sensitive person and I wish you a wonderful life with lots of love and adventure.

Ah that has made me feel very special. Thank you xx

OP posts:

OldChairMan · 16/03/2025 01:00

I haven't got my stuff back and don't imagine I will. This is tools etc not just a toothbrush.

That's plain nasty and completely unreasonable of him. So much for ethics.

SallyDraperGetInHere · 16/03/2025 03:19

ItsCalledAConversation · 15/03/2025 17:41

It was potato singular. Not potatoes. He brought round a lone potato

He has the remaining potatoes in a safe.

T1Dmama · 16/03/2025 11:01

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 00:19

I'm feeling like what is the point in discussing the issue.

Also I am terrified he will back down and agree to go out for a meal now.

As it stands I can just say he's brilliant but sadly my main interest in / motivation in having a boyfriend is someone to go out for dinner with.

And we can hopefully just both accept this sad reality of two souls mates sadly cut asunder through incompatability without me ever having to listen to a stupid word that comes out of his mouth.

Also I wanted to do pub quiz last night and even though we were already in the pub he said no so we sat there trying to talk while all the questions were being read out. Maybe there would have been a question about bacon.

He also refuses to wear anything that isn't black. Because his favourite colour is black.

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I
would have to end it but I would have to tell him that his refusal to EVER eat out is the main reason as you want to holiday etc with a partner… and I would have to drop in that fosters isn’t bloody vegan so he’s being a total hypercrit!!

RampantIvy · 16/03/2025 11:26

She has ended it @T1Dmama

T1Dmama · 16/03/2025 11:43

Beautifulbouquet · 15/03/2025 11:56

I think he'd class as a heavy drinker. We literally never hung out without drinking.

He's depressed. He doesn't want therapy or medication as he doesn't trust doctors.

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I’ve been reading this whole thread
thinking there’s more
to this than simply being fussy or tight with money….
his sheer paranoia and depression says to me there is more to do with mental health than there is about the veganism!
I had a friend who had some very ‘quirky ways’… he functioned and worked while well, but has his difficulties….
he had a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenic and I wonder if this man also has some form of either this or a personality disorder. He does sound like someone who is struggling.

T1Dmama · 16/03/2025 11:49

As for your belongings - why can’t you just
ask for your stuff to be returned? Or turn up knock his door and say could he please return XY & Z to you.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 16/03/2025 14:22

I'd have got the ick over this straightaway! Controlling, not to mention isolating behaviour. YANBU to leave him, he can enjoy his lonely life habits and you can take yourself out for dinner somewhere lovely. Hopefully you’ll meet someone less utterly joyless next time!

Arran2024 · 16/03/2025 17:46

People like this are often really controlling in lots of areas of their lives. My daughter had a boyfriend who would not eat sugar - no cakes on birthdays even. He was massively into fitness and had all sorts of routines. He stalked her when she finished with him and ended up in court....red flag imo

CheekyPombear · 17/03/2025 02:48

AnnListersBlister · 14/03/2025 13:39

My friend very kindly offered to treat me to lunch at a vegan restaurant once-I looked at the menu and said 'No thank you!' it was very generic-I am a rare one as I do like vegan cheese substitutes but it seemed that it was mostly cheesy pasta dishes which I didn't like the sound of and I didn't think would give him a good impression of vegan food either!

We went to a 'normal' restaurant where the food was fab for both of us.

Greens in Manchester (vegetarian)-Just not very good? Fine, but not good. And if I am paying restaurant prices I don't want to sit on plastic 'cheap beer garden' chairs.

Corarima in Wakefield however (more 'accidentally vegan'-Excellent!

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Im vegetarian but i eat out now and then.
Greens is crap. I like a plant stack at my local beefeater.
He sounds like a bloke i knew years ago black clothes rarely washed drinks a lot.
Except he was a bus driver.

AnnListersBlister · 17/03/2025 06:22

CheekyPombear · 17/03/2025 02:48

Im vegetarian but i eat out now and then.
Greens is crap. I like a plant stack at my local beefeater.
He sounds like a bloke i knew years ago black clothes rarely washed drinks a lot.
Except he was a bus driver.

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I think they've closed permanently now to be fair.
Did the OP ever say what this chap did for a living?

CheekyPombear · 17/03/2025 19:44

AnnListersBlister · 17/03/2025 06:22

I think they've closed permanently now to be fair.
Did the OP ever say what this chap did for a living?

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The OP didnt say what the man she is seeing does for work but she did say he doesnt have a driving licence he cannot drive and he doesnt own a car or motorbike.
I went to Greens in 2018 it was crap then. If it has closed im not surprised.

CheekyPombear · 17/03/2025 19:45

T1Dmama · 16/03/2025 11:43

I’ve been reading this whole thread
thinking there’s more
to this than simply being fussy or tight with money….
his sheer paranoia and depression says to me there is more to do with mental health than there is about the veganism!
I had a friend who had some very ‘quirky ways’… he functioned and worked while well, but has his difficulties….
he had a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenic and I wonder if this man also has some form of either this or a personality disorder. He does sound like someone who is struggling.

Show quote history

If he needs help he should see his GP they can help you access help services.

Original poster

Beautifulbouquet · 18/03/2025 11:19

CheekyPombear · 17/03/2025 19:45

If he needs help he should see his GP they can help you access help services.

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He's not even registered with a GP because guess what...he does not trust doctors

OP posts:

SallyDraperGetInHere · 18/03/2025 11:20

Beautifulbouquet · 18/03/2025 11:19

He's not even registered with a GP because guess what...he does not trust doctors

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Quelle surprise!