New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

[Beautifulbouquet]

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

Can't eat 🍯 honey!!
Not Vegan!

I love eating out, so someone that by choice refuses to, I would not be compatible with.

As has probably already been suggested, it sounds like it stems from something more complex than him just being vegan. At the hotel for example he could easily have had fresh fruit for breakfast in the confidence that it were vegan.. Depending on how important food and eating out is to you.. I think you might find that this is a huge sticking point and really saps the joy out of your life.

Get rid. You’ll end up miserable and resentful. He needs to learn the world doesn’t revolve around him and his wants. You’re incompatible, that’s reason enough to break up.

"overly paranoid yet fake vegan" has made me laugh out loud.

For some balance, can we hear what his qualities are? Is he hot, talented, a good conversationalist, funny, interesting… anything?

So far I’ve read he never eats out, only wears black, has a filthy kitchen, once brought you a potato and 6 tomatoes, can’t sit through a film, doesn’t go on holiday and basically sucks the joy out of every situation. Why have you been seeing this cold-tofu-sandwich of a man in the first place?

Well he sounds like great fun. No holidays ,no eating out, no cinema. What does he enjoy ?

You’ll end up miserable and resentful.

Absolutely. If he’s this insufferable and just so unsexy now when dating and when couples tend to try to show their best sides, I can’t imagine what he’ll be like when he inevitably goes through his ‘cantankerous, increasingly stuck-in-his-ways stage’ which a few people in my life are going through.

He did once bring a potato and six tomatoes to my house.

😂

Honestly OP if he's like this now when you are just dating, imagine what being married to him would be like! He's got a lot of issues that need sorting out, and you shouldn't be the one to do it!

What on earth is a Romesh Vegan?

@Beautifulbouquet the pub quiz thing alone would do it for me. I’m glad you’re feeling motivated to move on here.

oh dear, he sounds like he needs a good scrub! I would be ditching him. A filthy kitchen would be enough for me to throw him back

Another agreement that he sounds like too high maintenance to bother with.
Suggest a holiday somewhere or weekend away and see how it goes.

Forget the rest of it … I’d dump him for drinking Fosters.

This guy has more issues than Time magazine. He sounds very, very odd. Imagine not ever being to go to restaurants, eat at festivals, concerts, even go on holidays. He sounds unhinged and lacking socialisation. Ain't nobody got time for that. Throw him back. It's a lot easier now before you get too involved and moving in.

What an absolute tosser on every level. Chuck him in the food waste bin (along with his tofu and chickenless chunks) and run for the hills and the nearest steakhouse.

Oh sorry Op, but I couldn't date someone like that! Does he go for Coffee? Or to the pub?

ONLY that?? Only something that will affect OP’s life and eating habits on a daily basis? Nah, he’s a tool.

Many wines are not vegan? I suspect this is a money thing, there are plenty of vegan restaurants. If a man said he wanted me to cook instead of going out I would be so turned off.

Exactly. By declaring this now, the details are that he won't go on holiday, won't go to parties, won't go for Sunday lunch at your mums, won't go to a festival etc etc. Ditch. (I say this as the wife of someone that has an illness where their stomach gets upset quickly/easily when they eat something and will NOT eat out for fear of a toilet emergency) it's depressing. Say goodbye to your social life.

Dirty kitchen, wearing the same clothes day after day, doesn’t want to eat out or holiday….nah!
Bet you’ve done more of the cooking already?
Dump this controlling man as it will only get worse.

I have an eating disorder and cannot eat out at all. The responses in this thread are awful. It's like when you don't drink, and people try to shame you into forcing alcohol on you. The same as in... Why? Why do I have to eat somewhere else? Why does he? Why do we have to get takeaways? Whether he has an eating disorder or not... Why? Why do you have to make us?

OP can be told to break up with him without everyone being a bully about it. But people need to bully about it... why?

Just because I don't eat out doesn't mean no one else can. No one has to hang out or be with me, or OPs partner. Thankfully, my partner is very sweet and cool about it all, and never makes me eat out or get takeaways that I do not want. He can do what he likes (but he ends up eating healthier with me as a result, really).

It's so, so weird how people need to force you to eat out or get takeaways when socialising.. Like they can't socialise or have a good time without stuffing their faces, and needing everyone to join in. And being a bully if they don't / can't.

Quite aside from the food nonsense, he’s already being controlling, which is a massive 🚩 It was selfish and mean of him not to do the pub quiz with you, and this is at the start of a relationship, when most people are eager to be amenable and indulgent. It’s just the tip of the iceberg. Get out while you can and don’t waste another day on him.

Bet you this isn’t the only thing he’s so controlling about

He doesn't sound vegan... normally they're so quiet about their dietary habits.

They're like the marathon runners of the food world.

Too complicated