New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

[Beautifulbouquet]

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

No idea about beers but most wine isn’t vegan as the majority of wines allegedly use animal/fish products in part of the filtering process.

So he’s quite the hypocrite. Or maybe just using veganism as a excuse for being tight?

I do voluntary work with a lot of vegans (it’s a wildlife charity) annd even our Christmas party buffet is vegan. At no point have I ever seen any of them eat a cold tofu sandwich. I’ve had to take my own vegan packed lunch for one of my jobs (no non-vegan food allowed onsite unless it’s for the wildlife patients) and even I managed a better effort than your boyfriend (and I LOATHE packed lunches).

Let this one swim away, plenty more fish...

I doubt he'll go swimming - the water might be contaminated with fish jizz

wow I bet he's fun at parties!

I think the 'constant wearing of the (exact) same clothes is a red flag too. Granted, yes you can wear the same top or whatever for more than one day, but do they get washed in between wears?

You know you can do better than this OP. He sounds like a total mood hoover. I couldn't be with someone this fussy. You will definitely get irritated by it as time goes on. Life is for living and it doesn't sound like you will be doing much of that with him.
It sounds like he wants everything his way or the highway. Lose the bastard or spend your life wishing you could do normal things like everyone else you know. Also as other poster have mentioned lots of lagers are not vegan. They use animal products like gelatin and casein. Some are flavoured with honey etc. Same goes for wines. It sounds like it's whatever suits him from what you have said so far.

Ugh! Tedious! I couldn't bear how dull things would be and as for a cold tofu sandwich- 🤮🤮🤮

"He is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food."

Tbh this sounds quite paranoid. Most chefs understand the importance of upholding diners dietary requirements. I've been vegetarian and vegan at different points and the idea that someone would contaminate my food to the point of never ever eating out has never crossed my mind. I personally would be very turned off by that degree of rigidity especially knowing he won't socialise with your friends or attend special celebrations like birthdays etc.

My ex though not vegan had the palate of a four year old. It sucked the joy out of going out to dinner, holidays and social situations. Honestly this will drag you down.

I actually can't fucking believe this.

Foster's isn't vegan??

He gets it delivered every week.

It's the beer he always at home.

So he's drinking a non vegan beer but he won't even come to lunch at the restaurant where I work because he thinks they'll hide hotdogs in his hommous.

I'm honestly speechless. I will tell him about the Foster's to see what he says but I don't think ill be much impressed with his answers.

Foster's isn't vegan. Well. Well. A less strong woman would bloody text him that now.

He’s either tight or has disordered eating. A nice meal out is one if the joys of life. I couldn’t put up with this.

Also I don’t think I could keep a straight face with the cold tofu sandwich or the potato and tomatoes. My WTF expression would be full force.

It wouldn't be a deal breaker in terms of casual dating for me as long as you're finding ways to enjoy time together when it suits. But I would never progress to serious relationship stage and certainly wouldn't consider having children with someone like that.

A love for eating out (and enjoying the food portion of travel) is something that I would ideally like a partner to share with me to some degree, but it's not an absolute dealbreaker if they were just neutral or tolerant towards it. But it sounds like this guy has an incredibly rigid stance that would have persistent, widespread implications for relationships/social occasions, travel, and raising children. Honestly I think you'd have to be desperate to get into a relationship with someone who would say they won't attend your birthday dinner if you want to have it in a restaurant.

perhaps he has just assumed beer and wine is vegan? Bit daft if he’s so strict he won’t even go to a restaurant…

I could understand if he had serious allergy but he’s being ridiculous. Perhaps he is ND or maybe some kind of eating disorder. Needs therapy

I don’t think this about being vegan. I bet this is the tip of his neurosis iceberg.

Lots of booze isn't vegan.

This thread has made me laugh - cold tofu sandwiches, hiding a hot dog in the hummus 🤣. What a drag this bloke is, ditch asap.

There are completely vegan venues, not loads but they do exist. I wouldn’t date someone who would never eat out it’s one of life’s truly great pleasures.

And vegan wine?

Btw- there's a fair number of ignorant comments about veganism on here. I'm not even vegetarian but probably 50-60 % of what my husband and I cook is vegan. It's very easy to cook tasty, healthy vegan meals without resorting to crappy "vegan meat substitutes.

Eeesh, this would be a deal breaker for me. Any kind of fussiness about food just makes my fanny snap shut like a bulldog clip. SO unattractive.

I'm sorry. Whatever he's got that's worth having, he ISN'T worth having. Tell him to find a fellow conspiracy vegan!

Doubt his eating is REALLY about being vegan. He might tell himself that, but it seems to be a control thing for him. He probably can’t handle variety and change and limits his choices. A very difficult person to be with - I’d stay far away.

bringing one potato and 6 tomatoes to the OP's house for a meal, not liking the cinema due to not wanting to sit still for long periods of time...

Is he from the 90s? Or middle.aged and just never realised how much it has changed? Back then it was pretty much impossible to eat out.

I'm vegan and have a severe dairy allergy. Some areas are way behind the times but I can't remember the last time that I was in an area with zero options for any meal.

Is he saying that he won't eat at a vegetarian or vegan restaurant? Or just that he won't eat at an Omni place?

Between the “husband’s food choices” thread, the guy breaking up over mushrooms, and this, it seems there’s a plague of men and insane eating habits.

I love food and eating out, and dislike dining with fussy eaters as it takes the pleasure out of sharing a meal together.

If you're anything like me OP, you'd be best to move on as it sounds like he has some longstanding issues around food.