Page 32 | New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

Beautifulbouquet · 2025-03-12T22:43:21+00:00

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever. He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me. I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to. His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food. I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

Mush62 · 14/03/2025 19:24

HMW19061 · 14/03/2025 14:36

You need to decide whether this is a deal breaker for you. If you want to be able to eat out with your bf/potential life partner then end it now.

I personally would end it as not being able to spontaneously go out for lunch/dinner would be a deal breaker for me.

Where is the deal? Everything is on his terms, fuck him off or stay in and cook forever.

Rockchicknana · 14/03/2025 19:44

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

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He sounds a real bundle of fun!!

NaomhPadraigin · 14/03/2025 19:47

Beautifulbouquet · 14/03/2025 19:21

I really don't think she meant this literally! It was satire

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Oh good! I need to up my radar today 😊

Ionut · 14/03/2025 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Are you a man?

Ionut · 14/03/2025 19:49

Beautifulbouquet · 14/03/2025 19:21

I really don't think she meant this literally! It was satire

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Was it?

Rockchicknana · 14/03/2025 19:55

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 11:19

He won't open the blinds as he says people will see his stuff and then steal it.

He lives at the end of a very small cul de sac

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Honestly the more you tell us about him the more he sounds a total weirdo! Definitely one for the bin I feel.

AnnListersBlister · 14/03/2025 20:02

Beautifulbouquet · 14/03/2025 18:09

Hey so we met up.

I feel really sad.

I can't really explain it. He turned up with a four pack of Fosters so I didn't tell him about the Fosters.

He said swings made him sick but he sat on one for a bit. I sat on a swing but my feet didn't touch the ground so I couldn't swing. It was all pathetic.

I guess we've split up but the conversation isn't very clear to me. He just didn't make any effort so it didn't really seem necessary. I tried to talk. I just feel sad and like he doesn't even seem to like me. I think the important thing to him is just to be able to keep living his life how he wants.

Thanks to everyone for such kindness xx

He definitely sounds as if he has ASD OP, presenting in ways that don't suit you and make you feel uneasy.

It's okay to feel sad but this wasn't ever going to work.

Ladymeade · 14/03/2025 20:04

Absolutely couldn't cope with this as eating out is such a pleasure. I would have to dump him as that attitude would be too much of a mood hoover!

Xcxlxn · 14/03/2025 20:04

as someone who has been vegan for 8 years this is ridiculous.

there are loads of vegan only restaurants so if your willing to eat in one of those places would he still be saying this? Also restaurants have to be so careful with allergens so cross contamination is really serious.

plus as well being vegan is about not adding to the demand of animal products (in the simplest terms and not getting to preachy/deep about it) so as long as his not ordering anything non vegan he isn’t adding to the demand.

I can’t get on board with this kind of mentality, he just sounds like a bit of a bore/or tight with money neither of which are any fun for you/healthy for a long term relationship

CatCaretaker · 14/03/2025 20:04

Not at all the point of the thread, and I've read all of your updates so I know you've broken up, but crikey a cold, soggy, flavourlees, tofu sandwich sounds absolutely vile.

AnnListersBlister · 14/03/2025 20:06

Ionut · 14/03/2025 19:13

Ugh, who being a 4 pack of fosters to the swings?

Yes, that struck me as more than a bit weird too! Maybe if you were 15 (but then it'd be 20/20 or white lightning or something..

Toptops · 14/03/2025 20:08

Dear Beautifulbouquet
You already know the answer to your post!
Say goodbye to miseryguts and embrace a fun and delicious future with someone less restricted x

AnnListersBlister · 14/03/2025 20:08

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 14/03/2025 19:21

I think you’ve done the right thing. Despite saying at the beginning of dating that he wanted someone to go for lunches, holidays, days out and have affection and fun with, after a few months my ex wouldn’t go anywhere except walk through the streets and look in charity shops, eat anywhere except Weatherspoons during the special offer time, go on holiday, hug or kiss or have sex or eat anything he had said he liked at the beginning. It got worse over time and he also stopped washing much. They just want things their own way after they think they’ve secured us.

This is another thing my ex did, sort of. Said about how much she loved going out and doing things. Turned out she had a very specific phobia meaning she couldn't be out for long at all. We spent days/nights sitting about in people's houses-drinking booze.

I love booze! I'm going to go out for a few proseccos with my friends shortly-that's not the problem, but sitting around in folks' houses doing it? They didn't have much conversation either. I was beyond bored. And she made excuses all the time-only telling me about the phobia almost a year down the line!

wmch · 14/03/2025 20:10

You lost me at vegan

Layla120 · 14/03/2025 20:17

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

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Oh my god yeah - don't hesitate to get shot. It's such a red flag at such an early stage for him to be laying down the law. He is being upfront (I guess granted) but he is showing you how inflexible he is and believe me (from hard won experience) this is not a good thing!

Lovemeapickledgherkin · 14/03/2025 20:20

…Nah.

Tandora · 14/03/2025 20:24

who says “dine out” 😂

berightorbehappy · 14/03/2025 20:27

Sorry , you lost me at him bringing a potato and 6 tomatoes to your house !?!? There are too many oddities. Unless the good times ( are there any ? ) outweigh the peculiar stuff then set him free ….

Sixtygoingonthirty · 14/03/2025 20:28

DollopOfFun · 14/03/2025 18:36

He turned up at the park with a four pack of Fosters.

Oh honey, no. It's for the best.

This is what concerned me the most …. He turned up at 430 in the afternoon, in a park with four beers? Op, try not to be sad , I think in a few days you’ll realise you’re best off out of it.

Original poster

Beautifulbouquet · 14/03/2025 20:45

It wasn't even that but the entire unenthusiasm

OP posts:

Sjh15 · 14/03/2025 20:50

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

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What DOES he like?

think long term
holidays
days out
days out with children
weekends away?
a spa day

all of these things you have to cook afterwards????

Khayker · 14/03/2025 20:53

I'm vegetarian and I think he's overthinking what he can/can't eat and applying a hearty dose of paranoia. I think you should sit him down and talk about this but I'm afraid his problems will manifest in other ways as his suspicious nature probably doesn't just apply to what chefs might put in his food. Good luck.

Arran2024 · 14/03/2025 21:41

My daughter started seeing a guy with crohns. He only ate pasta and pork mince and he carried tupper ware containers of this everywhere. She finished with him for other reasons, but boy it was hard. He wouldn't eat our food, only his own stuff, and eating out was completely out of the question.

Mush62 · 14/03/2025 21:42

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 14/03/2025 19:21

I think you’ve done the right thing. Despite saying at the beginning of dating that he wanted someone to go for lunches, holidays, days out and have affection and fun with, after a few months my ex wouldn’t go anywhere except walk through the streets and look in charity shops, eat anywhere except Weatherspoons during the special offer time, go on holiday, hug or kiss or have sex or eat anything he had said he liked at the beginning. It got worse over time and he also stopped washing much. They just want things their own way after they think they’ve secured us.

Oh dear, not good

NavyTurtle · 14/03/2025 21:42

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:49

We stayed in a hotel for a night. He brought some bread and a packet of tofu and ate that for dinner (yes a cold tofu sandwich). At breakfast he said he wasn't hungry. Only yesterday he said that actually he never eats out.

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What on earth do you see in him. Sounds like a complete prat. Jettison him pronto.