New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

[Beautifulbouquet]

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

Op you know deep down that this cannot work LTB while you can. This behaviour won't change and will only worsen you deserve better.

My wife is a coeliac and has no choice in what she eats: wheat, oats etc make her very ill. Vegans impose their choices on everyone else. We wanted to invite a Vegan to dinner: I could find recipes to suite, so that was not a problem. Getting her new plates, knives and forks and pans that have never had meat in them, was a red flag to us.
In your case, he is manipulating you with his food, so what other restrictions will he impose later. Stop seeing your non vegan friends? Isolating you from non Vegan family? Sounds like a "My way or the highway" relationship. I would take the highway!!

He values his food faddism above your happiness or his relationship with you. You don’t need any part of this narcissistic nonsense. Bin him.

I mean meats not cooked throughly

I’ve never met a vegan who expected any of that at someone else’s house. That’s very unusual.

I would end the relationship. My daughter sas vegan for a year and we still went out fr
for meals.

I've just spent 4 weeks in hospital due to Crohn's Disease and have to go on low fibre diet, which is very complex to understand and restrictive, but me and my DP will work it out.

However I enjoy going out for a meal with friends once a fortnight. So i will get a menu in advance to check what I can have over and then double check over the phone to make ¹sure no ingredients that i can't have are in the dish. If need be I'll ask the venue if they mind me going and just drinking coffee.
The same with days out and holidays.

There's no way I am missing out on socialising with family and friends.

No, that's not normal to be telling you how things are going to be in a relationship. Sounds like the start of something sinister. If he never wants to go out and eat, then he can always cook for the both of you or make up for it by buying you something to eat on a date while he eats at home pre-date.

Is it genuinely something to do with his diet or is he just being a cheap arse?

Are you able to read past the very first post?

He’s either having you on (surely it’s a joke?) or he definitely has some issues he needs to work on. Probably a reason he was single… throw him back either way.

This thread is a work of art. Modern-day Adrian Mole (despondency, odd habits, absolute lack of self-awareness)/Pandora Braithwaite (middle class cupboards) melancholy romance.

It's almost like nobody on here has ever heard of self catering.. renting holiday homes. . with kitchens!!?

What like being in a home from home?

So you can’t be more than two hours away from that, even when on holiday?

What woopie do break that would be!

A lot of shallow people on here. It's his preference, don't damn him for it. But if you love dining out, then maybe look elsewhere.
I suppose it depends how much you are into him.

We’re coming to the end of a 2 week self catering holiday and it’s been lovely, so much better than the shit 3 weeks we spent abroad having to spend a fortune eating out.

Don't be so rude

Vegans impose their choices on everyone else.

Don't tar all vegans with the same brush please.

You get though that most people who go on a self catering holiday will actually eat some of their meals out too? I would think it’s pretty rare that all the meals you eat on holiday are eaten in your SC accommodation. Even if it’s just fish and chips on the beach.

Shallow? How so?

Presume you're speaking to yourself there, and how rude you were to OP.
You posted 2 days after the thread started, when it was 800+ posts long and the only thing you can say (while quoting the OP 🙄) is "are you asking a question?"
The OP has been very engaging on the thread and has provided lots of detail - try reading past the first post in future!

Well all those comments weren't there when I posted mine. I wasn't sure whether she was questioning whether to finish with him or if she wanted suggestions going forward.

He sounds more like Jim from Friday Night Dinners..

Of course they were (if you'd bothered to read them!) The OP posted 49 times before your "question" - but you stick to your ridiculous story 🙄

All those comments weren’t there

Oh those pesky Mumsnetters hiding the comments that they wrote two days ago 🤣

Thats really funny, thanks 😂.

In fairness mumsnet hq creating a pagefree endless thread scroll made it very difficult to see what was where. It's entirely possible this poster couldn't see all the other posts in the right order.

Maybe not. But do you really think they could only see one post, posted 2 days earlier, and none of the 800+ posts since?