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Original poster

New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

915 replies

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:43

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

OP posts:
Bluedenimdoglover · 14/03/2025 14:35

If you don't see the relationship going anywhere, why have you posted?

HMW19061 · 14/03/2025 14:36

You need to decide whether this is a deal breaker for you. If you want to be able to eat out with your bf/potential life partner then end it now.

I personally would end it as not being able to spontaneously go out for lunch/dinner would be a deal breaker for me.

Paganpentacle · 14/03/2025 14:38

Right.
He wont eat out, ever.
Wont go on holidays.
Doesn't have a car.
What an absolute catch.....chuck him back.

ChopstickNovice · 14/03/2025 14:41

Oh no. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. No meals out, no bbq, no takeaways....

Oxforddictionary12 · 14/03/2025 14:42

Gawd how blomin boring. I could understand if he had a severe allergy? But that's not the case here.
Everyone has preferences but his inability to compromise for anything/anyone is a bit of a red flag.
I think you can do better. Life with this person seems absolutley dreary. Yes, he can have food boundaries but you can choose whether or not you want to live with them.

AlmostCutMyHairToday · 14/03/2025 14:52

I dated someone like this for 2 yrs (I was v young and didn't know better). It was VERY boring. Looking back, he was definitely not well in the head. He barely left the house, and believed in all the conspiracy theories including lizard people. He did have a great sense of humour but that in no way balanced out the crazy.

Mush62 · 14/03/2025 15:00

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:43

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

I totally agree.

Twinkletoes127 · 14/03/2025 15:05

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 12/03/2025 22:46

That on its own wouldn't bother me toooo much. You can have non eating dates!

Yes, not you can't have non eating holidays, family meals etc

Shannon300976 · 14/03/2025 15:05

I think if you are thinking you should tell him that you can't see the relationship going anywhere you are answering your own question. Relationships should have a certain amount of compromise and give and take but if he is completely unwilling to do something as normal and social as going out for a meal from day one and it's something you really enjoy, I can see alot more of this non comprising behaviour in the future. If you want someone to go out with you for a meal, find someone more in line with what you enjoy doing.

NattyStork · 14/03/2025 15:15

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

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God, he sounds exhausting..

LimeGoose · 14/03/2025 15:16

dovetail22uk · 13/03/2025 15:18

Being in Antifa is a GOOD thing! It literally means "anti-fascist".

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Antifa were classified as a domestic terrorist organisation by US homeland security years ago. They’ve been responsible for violence, looting and, ironically, behave as fascistically as the right wing groups they oppose. I would be very wary of getting involved with an antifa member.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/03/2025 15:19

JFDIYOLO · 13/03/2025 13:05

Sits in the dark and is afraid of sunlight.

Always wears black.

Terrified of food being contaminated by animal products.

When he first came round did he stand on the doorstep and wait to be formally invited in?

Because I think what you have here is a reformed vampire who is trying not to fall off the wagon.

One sniff of a bacon sarnie and that's it - fangs at midnight.

I could probably get past everything else if he looked like Eric from True Blood...

telestrations · 14/03/2025 15:29

Tell him that his CCTV is a violation of other peoples privacy and a contribution to the police state!

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 14/03/2025 15:38

Did you tell him about the Fosters yet?

AInightingale · 14/03/2025 15:40

Veganism is not a religious vow like lifelong celibacy! Every vegan is going to eat a bit of dairy inadvertently once in a while. Or out of politeness (if an elderly person makes them a cup of tea, etc). He sounds obsessive and inflexible and completely divorced from reality.

GripeOfTheDay · 14/03/2025 15:51

Thow him back into the sea, quick.... let someone more suited, nab him.

Next time, check out similar interests and watch for the icks, before getting too involved...

Violetpuffin · 14/03/2025 15:57

Bin him. It’ll kill all the joy in your life if you stick around with Mr Cold Tofu Sandwich.

AiryFairy1 · 14/03/2025 16:00

lol at this thread Grin

DH and my dates are almost exclusively eating dates.

He sounds very tiresome and will hopefully rethink his life choices after you’ve dumped his @ss

Nanny0gg · 14/03/2025 16:05

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

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What does he like?

Where have you been with him so far?

Original poster
Beautifulbouquet · 14/03/2025 16:05

Awww you're all making me laugh again. I'm meeting him in 30 mins.

I can't promise to tell him about the Foster's. I imagine it was vegan at one point and he doesn't know. So I don't want to upset him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beautifulbouquet · 14/03/2025 16:11

Flyonthewall01 · 14/03/2025 14:09

There’s two reasons really, in production planning you schedule the lighter tasting beers and vegan products first. So every week you’d have a planned clean of 12hours where everything is cleaned out using caustic, then when the production line comes back up into action you plan for the least strong flavoured, vegan beer first then the other vegan ones in order of flavour strength and then you move onto the non vegan ones. Typically ending the week on the strongest flavoured one.
Things might happen where you need to switch to another beer that isn’t as strong in flavour in which case you’d have to schedule a short clean in which would only take a couple of hours but if you need to switch back to a vegan product it’s another 8hour clean.
so to ensure you keep the production line producing as much as possible without stopping for cleans you try to stick to the above sequence.

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This is a truly educational thread.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 14/03/2025 16:11

SlimeSuspect · 13/03/2025 09:44

My fella has an insane list of food intolerances, and some potentially fatal allergies. The list of things he can eat has gradually dwindled over the years. If he deviates from this, the consequences can range between chronic eczema to anaphylactic shock. We never eat out, and it’s just something I’ve had to accept. It wouldn’t stop me wanting to be with him though… I just go off and eat out with my friends instead. There can be far worse things in a relationship than not being able to eat out!

Or go to the cinema? Or a beach holiday? Or do a pub quiz?
Wear different clothes ever?

He doesn't seem to have one redeeming quality

BexAubs20 · 14/03/2025 16:12

I call BS I recon he just dosent want to pay to take you for food.

Marmunia10667 · 14/03/2025 16:17

OP, are you sure he doesn't suffer from panic attacks? I used to have attacks when 'trapped' for example in a cinema, and I also could not eat out as I always thought I would be sick. The veganism may be used as a cover.

Nanny0gg · 14/03/2025 16:22

Beautifulbouquet · 14/03/2025 00:01

He's said it before. Often.

I don't dump people by text. I don't think it's a great thing to do when you can meet and give time to a proper conversation.

I am fading things out so it's less of a shock and I don't want a drawn out conversation but please I'm not interested in dumping people by text, blocking people you've slept with and had good times with etc

This is a real person with real feelings and although it has been good to vent some frustrations I don't think eating a tofu sandwich or having a restaurant phobia is any reason for me to abandon my values of respect and compassion

You've been with him 6 WEEKS???