New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

[Beautifulbouquet]

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

Just wanted to say, I think your way of organizing your cooking ingredients is GENIUS! I think I want to do it that way too, makes so much sense.😁

It's not finding the vegan restaurant options that are the issue, it's finding supermarket tofu to bring back and eat in your room.

Thank you!! It saves so much time trying to find things...plus seems to stop stuff getting forgotten about and gives me meal ideas.

I can't think of a downside to it. There are only three ...Japanese, Italian and Indian as that's what I cook most often.

Just feels like negging him harping on about it all the time

Can't think of a downside?? How about the RACISM??

It's a brilliant idea, my spice/ pastes cupboard is a mess! Wish you could come round and organise my stuff! It's so easy to forget what you have. And your bloke is a dick.
' Racism'? I've never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life...

@Beautifulbouquet

Tofu is not meant to be eaten straight out of the packet. It's plain without anything on it. You need to give it flavour. How weird.

Smoked or marinated could be passable in an emergency I guess?

Mine are Turkish Indian and Italian😀 makes life so much easier

Oh op...this really made me laugh. You sound good fun...give this guy a swerve and find someone more suited to you.

You want to be kind to this man? Don’t go for the fizzle option. Be entirely specific and end it with grace. If he is as divergent as suspected he won’t get the slow fade at all.

I have been on long haul flights & I have ordered vegan food

The best vegan meal I have ever eaten was in Vietnam in a vegan restaurant. The Ingredients were so fresh ! Multiple small courses. The meal was like theatre.

I am actually vegetarian, but I eat lots of vegan food.

As someone else said, there are always stir fried vegetables, curries, fresh fruit.

This guy has too many food & non food restrictions

Move on !

🤣🤣🤣💀

I'm another one who dated an ASD man (who didn't know he was ASD, he thought his behaviour was normal and right and the rest of the entire world was wrong) and it has scarred me forever. He was a lovely lovely man within his capabilities, but the narrow rigidity of his life (which, again, he thought was completely normal) was not something I could put up with.

He's texted me he loved me about two hours ago

I don't know what to say

I'll meet up with him face to face. I'm not a dump and block kind of person unless someone has behaved awfully, which he hadn't. We're just incompatible.

How long have you been dating him, OP? The fact he's texted you something so important is frankly odd in itself. Certainly not a texting thing.

And tbh, if he can text something like that then I don't see why you can't break up via text, either. He obviously thinks it's a fine way to communicate important things!

He's said it before. Often.

I don't dump people by text. I don't think it's a great thing to do when you can meet and give time to a proper conversation.

I am fading things out so it's less of a shock and I don't want a drawn out conversation but please I'm not interested in dumping people by text, blocking people you've slept with and had good times with etc

This is a real person with real feelings and although it has been good to vent some frustrations I don't think eating a tofu sandwich or having a restaurant phobia is any reason for me to abandon my values of respect and compassion

Fair enough, OP, we're all different. I think the calling you racist over your cupboard organisation would have been enough to have me not caring much about how he felt, that's super insulting. But if this is more comfortable for you, then it's best to stick with what you think right if it'll make you feel guilty to do otherwise.

I agree. I also think you need to drop the bombshell about him consuming animal products via alcohol. Perhaps wait until you have collected your belongings before the shock news is communicated 🙏

"Fading things out so it's less of a shock" isn't respectful or compassionate. It is, frankly, cowardly.

And patronising - it’s never pleasant being dumped, but give him the respect of assuming that he’ll cope. No indepth discussion required, just honesty.

@sidebirds "I also think you need to drop the bombshell about him consuming animal products via alcohol "

They do actually sell vegan wines and beers !

Vegans oh dear...

Nothing wrong with vegans - mixed bananas are actually vegan btw !

Well he sounds fun. Not.

Just call him and say you two aren’t compatible and it’s not working for you. Don’t need to see him face-to-face.

Also remember being too nice won’t get you far in life. I say that cause I do that a lot and sometimes wish I could be more direct with people but in your situation I can’t believe how much patience you’ve. He would’ve given me massive ICK by now where dump text and block would be done with zero regrets 😂