New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

[Beautifulbouquet]

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

From my hugely limited knowledge of your situation, it sounds like you're doing the right thing. If things are so complicated and difficult already it can only get worse. The "calling food racist" is completely bonkers though!

I hope you find someone normal who will love to take you out for dinner and will even open their blinds! xx

My ASD ex was like this. Wouldn't eat anything I'd cooked because my food hygeine (perfectly fine, by the way) wasn't up to her standards. Ditto anything my Mum cooked-she'd offer to do the cooking under the guise of being nice but although it was appreciated, it wasn't for that reason. It was because she'd not eat anything others had made.

But! She'd happily order from the dodgiest 1star takeaway in town and get a greasy pizza. Not a problem. I did educate her on how rice was cooked and how supermarket goods are stored etc etc-again no problem, would eat at the local greasy spoon, anything. But home cooked-nope.

I hope you keep that wok FAR away from your English deep fat fryer and your native frying pans.

I genuinely want to know this too!

I'd hate him to see in my cupboards, the indian stuff is on the bottom shelf of the cupboard round the corner, just beneath the Chinese stuff. The more traditional European stuff is all on hand and there is a drawer full of it. I hadn't even thought it could have been racist but obviously brown sauce matters.

@Beautifulbouquet he sounds like a genuine nut job! you would be well rid of him!

OP answered at 10.46 this morning to say he's affectionate and generous.

Thank you! I missed that! Well, that's something I guess. She'd just have to tell him to refrain from the soggy tofu on cheap bread sandwich until after fornication happens.

Bloody hell. One of the true joys of life is a meal out for me!
This isn't just because he is a vegan. This is because he is a weirdo.

It's like 'out of sight, out of mind' isn't it? People are strange.

All my cast iron cook ware is black 😳

Why wish for things to fizzle out, OP? Why not just take control and leave him?

You are quite clearly not attracted to his personality, and I don't blame you!

She said she had to collect her belongings from his house, so that might be why she hasn't just binned and blocked?

Because we've been dating a really short while ..I don't need to leave him. I can just pass on any opportunities to drink beer with him and not offer to cook for him again.

I don't want a deep conversation when it's not warranted. We dated for a while...it fizzled out.

Plus I'd like to get my stuff from his without it being tense, awkward and resentful.

I've just realised-mine is too! AND I have a brown slow cooker books oneself onto a diversity awareness course immediately

Sorry, I know I am being silly now. I am in the middle of an incredibly boring work-related task!

Go on then, tell us why you think Antifa are bad?

The violence.

How depressing to be so tight and suspicious of everything.

How else would women have got the vote if it wasn't for the suffragettes committing arson, bombings of infrastructure (without harming people), and other forms of direct action because peaceful methods had largely been ignored? They were met with brutal state violence—beaten, imprisoned, and force-fed during hunger strikes. Similarly, resistance movements against fascist regimes in the 20th century had to use force because those in power would not relinquish control voluntarily. Is one kind of violence okay but another not?

Won't he notice when you take your toothbrush home?

Supermarkets must be racist then because they put each separate cuisine together too.

He’ll be saying cooking ‘foreign’ food is cultural appropriation next.

This is just an excuse, loads of vegan options and vegan only restaurants, the UK is very good with dietary and allergy restrictions. I know lots of vegans (and have followed a vegan diet in the past myself) and it doesn’t prevent anyone eating out nowadays.

The pantry segragation reminds me of that poor poster who was accused of racism because she organised her washing powder for whites and powder for colours into discrete labelled jars.

It's practicality and sensible organisation to the majority of us, laundry apartheid to a weird minority.

Just think how much material OP now has for those threads about the weird boyfriends that pop up every so often...

Loads of vegan options in Marrakech!