New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

[Beautifulbouquet]

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

This question comes up regularly on threads about fussy eaters and I never really understand why.

I have ARFID which means I'm a very fussy eater. I can't help it, I basically have a phobia of food.

However, I'm very adventurous in all other aspects of my life. Including in my relationships. Just because I don't enjoy food doesn't mean I don't enjoy life.

Yes he is in Antifa...I just thought he was anti racism and anti fascism?? I will Google it.

It sound like his veganism is related to control issues, which isn't that unusual.

I couldn't be with a vegan or anyone who was a fussy eater. Beige flags.

Adventurous eating is one of life's great joys, as is travelling.

This man will have you cabinned, cribbed and confined - ie so restricted OP . Throw him back in the pond.

Maybe there is someone of his own kind out there, who will share his tofu sandwich in the cheap hotel room over a can of Fosters.

Adventurous eating is one of life's great joys

Not for everyone. Doesn't make them boring.

Oh come on OP.

I think it’s a fair question with this guy but not because he’s a fussy eater but because of his contamination comment. I knew someone with OCD who insisted on a shower immediately after sex (which became quite offensive for my friend) - and oral sex was out of the question - just giving of course. 🙄

The "racist kitchen cupboards" is beyond the pale!

Couldn't be doing with this, too much faffiing and not much fun, plus if he is like this at the start of a relationship what will he be like as time goes on?

I wonder if many vegans worry about the 'meat' that they unknowingly consume? A small amount of some contaminants (insects etc) are permitted in, for instance, flour. Then there are the tiny aphids you occasionally unknowingly eat on salads and vegetables. These can't be avoided. It's fine to be vegan and a great thing for the environment, but people have to be realistic about it. Refusing to eat out ever is taking things too far.

I think it’s a fair question with this guy but not because he’s a fussy eater but because of his contamination comment. I knew someone with OCD who insisted on a shower immediately after sex (which became quite offensive for my friend) - and oral sex was out of the question - just giving of course. 🙄

Absolutely a fair question about this guy. But the PP was talking about fussy eaters in general and I've noticed it raised on other threads.
It's a ridiculous generalisation .

He's properly set in his ways and you will have to bend around him if you make a relationship together.

Only you know if you're willing or not.

At least he has told you early on. Whatever his reasons, you can now decide to end the relationship knowing this, or continue.

My first thought upon reading this was wondering what his view of Morrissey is, as he won't eat anywhere where meat is served.

Or he could bend round the OP if he is willing enough!

Too exhausting. Dump him you're not compatible.

I think it’s simply because some people may unfairly associate fussy eaters with lack of experimentation in other areas of their life like sex perhaps. So I don’t think it’s completely illogical although I do think it’s unfair and I’m sure it isn’t the case.

Sadly he has more hang ups than a dry cleaners - relationships aren’t meant to be so miserable! You know he’s got to go, it’s not going to improve and could get worse.
He most likely needs professional help

Vegan Beer List (UK)
This list refers to beers and lagers that you can buy in the UK. In other countries, different ingredients may be used.
Beer brandIs it vegan?
Amstel
VEGAN
Beck’s
VEGAN
Birra Moretti
VEGAN
Budweiser
VEGAN
Camden Hells
VEGAN
Carling
NOT VEGAN
Carlsberg
VEGAN
Cobra
VEGAN
Coors Light
NOT VEGAN
Corona
VEGAN
Desperados
VEGAN
Estrella Damm
VEGAN
Foster’s
NOT VEGAN
Grolsch
VEGAN
Guinness
VEGAN
Heineken
VEGAN
Kronenbourg 1664
NOT VEGAN
Miller
VEGAN
Peroni
VEGAN
Red Stripe
VEGAN
San Miguel
VEGAN
Skol
VEGAN
Sol
VEGAN
Stella Artois
VEGAN
Tiger Beer
VEGAN

Vegans and antifa used to be against multinational corporations, what changed?

I knew someone like this. I don't think he was motivated by animal welfare as he wasn't a very nice person, it was more of a disgust of animal products and animals in general, and a need for control. He was extremely obsessive about it, I think he probably would have met the criteria for OCD. Certainly not something I'd want to have to deal with.

Oh my goodness!! He conforms to every cliche in the book 🤯 Next thing you will find that he aggressively protests Let Women Speak events!!

You misunderstood me - I enjoyed the gay reference! Anyway, this is possibly the most interesting thread I have ever seen on MN. Hope you manage to sort the situation out to your satisfaction 🙏

As a vegan myself, yanbu. There are very strict vegan places which wouldn’t allow contamination anyway so he could easy find some to enjoy with you.

I think he has some mental health issues. This is seeping into all aspects of his life it seems, not just eating out.

I'd have thought you were a close friend of mine if you hadn't said he was vegan. My friend (she's in her 60s, he's about 70) has been with this bloke for about 14 years now. He will not eat out, will not go to the cinema, theatre or anywhere other than 'for a walk' (free activities, basically), has agreed to a small number of UK cottage holidays in very recent years but about once a year only.

She does ALL the cooking, cleaning, etc.

I'd rather be on my own.