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Original poster

New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

915 replies

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:43

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

OP posts:
Bodumb · 13/03/2025 06:55

Big cock? 😀

Sal17690 · 13/03/2025 06:56

You're allowed to not pursue / end a relationship for any reason you like.

this would absolutely be a non-starter for me.

Teateaandmoretea · 13/03/2025 06:57

beAsensible1 · 13/03/2025 06:41

can he not go to a vegan restaurant? There are loads

Its probably because he’s tight as well as vegan

Damnloginpopup · 13/03/2025 06:58

Huckyfell · 13/03/2025 06:38

A fussy vegan, surely he can find a vegan girl to save spoiling another couple.
You'll find another better.

What if they breed more vegans though?

FortyElephants · 13/03/2025 07:00

To be fair he may not know about fosters. I didn't know about beer and wine not being suitable for vegetarians until I was very old.

However, anyone who can eat a plain tofu sandwich has an eating disorder or major food issues. I don't mean to sound facetious but that's such a disgusting flavourless 'meal' that it indicates a level of obsession about food being 'clean and pure' way above being enjoyable or satisfying. Maybe it's a form of orthorexia. It's way too much of an issue for you to deal with.

MummaMummaMumma · 13/03/2025 07:01

He sounds great fun.
Imagine how much more fun he will be if you ever have kids together!

beAsensible1 · 13/03/2025 07:02

Teateaandmoretea · 13/03/2025 06:57

Its probably because he’s tight as well as vegan

Show quote history

Has to be. The most ridiculous excuse I’ve heard.

Olive567 · 13/03/2025 07:03

Sounds like your life would become smaller and shrink being with him - not good. A partner should enhance your life.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 13/03/2025 07:04

I have ARFID and therefore have a very restricted diet but I will still eat out as I enjoy the social side of a meal with family and friends.

It's not the fact he's vegan, it's the unwillingness to compromise.

BarbieGirl2025 · 13/03/2025 07:07

Adult fussy eaters actually make me cringe, this will never get any better. Dump him and find a nice man who will take you out for a steak 😋 😋

Snoopdoggydog123 · 13/03/2025 07:09

Stirabout · 12/03/2025 23:50

There aren’t many vegetarians or vegans that would either buy or cook meat.
Speaking as a veggie since 1980.

Maybe they are vegan for health reasons but anyone who does it for the love of animals would never cook them , it’s not exactly showing love.

Its very rare.

Agree entirely with the first line though, but lots of people make those sort of sweeping ridiculous comments …..

Show quote history

I know many.
My mum being one.
A Vegitarian since 15 she had me and my sister mid 20s and raised us eating meat. She cooks for me even now she's a vegan.

She's a vegan because of animal welfare but believes that her choices shouldn't impact others. She doesnt even let us tell the kids as she doesn't want to influence them.

My sister turned vegetarian I didn't.
She has no views on either as long as we're healthy.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 13/03/2025 07:10

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

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It's all about him and his requirements isn't it? How old is he that he is so unadventurous?

Strictlymad · 13/03/2025 07:24

Tbh I don’t like eating out and I’m not a huge fan of holidays, but I understand they are part of normal life that many enjoy and so I do it anyway and to please those I’m with including dh and dc so the fact he won’t bend for you speaks volumes

butterpuffed · 13/03/2025 07:27

He did once bring a potato and six tomatoes to my house.

Did he make them last a week , like MNers with a chicken ?

Huckyfell · 13/03/2025 07:27

Damnloginpopup · 13/03/2025 06:58

What if they breed more vegans though?

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I don't think they are allowed to breed, 1. They aren't allowed meat. 2. They aren't allowed milk.

AirborneElephant · 13/03/2025 07:31

He doesn’t sound like a great catch, way too much like hard work. And food and going out for nice meals ect is a really important part of a relationship in my world, it lasts a lot longer than that initial lust phase! so it would be a no from me.

soarklyknobs · 13/03/2025 07:35

Boooooorriiiiinnngggg.

Don't spend your life being bored, it's too precious.

Bestfootforward11 · 13/03/2025 07:35

Each to their own but I think I’d find that really difficult. Seems like he is perhaps expecting you to adapt to him completely rather than any option of compromise. He is entitled to do things his way but you are also entitled to choose what you want in a partner.

piscofrisco · 13/03/2025 07:35

I mean what a mean and miserable life you would have if you could never go out, ever, for dinner or lunch.

MakkaPakkasCave · 13/03/2025 07:35

Why you should dump him:

  1. he won’t eat out
  2. he’s vegan
Next!
FigTreeInEurope · 13/03/2025 07:36

Agix · 13/03/2025 06:17

I have an eating disorder and cannot eat out at all. The responses in this thread are awful. It's like when you don't drink, and people try to shame you into forcing alcohol on you. The same as in... Why? Why do I have to eat somewhere else? Why does he? Why do we have to get takeaways? Whether he has an eating disorder or not... Why? Why do you have to make us?

OP can be told to break up with him without everyone being a bully about it. But people need to bully about it... why?

Just because I don't eat out doesn't mean no one else can. No one has to hang out or be with me, or OPs partner. Thankfully, my partner is very sweet and cool about it all, and never makes me eat out or get takeaways that I do not want. He can do what he likes (but he ends up eating healthier with me as a result, really).

It's so, so weird how people need to force you to eat out or get takeaways when socialising.. Like they can't socialise or have a good time without stuffing their faces, and needing everyone to join in. And being a bully if they don't / can't.

Edited

Never ever move to Italy.

Cocktailsandcheese · 13/03/2025 07:37

A cold tofu sandwich?! 🤢😂Crikey. I couldn't be in a relationship where we never eat out, it my favourite thing to do!

AgnesX · 13/03/2025 07:38

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

Show quote history

He sounds utterly miserable. Cut your losses before you invest too much emotionally.

Ps miserable because it's negative all about what he won't do rather than what he will.

midlifeattheoasis · 13/03/2025 07:39

Oh wow. He sounds absolutely joyless. Your life with him would also be joyless.

thepariscrimefiles · 13/03/2025 07:40

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:49

We stayed in a hotel for a night. He brought some bread and a packet of tofu and ate that for dinner (yes a cold tofu sandwich). At breakfast he said he wasn't hungry. Only yesterday he said that actually he never eats out.

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He sounds like a weirdo OP. Vegans can eat out and are catered for in most restaurants. He sounds paranoid and you would have a pretty joyless existence in a relationship with him.