DP wants to end relationship over misunderstanding with waitress

[Butterfly75756]

Went out for a meal with DP and all was going well. That was, until the mains arrived, and DP was adamant he had ordered his meal without mushrooms, yet his food had arrived containing them. A bit of a back and forth started between him and the waitress, who was saying DP definitely didn't ask for no mushrooms.

DP then turns to me and says something along the lines of, "Tell her I ordered no mushrooms". I immediately felt embarrassed and mumbled, "I can't remember". I hate confrontation and I genuinely couldn't remember.

The waitress eventually took the food back to go and fix the apparent mistake and DP was absolutely fuming saying even if I couldn't remember, I should have lied and said that I did and he kept repeating "Don't you know I don't like mushrooms?" After about 20 mins of being in a strop, he said that he would now have to reconsider the relationship as he doesn't want to be with someone who 'doesn't have his back'

Like the emotional wreck that I am, I began crying at the table and he told me to stop because I was embarrassing him.

So my question is, was I wrong to say I couldn't remember or should I have lied?

he doesn’t sound like he’s a big tipper

He sounds like a pig. You'd be much better off without him by the sounds of it so I'd tell him you've decided he's right, the relationship is over and you don't want to be with someone who's so nasty. Walk away and hold your head up high, you deserve better 💐

You feel like shit because you’re in a relationship with a truly substandard man, and one who has real potential to be abusive.

So many icks here.

1. rude to wait staff
2. a giant stroppy baby about mushrooms, grow up and eat round them
3. threatening to break up with you is emotionally abusive
4. being embarrassed you were upset instead of concerned

Bin him off. He’s sucks so bad.

seems you have had lots of worthwhile answers with advice.

If I could live my life backwards, I should have left at this point similar point that you are now at.

Yeah, you're not wrong. I'd hope she would rely on a sympathy tip from OP!

That sounds really miserable and uncomfortable for you @Butterfly75756 Sending a hug x.

He sounds like a real arse. How dare he speak to you or the waitress like that?

Have you been together long? I hope you haven’t and can easily walk away from him. I remember crying at the National History museum in New York when an arsehole of an ex was vile when we were on holiday.

I really hope you’re ok and find the inner oomph to tell him to stick it.

Sorry but you don't know if he likes mushrooms? You describe him as your partner. Clearly he's not.

irrespective he's a dick...there's no need to be rude. You calmly say "I asked for no mushroom".

how can you not remember ? Your just being nice, he didn't ask for it, you would have remembered.

Whether he forgot to ask for no mushrooms or the waitress misheard, he didn't have to argue with her. He can simply ask for it to be remade without mushrooms. Was the issue that he'd have to pay again if it was "his" mistake rather than her not hearing or forgetting between table and kitchen he didn't want mushrooms, so he was arguing it was her fault not his?
Either way he should absolutely not have dragged you into it, especially if he knows you hate confrontation and would be made uncomfortable being put on the spot like that. After he did, your response that you honestly couldn't remember was fair enough, he definitely shouldn't have turned on you for telling the truth, nor expected you to lie for him.
As for shouting at you for crying because you were embarrassing him, what a bloody hypocrite, he'd just massively embarrassed you and made you really uncomfortable.

100 percent dump! Why would you want to be with a liar, who expects you to lie? He could have got this poor lady fired, and with a bad reference! He's a nightmare.

I despise mushrooms. But I despise emotionally abusive twats a lot more.

He probably insists on paying so he can feel manly.

And demand repayment in kind later.

(I may now be thinking about my own past shitheads 😂)

This isn't even about you!

Fucking "triggering" 🙄

I can see that this excellent reply has already been quoted but it deserves it again.

Never, never, never stay involved with a man who treats people in ’serving’ roles like this. It’s one of the biggest red flags I can think of. He’s a massive, massive wanker. It’s a waitress now; it’ll be you before you know it. Get out now.

You deserve so much better.

I would have walked out the minute he started his "hard man" talk to the server. I would not be embarrassed like that in front of anyone by another person no matter who it is/was.

I think he has you just where he wants you, and probably makes your life a bit of a misery quite often. Is that true I wonder?

Only you can decide how to proceed. But he can dine alone at home and out and about for the foreseeable until you make your mind up. What do YOU want to do?

Shithead men in restaurants could be a mega thread of the century! 🤣🫤

DUMP!

Horrible to waitress
wanted you to lie
threatening to end relationship over this !

i bet you have lots of examples of him being aggressive and mean to others and to you

"he would now have to reconsider the relationship as he doesn't want to be with someone who 'doesn't have his back'"

or

""he would now have to reconsider the relationship as he doesn't want to be with someone who knows he doesn't like mushrooms, but won't support him"

Jesus, OP, he's an utter prick. Makes for the best story ever over why someone dumped you, though 🤣

Seriously, I remember my now exH, embarrassing me in a restaurant. That was actually the very start of the rearing of his narcissistic tendencies. I was too young and naive to realise at the time. Many more incidents happened over the years. It didn't end well.

Oh god. Don’t. I once went out with someone so pompous they insisted on changing my drinks order to better suit my meal.

I’m allergic to something in some white wines so avoid them, but if I was having fish he’d tell the waitress to swap my red for a white because it was ‘correct’.

He was always polite to them, though!

WTF? Do people make this stuff up to get everyone all frothy and livid???

I’m assuming you’ve met other humans before OP? So you’ll know this is NOT NORMAL behaviour and you’ll end the relationship.

I know I’m being cynical but if this isn’t rage bait, well…

I bet he has a small appendage.

Do you live together?

Like a button mushroom

He is an arse. Do yourself a huge favour and dump him.