DP wants to end relationship over misunderstanding with waitress

[Butterfly75756]

Went out for a meal with DP and all was going well. That was, until the mains arrived, and DP was adamant he had ordered his meal without mushrooms, yet his food had arrived containing them. A bit of a back and forth started between him and the waitress, who was saying DP definitely didn't ask for no mushrooms.

DP then turns to me and says something along the lines of, "Tell her I ordered no mushrooms". I immediately felt embarrassed and mumbled, "I can't remember". I hate confrontation and I genuinely couldn't remember.

The waitress eventually took the food back to go and fix the apparent mistake and DP was absolutely fuming saying even if I couldn't remember, I should have lied and said that I did and he kept repeating "Don't you know I don't like mushrooms?" After about 20 mins of being in a strop, he said that he would now have to reconsider the relationship as he doesn't want to be with someone who 'doesn't have his back'

Like the emotional wreck that I am, I began crying at the table and he told me to stop because I was embarrassing him.

So my question is, was I wrong to say I couldn't remember or should I have lied?

Nah. Restaurants have such small margins these days, throwing away an entire meal shouldn’t be done lightly. It might even come out of the waitresses’ wages, which could easily be over an hour at NMW.

Plus (and I’m obviously just imagining here), I bet he was a rude div the whole time and the waitress didn’t want to acquiesce to his twattery.

Please let him do you a huge favour and finish the relationship

Op I was in a cafe last week, couple came in they were in their fifties. He started sulking because he didn’t get served quickly enough , she was begging him not to be awful and saying don’t spoil it we never go out. He then wouldn’t order anything and was rude to the waitress. She was eating with him sitting there sulking with his little man bag ( not a euphemism ) strapped round him.

I bet she wished she’d run a mile the first time he was a sulky abusive twat.

Bin the twat, keep the mushrooms

Sounds like someone who is looking for an out .., or is this a pattern for him to try and make you feel like shit because you didn't read his mind and didn't do exactly what he wanted you to do when he wanted you to do it?

You’re not an emotional wreck, you just didn’t want to be shouted at for something that’s not your fault or problem.

I have my partners back but it doesn’t mean I lie for him.

Your DP is not a nice person, I would end things and look for someone who treats others with respect and kindness.

Wait staff should just take the dinner back not "discuss" it with the guest (been on the end of this kind of customer behaviour but you just take it back, no one has the time to argue) but you were put in a very poor position by the two of them there.

I'd let him reconsider the relationship in his own time and get on with your life. He's not the golden prize he obviously thinks he is. You certainly shouldn't have to lie for him.

If I didn't remember, I'd have done the same as you and said so. Why lie?

It's not difficult to avoid mushrooms, push them aside. Sorry, he s a twat, why would u want him?

Eugh, i wouldn't want to be with someone like that.

Thanks everyone. It has been really validating to read all your responses. I've felt like utter shit since I got home.

If ever a man needed ghosting, it's him.

If I was her I'd be concerned about the tip. If the thrown away food really does come from her wages I think that's illegal so nobody should use that restaurant ever. I agree he was mostly a dick though.

Why did he order a dish with mushrooms…

Good God OP - do yourself a favour and tell him YOU'VE decided to re-evaluate the relationship in light of his appalling behaviour - and then dump and block him. He sounds like a self-absorbed twat.

What an arse. Let him end it

I wouldn’t have mushroom for this negativity

He sounds absolutely ridiculous.

If you're crying at the table maybe have some therapy.

If I had to guess, he feels embarrassed about it and he's trying to make himself less ashamed by convincing himself that it was a conspiracy against him.

He's done you a huge favour - revealing himself as a total prick, thereby making your decision to dump him a lot easier. What a fucking baby!

Fascinating😅

The DP has behaved like an idiot and I'd dump him as I can't be dealing with that type of nonsense but I don't know why everyone is assuming the DP was correct when he said he didn't ask for no mushrooms and it was the waitress that was doing the gaslighting.

You know that saying, being rude to the waiter/waitress is a relationship red flag?

It is.

He's clearly a wanker, dump him.

It’s definitely not the same: but it is triggering. It’s not about the mushrooms or the waitress. It’s about never having my back !!!

Dump him for not liking mushrooms- that'd be about as reasonable as he was with you.

This.

It doesn’t sound like he makes your life more enjoyable.