If my dc doesn't go on the y6 residential?

[cadburyegg]

Y6 residential coming up in the next few months- 2 nights away. At the moment ds1 is adamant he doesn't want to go, as he doesn't want to be away from me. He's always been quite anxious, but has got a lot better as he's got older. He is used to staying away from me as he stays with his dad EOW but he would still rather stay with me. He has never been on a sleepover at another child's house nor had one at ours, he has no interest in doing so.

I am going to try and encourage him to go as much as I can, talk to him about the activities (which I know he would love) but I'm not going to force him. There is a lot of talk amongst other parents in the class WA group about getting their kids ready for staying away, with some other parents planning on booking hotels nearby so their child can stay with them at night then still do the activities during the day. This would be the best option for ds1 I think but I have looked and the cheapest hotel would still be £250+ which isn't really affordable when the cost of the residential is £240 as it is.

I would also need to take 3 days holiday from work which would also be tricky as that is right at the end of my leave year. And there is ds2 to consider - he'd have to stay with my mum for 3 nights which would be disruptive to him and a lot to put on my mum. Basically me staying away with him just isn't an option.

But I keep hearing all about the experience and how amazing it will be for the kids and how awful it will be for the 1/2 kids (out of the year group of 60) who stay behind and stay in a different class.

I just don't see how I can make it work. AIBU if ds1 just doesn't go, assuming he doesn't change his mind?

update for those who are interested!

My ds went from being adamant he didn’t want to go, to really wanting to go, to not wanting to go, then wanting to go but being worried about it. He did eventually go and came home telling me about all the activities he did. I thought he’d be homesick and he said he was a bit worried the first night but ok after that. One of the TAs who knows him quite well told me he did really well despite being anxious.

I gave him quite strong encouragement and told him just because he was worried, it wasn’t a reason not to go. I think he is glad he went!

Great news.
Thanks for updating.

Why on earth are there parents following their kids on a school trip? 😬

How far away is the location? If he went and genuinely hated it, would it be a nightmare to go and collect him?

I’ve been a teacher on many residentials, with children are young as y3 and genuinely I’ve never had a child actually want to be collected in all the trips I’ve been on. There have been tears at bedtime and sore tummies in the night but teachers will take care of them. And the kids usually are very good at taking care of each other too.

It’s a big step, both for him and for you. I would strongly encourage him to go and genuinely mean it when you say ‘if you hate it after the first night, I’ll come and collect you’

That sounds great OP. DD was quite worried about her year 5 residential (5 days quite far away). She has ASD, among other things. But she had said she wanted to go, we had paid for it, so I wasn't minded to let her bail. We do a lot of scaffolding her into things she finds harder, otherwise she'd opt out of everything.

She had a great time in the end and the senco was on the trip. There is no way in hell I would have stayed nearby in a hotel. That sounds like madness. She has a year 7 residential later this year and is very keen to go.

He will have a great time and will teach him that you don't avoid things you are worried about.

DC2 has been doing overnights with woodcraft since she was 6 and is extremely enthusiastic about all residential trips. So all kids are different but these trips are so so good for them.

Oh sorry I see he's been! Great he had a good time.

"...some other parents planning on booking hotels nearby so their child can stay with them at night then still do the activities during the day"

This is so OTT, good gracious. My DC would be going whether they liked it or not, unless there were real extenuating circumstances like being sick. It's good for them to be independent, and sometimes you've got to mandate that I have found

My DS went for 5 days in year 5. He was excited to go but apparantly he cried because he missed me every night. Said he never wanted to go again. Now in year 8 and he said he might consider going to Italy for residential.. He's very sensitive but I will let him decide. I think you should let your DS decide @cadburyegg and not push him in any way.

DC goes or doesn’t but parents shouldn’t be staying over near by. DS went away for 1 night in February in year 4. He loved it! But it wasn’t for every child and that’s fine

READ THE THREAD PEOPLE

OP started the thread in MARCH

She updated today to tell us HE HAS BEEN.

Totally agree. Our DC did sleepovers with grandparents from a very young age and then with friends and their aunt. They went away with brownies and cubs. Our 8 year old chose to travel to New York on her own to visit her aunt and uncle. It is parental responsibility to bring children up to be independent.

That’s great he went. I do hope no parents stayed in hotels!

Such a great update OP!! Well done to you both for pushing through ❤️xx

that’s such great news. An anxious child facing up to fears and pushing through and ending up enjoying themselves! is such a huge emotional growth, he will have gained so much from this, not just from the activities, but from the knowledge that he has the courage , the strength and the determination to face his fears and anxieties in order to do thinks that he thinks are difficult.