Stranger asked for sex.

[SoreHeadAgainnnnn]

So this was really weird!! ...

(For context, I'm late 40s, married 20yrs, two kids, two dogs, average and tired looking!)

I took my dogs out for a walk yesterday. We were walking through a field and I heard a man's voice. Looked up and there was a man on a bike (maybe late 20s/early 30s, scruffy looking (the mum in me thought 'you could do with a bath') on the adjacent path (which is just up the bank from where I was - so maybe 15 foot away or so)).

He said 'can you have sex with me?'. I thought I must have misheard so asked him to repeat what he said and he said 'can you have sex with me?' Again I thought I can't have heard right! So I said 'can I have what?' and he said 'sex' and repeated 'sex' a few times, then was quite insistent 'can we have sex??'

I told him No. No! Several times. They, in a really kid like voice he said 'pleeeeeeeeeeaase' like he was begging me for some screen time or sweets!! I said 'no. No way. Go and find yourself a girlfriend'.

Then he sounded quite annoyed and said 'why not?' in a way that made it sound like I was being unreasonable to deny him sex!!!! I said 'well for starters I'm married!' (though there were obviously MULTIPLE reasons why I would not have sex with some random stranger in a field!!!!) At that point he went on his way!

It was quite intimidating and I can't believe he just thought it was ok to ask this!!

Further along the walk, I went into some woods. I was feeling a bit worried I'd bump into him or he'd come back and rape me (catastophising I know, but anyway..) then I saw two large trowel type tools - which looked like weapons like kind of wide trowel shaped swords, really big with serrated edges, stuck down in a tree trunk'. It completely freaked me out!!

My dogs and I survived the walk !! But so many weird things have happened on that walk in the last few months, with yesterday's two incidents being the worst.

AIBU never to walk the dogs there again?

But I have nowhere else walking distance to walk them!

Also - do a anyone know what these trowel shaped weapons are? I tried to Google 'large trowel shaped weapons serrated edge' but nothing like what I saw came up! Anyone know why they might've been there? (They definitely weren't innocently left by the charitable tree planting types. These were definitely purposely put there and looked like a signal or warning or something. They also looked expensive so I kept looking around as I can't imagine the person who put them there would've been far away as they wouldn't want to loose them or get them nicked)

We have just been asked to put a message out to residents after a man approached a woman and asked her for a hug.

We are SW

I would def report it to the police..and post a warning on local social media so other dog walkers are aware. I also wouldn't be keen to walk there again :(

Years ago I had just qualified as a teacher and was living with my fiance in a basement flat. One night I heard a man wanking outside the bedroom window. I screamed to my fiancee and the man ran off. A couple of nights later he came back, pretending to be lost , and tried to talk his way in. I didn't let him in and he went away. I phoned the police and they came because other women in basement/ first floor flats had also reported the same thing . He had tried to break into some of the flats. You must report it Op. Weirdos escalate their behaviour if they are given the opportunity.

Aye you're right, it was allegedly during his time as an armed officer with the civil nuclear constabulary. My bad.

I found 'The Gift of Fear' an interesting book regarding gut instinct in dangerous situations, there have been many times I've looked back on my reactions and realised gut instinct kept me safe, but like every other women I've had inappropriate banter and unwanted touching anyway.

Flight, Fight, Freeze, Fawn sounds familiar.🙁

This was in response to Vignetta · Yesterday 19:03 .

Sorry if this has already been posted, but there’s also the “fawn” response in addition to fight, flight and freeze https://psychcentral.com/health/fawn-response I just thought it might be interesting to you and/or others

Recently I had an inappropriate proposition (not sex - but he asked me to view his form as he exercised) with some really strange 'flashing' - he was wearing low denier black tights and a thong underneath as running gear at a nature reserve. I was on my own, it was daylight and he was quite slight, young and good looking so I didn't feel too frightened - I played along for a short time and left and was safe. I did report it because I know how these things escalate - this was maybe a first foray into exhibitionism or worse and there are plenty of kids and vulnerable people in the nature reserve who did not need to see that.

The police said because I had described him as 'good-looking', I clearly wasn't scared and there was therefore no basis a crime had been committed. What the fuck.

I followed up with the police and they said if there is not significant risk or distress, they won't follow up stuff like this.

OP - I hope you are ok but for anyone else in a similar situation, when you report it - lean heavy on how how distressed/ threatened you were (even if you didn't register it in the moment - I laughed and fauned and made the mistake of telling the police this, when really I was in protection mode and didn't really realise what had happened til days later) - they need to take this seriously because escalation is next step and prevention is better than 'we'll learn lessons from this incident'.

You are safer in remote areas as, by definition, the fewer other people are around, the less likely there is to be a predator there.

You're only safer when there isn't a predator about, and you don't know for certain when that is.

Report incident to the police. This could easily escalate. I would not walk there again unless my dogs were large and attack trained!

Absolutely phone the police, I wouldn’t say worrying about being raped was catastrophising, it seems like a perfectly natural response to a scary situation.

The tools sound like digging tools, my partner uses ones that sound like these for metal detecting. They’re quite heavy and chunky.

Agreed. I am quite rural Scotland. Robert Black grabbed a wee girl from her front garden many years ago. More recently a man - Andrew Miller - grabbed and kidnapped a young lassie on a Sunday afternoon. A local oddball, he'd been known for years to be an issue then suddenly escalated. It happens everywhere.

The OP reported to the police yesterday.

I'd give it a miss for a while OP if I were you, avoid that area where you saw him.

I would never walk alone in a field or woods with or without a dog. Sadly it's individuals such as described in the OPs post that has influenced my decision. You just never know when you will be confronted by them.

@Chelsea2026 Are you saying if you were attracted to a strange man who propositioned you for sex in a field you would have obliged?

That's why I don't walk anywhere on my own , sadly.

I had this at Fleet service station by a Squadi. There were several jeep loads of them that had stopped enroute.
It completely freaked me out and I ran to my car and got out of there.
It wasn’t till I got home that I decided to phone the police. I never found out if anything happened to the guy.

In terms of walking alone in woods even with dogs it’s not something I ever do. If I’m on my own I’m simply too scared to do that. Which is sad but probably comes from being followed on several occasions in Tottenham walking home from work in the dark….On one occasion I just missed being caught up with at my front door. Had my partner put the double lock on I wouldn’t have made it inside in time.

I hate being like this and tbh wish I could carry a weapon not just for protection but also so I could live my life without fear. A walk in the woods would be amazing!

Why were you asking him 3 times to confirm, don’t engage!! After the first time just move on. Dang where is your sense of survival?

It is sad and completely wrong that we can’t protect ourselves for our right to live freely and without fear!

I replied you were being unreasonable only because you should report this to police. Hope you're OK, but sounds like you dealt with it perfectly!

I walk alone in woods when I go hiking. I have made the calculation that a) I’m now in my 50s and less of a magnet to sexual predators b) if I’m further away from roads that perps could use for a get away, and I’m harder work to get to I’m safer. I realise I could be wrong on both counts but I refuse to stop doing the things I love because of the fear of male violence.

Definitely report both.. there could be others who have rang the police .
That's concerning , dont walk around there ever again you'd be mad too .

You NEED to report this.

She HAS! Yesterday.

Absolutely.