Would you judge a 26 year old (mum of 2) who casually sleeps with someone who is 18?

[PinkieToeZ]

Would really appreciate people’s opinions on this, thank you

No I wouldn't care or judge at all, and I wouldn't feel it was anything to do with me. What two consenting adults do is up to them.

The 'casual sex' thing at any age I find a bit grim though. I just think of STDs.

Sex IS a relationship. It may not be a romantic relationship but very, very, very often leads to parenting relationship and a co-parenting relationship.

You’re talking rubbish to suit your argument. Plenty of people have casual sex and it leads to…nothing. Just casual sex. Or is that something you find uncomfortable for some reason?

You can think that if you want but I disagree and that's ok.

Sex can and does often produce pregnancies.
Sex creates emotional bonds that are unpredictable and can get messy.

These are facts whether you think I'm talking rubbish or not. When a woman has two existing children, she needs to make better decisions about when and with whom she has sex. My opinion is as valid as yours and it's my opinion that an eighteen year old is not a wise choice for a sexual partner in those circumstances.

Totally agree, weird.

Who said anything about step father? You can have great sex with someone who is in different stages of life. This is not about for ever and ever amen. Surely this is about passion?

Obviously when you have sex is important, as in children not being about. But with whom is not relevant. Two consenting adults enjoying private time is fine.

I would just hope that she’s super-careful about contraception, that’s all.

Only just an adult.

They’re fucking, not getting married!

Yes. Barely adult.

Yes, I'd judge.

And if a pregnancy occurs as a result of the fucking they may be forced into a co-parenting relationship for ever.

Or she might have a termination. I know where my money is.

She might. But lots of women don't. Far too many children are born into situations like this. ONS or FWB situations that went tits up. Guess who suffers as the parents go off and get into other ONS/FWB or long term relationships?

Yeah again, you have missed the point - I think people can like each other (including want to have sex) and be of different ages? And I don’t think that you can say well you can be friends but you must only like each other in this way not that way because I disagree with it?! And you’ve literally stated my point - yes rich older men (and women, looking at Sam Taylor Johnson) who are in a position of having something to offer groom people - yes they do! I agree. They’re predatory and no doubt have a slew of other shitty behaviour that goes with it. But that doesn’t make me believe that if Marissa the 22 year old who is at uni and working in the local fish and chip shop in her spare time falls in love with Mark the fish monger who happens to be 40, that she is too stupid and blown away by his deep connections the Grimsby docks that she can’t be clear and conscious of her feelings towards him!

and you didn’t not address the fact that you have to, surely, trust people over the age of 18(?) to be adults and choose who they sleep with unless you don’t believe they should be doing other adult stuff like raising kids or being in positions of power themselves?! How can you listen to a doctor who is 27 and take them seriously but imagine they’re too stupid to choose who to have sex with?!

Do you know what casual sex is? I don’t think you do...

Thank you for sharing your views however I have to say, some of the responses on this thread have been very bizarre.

I haven’t actually had sex with this man due to the fact that he’s 18 and morally it all seems very strange. I just wondered what other people would think hence why I posted here. But in all seriousness, why would anyone that I’m having CASUAL SEX with, meet my children? Or be a step father to my children? It’s not dating, it’s not a relationship, it’s fucking. Not sure why some people have struggled with the concept of that.

There’s also been a small minority of people that have suggested that age aside, I shouldn’t be having casual sex regardless. I’m a single mother of 2 and should be focusing on that and nothing else. God forbid a single mum wants to fuck anyone.
Gotta love Mumsnet, ey!

In all fairness you asked mumsnet AIBU, people say you’re unreasonable and you’re getting funny about it.

It’s up to you what you do with your body, as a mum to young children I would only focus on finding someone I like enough for an actual relationship rather than casual. But that’s up to you.

I do wonder what a 26 year old woman would see in a teenager but that’s your call, it’s consensual but a bit too icky for me.

I think l love you and your outlook! You go girl! Have fun, take care. If he likes you and you like him, why not! ❤️

There is never a guarantee that sex will be "casual". You can't control his feelings. You can't always control whether you get pregnant or not.

I'd think nothing of it.

Would feel a bit different if it was the bloke who was older but still not an automatic wrong un, it's a hook up not a relationship

For lots of reasons not everyone wants a relationship. But those people still have needs.

‘People say you’re unreasonable and you’re getting funny about it.’ Please show me where? A lot of people have said that they’d judge me and I still thanked them for their responses.

I simply responded to the people that have mentioned the 18 year old becoming a step father and people saying I shouldn’t have casual sex regardless. If you consider that as ‘getting funny’ then that’s you! Why would I focus on getting an ‘actual relationship’ when I don’t want one? I want to fuck and that’s all (won’t be fucking the 18 year old in question but my point still stands) Thanks!

Having worked with 18 year olds, they may legally be adults but emotionally and intellectually the vast majority are not. On that basis I would question the judgement of a 26 year old sleeping with a teenager, whether they were a parent or not.