Why are (some specifically mine) men like this?

[TakingBackSunday]

DH has gone out tonight okay fine, asked me to drop him off but forgot to tell me about the football match so spent 40 minutes in traffic with two kids ... fine whatever, he could have gotten a taxi tho 🙄

Refused to take the keys because he'd be back at 12 (been out since 5) as he knows I can't go to bed without locking the door as I don't feel safe sleeping with two kids and the door unlocked.

Hasn't messaged me since 10pm

Wonder when he'll get home .. wonder when I'll get to go to bed.

Bet he expects me to get up with them tomorrow as well

Why would anyone refuse to take keys?

I'd probably lock the door and go to bed tbh

I don't understand his reasoning for why he wouldn't take the keys. That's very strange.

Cos he'd be back at 12 and he doesn't need them I even insisting he should take them, passed them to him in the car but he didn't want them (maybe he's worried he'd lose them idk)

I can see he's just bought another drink so I don't think I'll see him anytime soon.

I'm considering locking the door and going to bed but if he knocks or rings the bell it'll wake the whole house plus the neighbours and I don't want to deal with that.

Usually been bought up by pandying mothers...

You really need to get another set of keys cut.

We have two sets of keys - he wouldn't take his - I actually don't know why but he just said he'd be back for 12 when I raised concerns about it.

It's genuinely ridiculous.

Yes. Then find doormat partners.

Seriously? You and kids have to drop him off, he then won’t take keys so he will wake you up, and then won’t get up with kids in the morning?

One of those things might be ok, but all 3??? Why is he such a self indulgent fool? I would be furious.

Have you called him to ask what the fuck he is playing at? I’d call and tell him you said 12, that’s been a gone you haven’t had the courtesy or respect to a) keep your promise b) update me. I’m going to bed, door will be locked, find somewhere else to sleep and don’t come home until you can be less of an inconsiderate arsehole

If he can’t be bothered to take a key, I would lock him out and go to bed

The only reason I can think of for not taking keys is, he's worried about losing them... but good grief, it really isn't difficult not to. I never (deliberately) leave the house without mine.

I can honestly say I don’t know any men who go out without their keys, expect someone to wait up for, or leave the front door unlocked for them till midnight, and then refuse to get up with their children in the morning. I think you picked out a dud.

He's actually not that bad.

I'm just pissed off and tired, he won't get up with the kids cos he'll be hung over, tired whatever and if he does get up with them he'll just be miserable and probably fall asleep watching them so it's better I get up but it's just really frustrating and it could have been solved if he either took the keys when I gave them to him or come home at 12 like agreed.

Why doesn't he have keys in the first place?

This whole thing sounds weird

I've literally explained in the thread, I offered them him and he said no, he'd be back at 12 so doesn't need them - I'm guessing cos he didn't want to lose them.

I don't even know myself tbh, I did question it but he'd be back at 12 so it's fine 🙄

Get a keysafe.

To answer your actual question I don’t know any men who would go out without their keys, in general I find it’s a bloke thing that they always have a big bunch of keys that they insist on carting around. I also don’t know anyone who would leave their door unlocked in the evening up til midnight, so does he expect to ring the doorbell or phone you from outside for you to go and let him in like his mum did when he was a kid. If he thinks he’ll lose a key put it on a string round his neck. Too late for this time but in future I’d be making it very clear that he took his key and was quiet when he came in or he would find himself locked out if he wasn’t home by the agreed time, I would expect to abide by this agreement myself as well fairs fair.

Hi, if you’re still awake and he’s not back yet, can u not lock the door and leave the key in the letterbox?

I got a notification that an Ubers been booked so he's on his way back then I can get some sleep before little one wakes up.

Key safe might be a good idea but you're right next time he takes keys or I'm locking up at the time he'd say he'd be home 😴

He refuses to either take his keys like a responsible adult or return home well before my bedtime? I wouldn't accept this level of selfishness. I'd also find it extremely pathetic unattractive that someone couldn't trust themselves not to get so shit-faced that keeping track of a key would be a problem!

Even when he said he'd be back at 12, I'd reply 'well I'll be in bed by then so you won't be able to get in you fool...'

If he then thinks its ok to wake you up rather than just take the keys like a normal person, then he's bloody weird. Go to bed, put a pair of ear plugs in, let him kick off when he can't get it in. Maybe he'll learn his lesson.

What a thoughtless, selfish man. Tell him he won't be allowed to go out another time if this is going to happen. Seriously though, get that keysafe.

He sounds a fucking idiot
Hide his keys outside under plant pot or something and lock yourselves in, job done.

You can lock up at the time he says he'll be home but he'll still come home pissed like you said and wake the whole house plus neighbours so still lose lose for you.