Partner Freaked Out By Women Who Fart/Poo (so yes, all women)

[ThatNavyGoose]

Basically the title - I have been with my partner for almost 8 years and he is a wonderful partner and Dad to our children. BUT - he has never farted in front of me and I have never DARED to fart in front of him. I have never heard him fart even once. He is completely freaked out by the concept that women fart/poo. I pooped a lot in labour with our baby and he pretended like it never happened and has never once acknowledged it. He says he feels this way because of how he was brought up - his parents were exceptionally strict about farting/burping and he used to get in lots of trouble for it, so he finds it really rude/disrespectful and it freaks him out. Our sister in law burps all the time and he will literally get up and leave the room because he can’t stand it. I don’t WANT to fart in front of him particularly but I still worry about one slipping out because he’d be totally disgusted and I’d be mortified. Is it unreasonable to think that after 8 years together he would have relaxed a bit?!

What will happen as you both age sometimes people have less control with this sort of thing.When you're very old some people become incontinent.We all hope we don't and are doing exercises against it but...

What do you mean by protect him? Should OP continue with the charade that women don't fart or poo?

I'm incredibly hung up about this sort of thing but I also recognise that it isn't healthy at all and am pleased that my kids and grandkids don't feel the same way.

Is he a human being?
Very unfortunately, and a tiny bit of me acknowledges him, human beings fart and poo.
Sad, but could be worse.
😆

I wonder why too.

I can’t stick the burping it’s just ignorant and sometimes I’ve found attention seeking .
Farting —- I even hate the word . Why would anyone do this in public it so annoys me that it would be acceptable to make anyone suffer the smell .
As for pooing well isn’t it nicer to use the toilet , make the room fresh again and not talk about it.

Why does it have to be shared or spoken about???
Basic manners if you ask me .

There is a bathroom . For “farting” and pooing in .
He doesn’t what to smell it or talk about it. .
why would he ???

I farted in front of my 26yr old DS when he came to visit at the weekend. First time ever, I was mortified! He pretended it didn't happen.

Not wanting to smell it or talk about it is very different from being completely freaked out that women fart and poo.

It doesn't have to be a topic of conversation but OP shouldn't be worried in case she accidently farts in from of her husband in her own home.

Passing on the idea to your children that farting or pooing is something to be ashamed of can lead to children being scared to poo who end up with bowel issues including faecal impaction.

There is a happy medium between farting loudly in company and leaving the toilet door open while pooing and behaving as though farting and pooing are dirty secrets that people should be ashamed of.

Bit extreme . Asking your kids not to stink a communal room out means they will have bowel issues.
Ok!

It just shows you how different people's bodies are. So many people talk like they must fart when they feel the urge. But I don't think that is the case for everyone. Many people just ignore it and it either passes or they let it out later.

He needs therapy to help him unclench.

His issues are his and his alone. Don't allow him to shame you for a normal bodily function and don't allow him to raise your kids the way he was.

Why would you want him to acknowledge that you shat yourself in labour?
Do you want him to just randomly bring it up over dinner one day.
I think he's showing respect by not mentioning it, I'd be mortified if my husband made a point if telling me that and would think very cruel of him

Depends on the age of the kids. Older children can use air freshener and put bleach down. Small children can't do this. Do you tell small children 'not to stink out a communal bathroom'? Surely that's beyond their control?

Still don't understand why it's polite to be in pain rather than just fart. It doesn't last long and if you have to do it, then you have to do it. Same with using a public toilet if your bowels need you to. As a carer, you don't always have the option of your own toilet. Especially if working on a 12 hour domicialliary run.

Wobble your heads. The stigma needs to end. Also it's a lot less revolting than too much perfume, vapes or fags that last a lot longer and can affect your breathing....

I'm with you on this one but if it did happen unintentionally I wouldn't leave the room or make the other person feel bad. Your dhis in John Ruskin territory in his way of thinking OP!

@chaosmaker

cos it stinks??

Can you imagine going to a gym class or something and everyone is just farting off as and when they feel like it as some people are advocating for on this thread?? Vom 🤢

We all wee and poo. Anyone who doesn't laugh at an accidental fart or accidental follow through is just plain weird. 😂

A yoga class I went to years ago,the teacher accidentally let out a fart while demonstrating a position. She just carried on talking like it hadn’t happened. Somebody also farted while we were doing the complete relaxation thing at the end of the class.

😮. The last message I had from my daughter was a voice note of a very long and loud fart. I expect she found it as funny as I did. 😆😆. I suspect that even the King has been known to knock one out from time to time - everyone farts and most people can't hold it non for long enough to get to a toilet or outside.

Ok I’m very rarely ‘laughing out loud’ when I type ‘lol’ - but this instance is definitely an exception

I’m definitely with your DH here OP - I mean I even hate the word f…

When I stay at hotels - I make a rule that me and the person I’m sharing a room with have to use the loo in reception if we need to go .. no illusions shattered in bedrooms thank you …

So if you cut out the bread, you don't cut out the cheese?!

Are you being serious? 🤣🤣🤣

“Farting off”?

One of the funniest things ever was in a Pilates class. We heard the long squeaky trumpet of a fart that had escaped despite a lot of pelvic floor clenching. The room was full of middle aged women who all found it hilarious and commiserated with the culprit and led to lots of confessions of near misses. The rest of the class was a ruin because just as we all started to concentrate again, someone else would start to giggle and set us all off again.