Partner Freaked Out By Women Who Fart/Poo (so yes, all women)

[ThatNavyGoose]

Basically the title - I have been with my partner for almost 8 years and he is a wonderful partner and Dad to our children. BUT - he has never farted in front of me and I have never DARED to fart in front of him. I have never heard him fart even once. He is completely freaked out by the concept that women fart/poo. I pooped a lot in labour with our baby and he pretended like it never happened and has never once acknowledged it. He says he feels this way because of how he was brought up - his parents were exceptionally strict about farting/burping and he used to get in lots of trouble for it, so he finds it really rude/disrespectful and it freaks him out. Our sister in law burps all the time and he will literally get up and leave the room because he can’t stand it. I don’t WANT to fart in front of him particularly but I still worry about one slipping out because he’d be totally disgusted and I’d be mortified. Is it unreasonable to think that after 8 years together he would have relaxed a bit?!

I was about to say this. My husband never, ever used to fart. At least not so anyone could hear it. I’ve always tried to hold them in/make them silent but I wasn’t as good at this as he was. Anyway, in last year or so he’s started farting (out loud). He says he can’t help it - his muscles aren’t as strong as they were. He’s 53.

I can’t believe posters saying they have never heard their husbands of 40 years fart. That’s mind boggling!
I remember when I had my 1st child I handed him to my dad. This tiny baby let out the most massive trumpeting fart, and my dad guffawed and said “ oh he takes after his grandpa!”😁
My husband is a bugger after eating cabbage and his apologetic but gleeful face when I protest slesys makes me laugh. Christ being so uptight you can’t fart is so sad. Are people really so fragile??

Ironically, the most echoey room in the house.

Some toilet bowls are like bloody megaphones too.

One could just as easily say are you people so gross, crass, inconsiderate and uncouth.

I'm 61 and have never heard an immediate family member, boyfriend, SO, friend or coworker let out flatulence. Not once.

Believe it or not there are many people who were raised to spare others their flatus, who don't think it's knee-slappingly hilarious when their sex partners break wind, and who have the sphincter control to step away instead of emitting gas like a dairy cow.

Carry on as you wish but believe me, people are taking note.

'Once you get perimenopausal and beyond, farts just happen.' That's how this side chat started.

If you believed MN you'd think all middle aged women are crazy, sweaty, forgetful basket cases who can't stop farting. I'm going to keep railing against this sterotype that we are all horrible and useless, because society already devalues us enough. None of us are useless, regardless of whatever symptoms we've been dealt. Doesn't mean I don't believe you or sympathise.

I HATE it when people fart or burp in front of me, particularly in a performative manner.

I don’t really mind an occasional stifled burp or even fart but if I get any inkling that the person took any pleasure in it I’m absolutely grossed out.

It stems back to my dad who (when I was a child and teenager) would let rip with disgusting performative farts really regularly, and then laugh at me when I expressed my physical discomfort. So the exposure definitely didn’t help me.

I think respect that he really doesn’t like it, and try to do it discreetly so that he can totally ignore it. I’d also hate the burping SIL and would struggle to be around her

Me and my DW don't fart or burp in front of each other. We don't use the toilet in front of each other either. We are a same sex couple and naturally sometimes use the same public toilets at the same time but that's the only time we hear each other pee. My kids fart and that's no problem-unless at the dinner table!
If you fart a lot you might have food intolerances.

Been married 17 years and together 19. Neither of us has ever knowingly farted in front of the other and we don't sit talking about our own poo. We aren't in need of therapy or in denial about the other's bodily functions but why have zero standards?! We have 2 kids (both now teenagers) who have happily farted and pooed their whole childhood so no hang ups. I just don't like the idea of us sitting farting away as we watch tv or pooing whilst the other showers etc and there's certainly been enough posts on here from people complaining about partners having no boundaries in that area and disgusting them.

What point are you making about going halves? The OP's husband is also holding in farts in her company so it's not like it's one way.

If you overhear from another room there is no need to acknowledge surely?!

Exhausted?! Hardly! What do you do in work, just let rip? If not, are you exhausted from it?!

Where did I mention being in another room? What a bizarre response. If you live with someone you’re going to be in the same room a lot of the time - kitchen, lounge, bedroom (usually, when you’re in a couple like the op is) etc.

If we are sitting in the living room then I would much prefer that DH and DS took themselves out of the room to fart, and I generally do the same. My FIL didn't do this, and of an evening their living room stank of fart. I told DH very early on that this was revolting and wasn't something I would put up with.

But I don't have any issues with people farting, I just don't want to have to sit in the lingering odour.

I do think your DH is a bit OTT from your description.

@Mnetcurious ok I wouldn't call it "overhear" if you're in the same room 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm not bothered by farts, but I must admit I'm puzzled by people who find them irresistibly funny long into adulthood. Surely by the time you've heard a thousand or so farts the humour wears off?

Sorry folks. Wrong thread.

No one in my life is performative around their bodily functions. Everyone uses the toilet as needed in private with no compulsion to discuss it. There are no rules or conversations or references and no one in my household, friendship group or office appears unable to avoid breaking wind. If they ever did, it would be ignored. Until I learned on here that this means we are prudish, repressed and humourless, I thought it was the norm. Showing disgust at people losing control of their bodily functions in labour or if ill is very immature though.

Agreed

So you didn’t have dc? Because babies and toddlers aren’t going to excuse themselves.

your people are unusual if none of them at all developed loose sphincter farts in old age. It’s very very common. It means farts come out unexpectedly