Partner Freaked Out By Women Who Fart/Poo (so yes, all women)

[ThatNavyGoose]

Basically the title - I have been with my partner for almost 8 years and he is a wonderful partner and Dad to our children. BUT - he has never farted in front of me and I have never DARED to fart in front of him. I have never heard him fart even once. He is completely freaked out by the concept that women fart/poo. I pooped a lot in labour with our baby and he pretended like it never happened and has never once acknowledged it. He says he feels this way because of how he was brought up - his parents were exceptionally strict about farting/burping and he used to get in lots of trouble for it, so he finds it really rude/disrespectful and it freaks him out. Our sister in law burps all the time and he will literally get up and leave the room because he can’t stand it. I don’t WANT to fart in front of him particularly but I still worry about one slipping out because he’d be totally disgusted and I’d be mortified. Is it unreasonable to think that after 8 years together he would have relaxed a bit?!

My midwife specifically told DH that if he saw me poo in labour, no he didn't. He should pretend otherwise to spare my blushes.

A decade on and I still gave no idea whether or not I did.

Op, how did you not fart in pregnancy? I was like a truly appallingly noxious brass band!

Or a queef if he was being vigorous.

It's going to happen at some point, he will probably ignore it and leave the room and pretend it didn't happen. He might want to deny science but it doesn't mean you have to join in. Do you have a DD? Is she allowed to acknowledge the necessity to fart and shit?

I mean, also, you have never done a fanny fart in eight years of babymaking and recreational shagging?

I would find this very aggravating to deal with. People fart, shit, burp, sometimes even vomit. He needs to get a grip. What is going to happen if you get norovirus or something? I literally couldn't run to the toilet in time!

Bodies function. He must deal with that.

He'd be appalled by my bowel disease. I've even been known to shit myself.

How does he cope with your kids farting, burping and pooing?

"Oh, I stood on a duck!"

"Did you hear that frog?"

Stock responses if you happen to let one out

I couldn’t live like that. So if you’re sat watching telly in the evening and need to fart, what do you do?

I don't freak out but absolutely cannot stand if anyone bumps or facts in my company.

I never to it in front if anyone else either.
It's rude, bad manners and unpleasant.

Don't like anyone else in the room when using the toilet either.

Why would you think he would even want to discuss when you pooped in labour or any other time? Do you want him to rate it out of ten or something?

Can't understand anyone wanting to share or discuss these things.

It's blowing my mind that there are couples out there who have...never laughed at each others farts!

DH and I fart in front of eachother all the time. I am not going to be conscious of farting with my life partner. If he didn't like it then he could do one. I've got bough on my plate with two kids working full time and everything else to worry about holding in a fart on top of that.

So lets get this straight. We have got to go halves on the cost of a date because equality yet still hold in our farts and get stomach ache like we arent even human. And im another one with bowel issues so wondering how ppl cope when its something like this

You can’t live in the same house and sleep in the same bed as someone (for the rest of your life!) and not occasionally overhear/acknowledge each other’s normal bodily functions. Yanbu.

Thank you. I think it's rude to burp out loud (I mean belt it out on purpose) or do the same with farts in front of anyone. If something accidentally slips out then it's fine it's natural but to just loudly make it a part of your personality is mortifying to me.

Too late! She already has one!!

DH can only fart in the bathroom. He's come to terms with the fact that I'm not so constrained. His parents were strict and also snobs. They didn't let the kids watch ITV, so a huge cultural void. A lot of popular culture just isn't something he can access.

Sounds fantastic.

And, shitting while giving birth doesn't need brought up ever again!

I would happily never fart in front of my partner in exchange for him never doing it around me. Burps I don't care about but I don't want to smell anyone's farts, it's gross.

Especially if the baby is a girl.....

Your husband had been brought up with manners. There is a massive difference between knowing people fart and poo, and thinking it is acceptable to fart or poo in front of someone.

A person n with manners would not purposely fart Infront of someone. It is disrespectful. But if someone were to fart accidentally or due to a medical condition it would be politely ignored.
If someone gets a lighter out on their rip roaring arse explosion and laughs about it then they do not have good manners. Leaving the room would be an acceptably polite way of demonstrating that it shows disrespect, without the need for a direct confrontation.

Team silent (orc at least in the toilet) fart here. YABU

Yep this 100%

That sounds very stressful and I agree he might need therapy.

I say this as someone who dislikes free-farting households (I find the smell and noise unpleasant) but if one slips out (to be expected with two kids in the house), I’m not going to be traumatised or make a big deal of it.

An accidental one certainly wouldn’t be a deal-breaker with my partner, though I appreciate that he is very good at not doing them in front of me.

I’m sure I pooed during birth but it wasn’t a topic anyone felt the need to discuss afterwards. I’m not sure that never mentioning it again is a sign he’s too deeply freaked out to “acknowledge” it.

I try to avoid farting around people,
not just DH. If I do accidentally fart, I apologise. That’s just manners isn’t it?

I don't fart in front of DH or any people apart from my daughter. DH lets it out of both ends with no issue but I like to retain a feminine mystique. Of course, when he leaves the room I may try and sneak one out and sometimes I get an "I heard that". Rare!

I'm more on his side. It's not polite. I don't want to hear it or smell it. But I'll get over it if I do. Within seconds.