To hate holiday with baby

[Greenwich869]

DH insisted it will be great. He was excited. I was the negative nelly obviously but gave in. Well, we're here. 10 hour flight was brutal. Baby is jet lagged. So are we. It's made baby clingy even though he never was clingy with me before. He won't settle for dad now. My back feels like it will snap in two from spending the last 24 hours holding baby to sleep in the airport and plane. Constantly rocking him as if he is a newborn but he's 9 kgs.

It's just parenting a million times worse.

It's day 1, we arrived this morning. DH is insisting it was the right thing to come. He is going the extra mile, trying to do lots and I am trying to put on a good face but I am absolutely miserable.

The right thing to do is snap out of it and enjoy it as there's no quick way to go home. But I hate DH right now. Hate his fucking guts. Could 100% divorce him over this. And I hate myself for giving in to his stupid idea. Hate, hate, hate myself.

I have a relative in this position. I know for a fact she is grateful when people consider her. I will co-opt & highlight the reasons for her feelings as much as I see fit to do so.

OP is fine now & has thanked EVERYONE for their posts. I assume this includes mine 😊

That would be fine if you'd only mentioned her, instead of unconsensually deciding the pain of everyone else in that situation was yours to use as you wished.

As for OP, given that one person on this thread has asked her if she has mental health problems it rather reads like she's being polite. I hope she's enjoying her holiday now, and is simply shrugging off the nastier remarks.

Glad to hear your update and hope things are looking better today . But just to say about your remark at hating to hear him cry . Don't get overly upset about it . It is one of the few ways he can communicate and you will know the difference between his cries. Sometimes he might cry because he is pissed off , his foot itches , he can't reach something , not because he is extremely distressed. And it is OK . Attend to his needs of course but you will stress yourself out if you try to ever have him cry . PS : It does get easier. 💐

Lol at this @Printedword and @Chenecinquantecinq the alternative to a baby who sleeps well in a crib and in a routine is NOT a baby who is chill and can sleep anywhere. The reason we had to have a routine is because he gets so stimulated and out of whack, he would just scream and scream, take a 30-40 minute nap and be grumpy and overtired for the next 2 hours and repeat. I get that some of you have chill babies who sleep well but that's really not a direct result of your parenting.

Depending on the time of day, he can go 3 hours between feeds. The flipside is he sleeps 11 hours at night (usually) so the reason for feeding lots in the day is because he sleeps well at night. If I don't offer the breast often enough, which has happened if I had an appointment or something, he has a shit night sleep and wakes to feed

There's a very good reason holidays are free until they are two.......because it isn't a holiday for anyone, just the same old work, somewhere less convenient!

Reasonable from you, thepartingoftheways.
Sorry OP. Hope your trip improves.

My baby is nearly 1. 3 close friends spent a lot of their maternity leave travelling with baby - I honestly don’t know how they did it and they have all said it was “amazing”.

My idea of a nightmare but we all know ourselves.

You are there now, relax. Make DH do a lot of the work whilst you take a nap or ease into it. It sounds like he is trying to make it work but from my experience, we as the mum always take on the stress of it all.

I do hope it is enjoyable overtime. I also hope it’s a lasting memory that you will have great stories from (even if they are frustrating). At least you know baby holidays arnt your thing and you can suggest somewhere closer next time.

Good luck

Fair play, good of you to say so. Hopefully OP saw your useful advice about routines and jet lag.

Might it be time to start on a little solid food for your baby? Might helm them sleep for a little longer?

Give it a chance! Of course the plane and airport will be a nightmare, once you’ve slept it will be better. Some of the best holidays I’ve had were when mine were babies. Try and enjoy it.

I agree. Holidays with a baby are just harder than having the baby at home. With the added disappointment of it not being a holiday

Yanbu

I was very nervous about going on holiday when my first child was born, and we put it off until she was eighteen months old. First night was a bit stressful and exhausting particularly because we went 24 hours without any sleep due to a 4am check in time and the flight and transfers. Within 48 hours it was amazing!

Having learned that it could be done, we got a passport asap when my second child was born, and we took her on holiday at 4 months old! I was exclusively breastfeeding at the time and to be honest it was so much easier than taking a toddler as there wasn’t any picky eating to deal with. I nursed on the flight at take off and landing to prevent pressure on her ears…. I was still breastfeeding when she was a year old and she celebrated her first birthday on holiday! It’s actually easier the younger they are!

Once you have had some sleep OP you will feel better!

So why did you do a 10 hr flight plenty nice places in Europe 2-3 hrs. YABU for that.

They are visiting family @Dogsbreath7 .

It was silly to choose a destination with a 10 hour flight.You are feeling awful so imagine how your baby is feeling

Well that’s helpful

It is a normal reaction to a partner who is taking the piss by externalising consequences so they can have a good time. Personally I would question if taking a baby on a long haul flight is a good idea at all with the exception of visiting overseas family.

@Nonrienderien

did you mean to be so invalidating?

@SunnyPlumOrca

baby probably fine. They haven’t had to navigate all the stress and worry like Op. I mean baby doesn’t need to check flight times and which terminal they need to be at etc etc Baby doesn’t worry about disturbing fellow passengers but OP probably does. Etc etc

Never did a long haul flight when my children were young. My daughter was 1 when we went to Spain. 2 hour flight was enough. Yes it wasn’t as relaxing as a holiday would be minus children but I don’t remember it as being awful. Both my children (now very much adults) loved flying as they got older . Those were the days when they were allowed in the cockpit!!

Hopefully baby will settle (they are very adaptable) and you’ll have a lovely time.

This ^ until about 4 years old although it was still hard and tiring. Same shit different location.
I've said to DH that for future children we will not be going out of the country until they're 4 minimum!

11 hours a night?! My god now I know why you are feeling rubbish! 😂

When we took DS1 away (9 months to NZ) we were happy with 3 hour sleep blocks so it definitely was well we might as well explore somewhere new and actually found a benefit to his 5am wake ups......we got beauty spots completely to ourselves at 7am and loved it!
DS1 definitely still needed routine and we did stick to it but would be a buggy nap using a shade etc and we would time drives with nap time.

As long as your clear with DH no his schedule stays to a certain extent whilst away then the rest of your trip should hopefully be a good one!

Or maybe book just two sets of three seats 🙄 (well one set of three and one set of two, as the baby didn’t have his own seat).

Well really obviously I was responding to the post directly. What a nasty little reply

You hate him and could divorce him over this? I feel like there’s got to be more to this for you to feel this way, that’s an extreme thing to say