Had an argument with my boyfriend this morning

[pinkgin1994]

Am I being a complete bitch here? It is my time
of the month so it may be me…

Our alarm went off and we were cuddling/snoozing as normal. At one point I told him to look at me because something funny had happened with my
hair.

About 10 minutes later he seemed annoyed, I asked him what was wrong and he said “I didn’t want to open my eyes” he said he wants to wake up on his terms and that he wanted an extra 10 minutes.

We always cuddle/snooze and his comment about waking up on his own terms just made me feel
annoying and like I can’t do anything right. I now feel like I can’t do anything in case it wakes him up. He said that everything else is fine.
He explained it but wasn’t exactly loving when I seemed upset. So I was still upset.

I told him this and he flipped. He said he already explained, and I’m dragging it around in circles.
I said I just needed reassurance and a hug and a bit of love, but he said he’d already reassured me and said he loved me.

he then got annoyed and said I “do this every time” and that he would be “wasting his time” because reassuring me never helps, and that he’s just repeating himself. He kept emphasising the fact that it’s a waste of time.
I asked if he thinks it’s a waste of time reassuring and cheering up his own girlfriend, and he said “well it never does that anyway”.

He then was a bit late for work and said I make him late a lot.

Im in tears now and I don’t really know why

I would be annoyed with you too

Sorry but you sound a bit needy and hard work

He was tired and a bit cranky amd said something minor. He's explained why and told you he loves you but sounds like you're still going on and on about it. It's a total non event! I'd be getting seriously irritated if I were him.

Agreed. Sounds like you wanted to keep brining up a complete irrelevant disagreement.

I'd say fair enough he didn't want to open his eyes to see some hair 😆

You sound like an utter nightmare.
Sorry.

You're a grown woman, not a toddler. You shouldn't need constant reassurance of his love because you have minor disagreements.

It sounds like he's had enough tbh. I would suggest you change your behaviour before it's too late.

You do sound really annoying and needy. Just let it go.

You’re being needy and annoying
it’s first thing in the morning
let him wake up as he needs
and making him late as well - no wonder he’s get irritable with you

I think your "I can't do anything right" stance is the one that stands out. This is one thing, not everything, so you need to stop thinking of it as you are a failure in some way. The cuddling was all fine so that was going right. I think you should do some thinking on why your immediate reaction is I can't do anything right. It isn't reasonable to assume that over one thing. You sound a bit dramatic. Maybe he is tired of trying to reassure you when it clearly doesn't work.

You sound like very hard work.

Wow!

YOU are the problem OP.

Your poor boyfriend. Having to deal with this level of neediness is corrosive.

This was very low level to cause such drama, I think this one is on you, OP. I definitely get hormonal and oversensitive sometimes, but most of the time I can recognise it's me. If I don't, DP is usually pretty good about it, knowing that most of the time I do clock it. I can absolutely see how reassuring over minor things could get so waring.

Are minors allowed on this website?

Aw, everyone needs a bit of reassurance at times.

Let this one go, it was early in the morning.

YABU. Unnecessary drama. Who needs that first thing in the morning jeeeez.

Any time I hear a partner say "I can't do anything right" that's a relationship over for me. It's immature, defensive and a phrase designed to manipulate someone into affection. And it usually follows a complete non-event where a normal human reaction is blown out of proportion. One can't build a strong relationship with a person like that.
Your time of the month has nothing to do with it.

Haha if my husband asked me to open my eyes when I was snoozing to look at his hair would tell him to fuck off. So weird. I totally understand waking up on your own terms. If he gets up before me he leaves the room to sort him out self out whilst I wake up - I take longer to wake in the morning.

“Look at you because something funny had happened with your hair” …. Grow up

Set your alarm for when you need to get up, and get up when it goes off. I don't understand why people use a snooze button and then complain that they're running late in the morning. The snooze button might be OK for weekend lie-ins but you are asking for trouble using it on a working day.

He was annoyed because he wanted an extra 10 mins. He told you this, so now you know. No need to carry on the drama.

Maybe he can’t do anything right! She expected him to wake up to look at her hair?! That’s insane

I don’t like opening my eyes until I’m ready in the morning either. If I expressed this to my partner and they started saying they were scared to move slightly and disturb me, when I’d told them this wasn’t an issue, I’d have serious concerns. Don’t ask me to open my eyes, that’s it. Doesn’t mean we can’t ever cuddle.

You’re catastrophising everything. If he doesn’t want a specific disturbance, you must be impossibly still until he has fully risen. If he’s annoyed it means he doesn’t love you any more.

Look, everyone needs reassurance but it is gonna be frustrating when he feels like he’s giving it constantly and it makes no difference. You need to get therapy and work on yourself. It will do you and your relationship the world of good.

I was referring to the OP. But, perhaps, I misread her post.

Sorry, it does sound like you keep round in circles with it. He got annoyed, you told him you were upset. He explained why he was annoyed, said he loved you, but you carried on at him saying you needed more reassurance and he should want to provide that. That would piss me off too, you should have left it there.

Don't force people to wake up unless it's an emergency