Had an argument with my boyfriend this morning

[pinkgin1994]

Am I being a complete bitch here? It is my time
of the month so it may be me…

Our alarm went off and we were cuddling/snoozing as normal. At one point I told him to look at me because something funny had happened with my
hair.

About 10 minutes later he seemed annoyed, I asked him what was wrong and he said “I didn’t want to open my eyes” he said he wants to wake up on his terms and that he wanted an extra 10 minutes.

We always cuddle/snooze and his comment about waking up on his own terms just made me feel
annoying and like I can’t do anything right. I now feel like I can’t do anything in case it wakes him up. He said that everything else is fine.
He explained it but wasn’t exactly loving when I seemed upset. So I was still upset.

I told him this and he flipped. He said he already explained, and I’m dragging it around in circles.
I said I just needed reassurance and a hug and a bit of love, but he said he’d already reassured me and said he loved me.

he then got annoyed and said I “do this every time” and that he would be “wasting his time” because reassuring me never helps, and that he’s just repeating himself. He kept emphasising the fact that it’s a waste of time.
I asked if he thinks it’s a waste of time reassuring and cheering up his own girlfriend, and he said “well it never does that anyway”.

He then was a bit late for work and said I make him late a lot.

Im in tears now and I don’t really know why

Just keep on acting like this OP and you'll find his 'grumpiness' won't be an issue any more.

i have been married for 40 years. I am not a morning person. Not for anyone. It took my DH several arguments and me being grumpy because he is a very chipper early riser to understand that in the morning my preference (and it is a Very Strong Preference) that nobody speaks to me on anything other than life or death before i'm ready. And you know I'm ready because i speak. My DH has other Very Strong Preferences that i understand and comply with. That is the give and take you need in a relationship.

Either you two aren't aligned and need to part because you will never change, or you can learn to adjust to each other's needs and wants.

You do sound very needy and petulant, OP. Do you often feel criticised by him, or anyone else in your past? Perhaps that’s why you take such minor things to heart. You need to figure that out so you can work on it because it’s really not attractive in an adult.

He’s not obliged to be at your beck and call. The only thing he has done wrong here is quietly seethe instead of saying to you, ‘’Jane, I was enjoying an extra five minutes there’ to which you should have said sorry instead of having a tantrum and both moved on.

Honestly OP, I'd be fucked off with these shenanigans too, you sound really needy and annoying. I'd be extra pissed off if I'd ended up being late for work too.

IMHO you should both be more sensitive to each other.

Everyone needs a bit of space. Even though an alarm’s gone off, it doesn’t mean he should immediately wake up and give you attention. You should wait until he’s awake.

He should be sensitive that you may feel more fragile and in need of reassurance at certain points in your menstrual cycle.

Once you feel less emotional, have a chat in the spirit of being empathetic and conciliatory to each other.

You sound incredibly whiney and immature. Poor bloke just wanted to remain in that twilight between being a sleep and waking up and there's you like a petulant child asking him to look at your hair!

He has no interest in your hair!

Childish attention seeking and acting petulant is a massive turn off for any man.

Ffs. It is not that you are annoying or can't do anything right, he just doesn't want you to wake him up for chit chat when snoozing. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or care about you and you shouldn't need reassured that you are loved after he makes one very basic request. You are making it difficult/impossible for him to express an opinion in case you take it as a personal attack/lack of love and care.

Should have been

You "you seem annoyed"

Him "i didn't like being told to look at you when still half asleep, I want to wake up in my own time"

You "oops, sorry I didn't think. Won't happen again"

Him "no worries, your hair was funny"

I imagine you wrote that with your bottom lip stuck out

Thing is his alarm had already gone off… he should’ve been up anyway!

But he's a grown man and will get up when he feels like it.

It's fine, he didn't want to open his eyes and look at something in the morning, he was half asleep.

You should have just left it at that.

This is not a big deal but you're making it one. I can see his point.

At one point I told him to look at me because something funny had happened with my hair

What had happened with your hair? Short of it turning into a nest of baby adders overnight I can't think why you'd even raise this. You are being weird and unreasonable in the extreme.

I died of boredom from the sheer tedium of the issue.

You sound pathetic and I’m embarrassed for you that you had to start this thread.

You post about things like this a lot, don't you? I recognise this relationship. You are immature, needy and argumentative. You brain seems to work like that of a toddler. You have no concept that the world doesn't revolve around you and your whims. Your boyfriend is a saint. He will probably leave you eventually and it wouldn't be a day too soon.

You are NOT listening!! Ffs grow up! Your neediness and childish 'oh love me, hug me, make me feel better' act made him late for work!! Are you for real?? Christ alive!! 🤦‍♀️

I don't think this will end well

No just no!

Wtf is this all about

Mountains and molehills

Ahh, since it transpires you have posted several threads of a similar nature, I would question whether these are genuine or just someone’s weird sense of humour? If genuine, you definitely need therapy. You are a child in an adult’s body.

You’re not his mum. Stop being so pathetic.

Thing is, his alarm had gone off..he should have been awake anyway!

He doesn't have to snap to attention the second you demand it, especially not to look at or listen to something as inconsequential and unimportant as your funny hair.

He probably allows himself a bit of time to come round. Most people do. He doesn't deserve to have you prodding and needling him awake like some hungry cat or dog or impatient toddler peeling his eyelids back for him and getting right up in his face saying 'are you awake Daddy?'

Grow up. You sound like a narcissistic overgrown child.

He is definitely not a morning person. Nothing you or he can do about that. Just enjoy the cuddles quietly.

I have been told by numerous people, including my mum, that I am very annoying in the morning. They love me dearly but I need to shut the fuck up. Once told, that is what I do. No hard feelings. There’s the whole of the rest of the day to talk.

Janet Fitch in White Oleander wrote brilliantly about people's attitude to other people's sleep. Basically, you can tell whether people appreciate/love/respect you by the way they let you/don't let you sleep, if they respect your sleep. In that book it was about male domination/patriarchy - i.e. when the main protagonist (fostered girl) and her foster mum woke up and foster dad slept, they crept around like ghosts, not making a sound, respecting his sleep. When he woke up and they were asleep, he made noise because he did not care a jot. Same theme in German poetry where undisturbed sleep is a manifestation of true love. You example was an instance of exquisite selfishness. I do understand why your BF was angry.

Goodness, you sound exhausting!

Why would your hair need to be looked at?! You were in bed, how would you know what it looked like and why would that matter.

Poor chap.

Thing is his alarm had already gone off… he should’ve been up anyway!

get outta here, OP. When my DH is already up and out (he gets up stupidly early and i don't so it's most days) and i have my alarm on, i have been known to use the snooze button for up to an hour for me to fully wake up. You are not the boss of him, so you don't need to monitor his getting up time.

It's OP that is whining about how she "can't do anything right", not her partner.