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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Had an argument with my boyfriend this morning

154 replies

pinkgin1994 · 05/03/2025 07:48

Am I being a complete bitch here? It is my time
of the month so it may be me…

Our alarm went off and we were cuddling/snoozing as normal. At one point I told him to look at me because something funny had happened with my
hair.

About 10 minutes later he seemed annoyed, I asked him what was wrong and he said “I didn’t want to open my eyes” he said he wants to wake up on his terms and that he wanted an extra 10 minutes.

We always cuddle/snooze and his comment about waking up on his own terms just made me feel
annoying and like I can’t do anything right. I now feel like I can’t do anything in case it wakes him up. He said that everything else is fine.
He explained it but wasn’t exactly loving when I seemed upset. So I was still upset.

I told him this and he flipped. He said he already explained, and I’m dragging it around in circles.
I said I just needed reassurance and a hug and a bit of love, but he said he’d already reassured me and said he loved me.

he then got annoyed and said I “do this every time” and that he would be “wasting his time” because reassuring me never helps, and that he’s just repeating himself. He kept emphasising the fact that it’s a waste of time.
I asked if he thinks it’s a waste of time reassuring and cheering up his own girlfriend, and he said “well it never does that anyway”.

He then was a bit late for work and said I make him late a lot.

Im in tears now and I don’t really know why

OP posts:
MissDoubleU · 05/03/2025 08:48

IAmNeverThePerson · 05/03/2025 08:30

If DH asked me to look at something, regardless of the time I would. Well actually i’d ask him to find my glasses first.

if it was a non event that i didn’t need to wake up for then I might get snarky but not before. Surely if your partner asks you to look at something you do?

Edited

And he did, he looked at her hair and it was a complete non-event. It was 10 minutes after this that OP realised her partner was a bit annoyed at being disturbed and started pressing him, then asking for reassurance and getting upset saying “I can’t do anything right” etc.

His crime here was that after doing as she asked he was quietly irritated about it.

Pootlemcsmootle · 05/03/2025 08:50

HeadacheEarthquake · 05/03/2025 07:49

I would be annoyed with you too

Me too, OP you sound like bloody hard work. Tbh if I had a boyfriend who was this needy in the first few minutes of my day I'd dump him. The emotional energy you demand and that he was required to give in this scenario was bloody exhausting to even read!!!! Leave the poor bloke alone and chill out.

LostMyLanyard · 05/03/2025 08:50

Wow! I'd be exhausted living with your neediness. I can't stand this trait in adults. It's ridiculous!

JHound · 05/03/2025 08:52

You sound exhausting.

MumWifeOther · 05/03/2025 08:53

Yeah, it’ll be the hormones

kungfoofighting · 05/03/2025 08:53

He was half asleep and just a bit cranky at being woken up.

Maybe just don’t demand that he opens his eyes unless it’s something genuinely urgent.

All you needed to say was – ah sorry, didn’t mean to disturb you snoozing.

Don’t want to be snarky, but do think you need to get a grip OP.

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 05/03/2025 08:53

I have to will myself to wak up some mornig, will myself to open my eyes cause i'm not ready yet. You would have annoyed me this morning, can't stand when DH thinks it's ok for him to bang the light on or open the curtains when he gets up because he is up and thinks I should be .

Think you are overreacting

AubernFable · 05/03/2025 08:53

You do sound needy in your OP, I agree with PP’s on that, however I don’t like the sound of the boyfriend at all. I would much rather be with someone that feels insecure or needy and asks for reassurance over a whiney, emotionally unstable man child.

He could’ve just looked at your silly hair thing and then said shh and cuddled for 10 more minutes, upsetting you wasn’t necessary.

onetwothreefourfive11 · 05/03/2025 08:55

You're too needy, sound insecure and anxious.

Go to therapy

Zone2NorthLondon · 05/03/2025 08:55

You essentially provoked an argument and then demanded reassurance. That’s wearing for him.YABU. Very

NormasArse · 05/03/2025 08:55

When I’m dreaming and DH wakes me up just because he wants to talk to me, I feel actual anger 😂.

Tiswa · 05/03/2025 08:57

How often do you make him late?

but also minor irritations and annoyances are par for the course in a relationship if you can’t handle minor conflict or disagreements then you need therapy

Ellie1015 · 05/03/2025 08:57

Your boyfriend should be able to let you know he doesn't want to chat in the mornings until he is fully awake without your feelings being hurt so badly. You need to work on that.

kungfoofighting · 05/03/2025 08:58

NormasArse · 05/03/2025 08:55

When I’m dreaming and DH wakes me up just because he wants to talk to me, I feel actual anger 😂.

Mine sometimes stands next to the bed and kisses my face while I’m trying to keep still with the hope of getting back to sleep after he’s gone.

Piss OFFFFF!

CaptainFuture · 05/03/2025 08:58

LostMyLanyard · 05/03/2025 08:50

Wow! I'd be exhausted living with your neediness. I can't stand this trait in adults. It's ridiculous!

I think this level of neediness and constant requiring of reassurance is a 'thing'these days, along with the 'oh but this is MY LOVE LANGUAGE! therefore I am entitled to behave like this and if you don't agree you don't love me!!'

Sayshesheshe · 05/03/2025 08:58

Unless your hair had morphed into a stand up comedian over night I don’t see why it justifies asking someone to wake up to look at it.

MumCanIHaveASnackPlease · 05/03/2025 09:00

Sorry are you both 6 years old? If this is the kind of stuff you’re having huge bust ups about neither of you are emotionally mature enough to be in an adult relationship.

Starlight7080 · 05/03/2025 09:00

On a Sunday when I don't have to get up early then fair enough.
But every bloody day to snooze and cuddle . Would drive me insane.
I don't wake him if he doesn't need to be up yet . He doesn't wake me . Firm rule
Sleep is so important. And it is irritating when people force you awake for daft reasons.
Sounds like a lot of drama over nothing .

ImTooFatLikeThat · 05/03/2025 09:01

My husband knows he shouldn't even talk to me in the morning as I'm not a morning person!

You would drive me mad!

Msmoonpie · 05/03/2025 09:01

You sound incredibly needy. You needed love reassurance and a hug because he told you his preference for not being woken up ?!

Good grief. I would not put up with that.

pinkgin1994 · 05/03/2025 09:01

Thing is his alarm had already gone off… he should’ve been up anyway!

OP posts:
Garlicgarlicgarlic · 05/03/2025 09:03

pinkgin1994 · 05/03/2025 09:01

Thing is his alarm had already gone off… he should’ve been up anyway!

He gets to decide that for himself. It all sounds too dramatic for my liking but if you enjoy dating him, just let him be late for work.

Jackdoor · 05/03/2025 09:04

I think he's the unreasonable one for still being sulky ten minutes later over being asked to open his eyes. I personally wouldn't put up with that.

FarmGirl78 · 05/03/2025 09:08

pinkgin1994 · 05/03/2025 09:01

Thing is his alarm had already gone off… he should’ve been up anyway!

Are you going to totally ignore everything else that we're saying?

CaptainFuture · 05/03/2025 09:08

pinkgin1994 · 05/03/2025 09:01

Thing is his alarm had already gone off… he should’ve been up anyway!

So is still ALL HIS FAULT?

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