to tell ex that if parents evening is that important, he can sodding well go?

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Youngest of six in senior school. Parents evening once a term and every term it is the same. She is top set and doing very well, not bragging, just a fact. I spend a couple of hours sitting waiting and then probably half an hour total being told that she is doing very well and then getting the sales pitch for her to choose their subject for GCSE. Talked to her earlier about the next one and asked her if she would mind if we didnt go, she said she thought it was a waste of time. Her father messaged me tonight asking if I had made the appointments as he gets the email reminders. I said no as I wasnt going and asked if he had made his own appointments. He went MAD. I am a bad mother, I dont care about her, I should go blah blah. I said that I had been to all the other appointments and it hadnt really told me anything I didnt know but he was welcome to go himself. Again, it was my job, I am a shit mother who doesnt care about her.

So that was when I lost my shit and said "Well considerning you have never been to a single one of her parents evenings, perhaps this is the time you should go if you think it matters so much". Radio Silence.

I dont feel that it will make any difference, DD agrees.

So, if it matters to him so much, he can go right?

My son was always doing v well. Things changed bit in latter years. It’s also to see if they are ok in themself/ any concerns about mood or friendships. I wouldn’t miss it as things can change quickly during teens.

I’ve been on many threads where OP’s have been misinterpreted and posters have gone off at a tangent then argued the toss because they’ve not read - only skimmed. Seems to be the norm for MN these days to ignore what’s actually being asked and deliver a critique of the OP instead. But this one is off the scale. If there was a quick poll l wonder how many posters - if they were honest - completely missed that DD is ND, and that OP’s marriage ended because her ex was physically and verbally abusive, and ultimately tried to kill her. Either reading comprehension is markedly deteriorating or some posters are deliberately avoiding facts in order to either project their own experience or support their own narrative. That little ‘see all’ button on the OP might just as well not be there.

I’ve reported , it’s disgusting isn’t it

2 things would it be beneficial and does DD want you to go

we only went to a few our kids were 100% happy with this

only went in the first year and then when we needed advice on subject choices and in the last year
think we went to about 4 and can honestly say 1/2 of them were a waste of time

DD is in a program to help with her confidence - something OP was instrumental in arranging, and she gets regular fortnightly one to one updates from DD’s head of year on DD’s progress, both academically and socially. If anything changes she doesn’t have to wait for a parents evenings, she’s constantly kept informed.

I reported a couple of openly and shockingly ableist posts and MN saw fit to let one of them stand, so l wouldn’t be too hopeful that they agree she’s crossed a line. l haven’t helped because l’ve replied to most of them as well as the ones in which she’s tagged me, so l suppose l’ve perpetuated the derailment. It’s just so hard to ignore a poster who seems to be trying their hardest to be as offensive as possible.

As a secondary maths teacher, I agree with you entirely! I love a positive chat with parents about how well their children are doing (most of mine are 16, 17 and 18) but I wouldn't blame you for not thinking it is necessary.

I would just say though, that it is important to praise bright children for doing well as much as everyone else. It's very common for parents (and teachers) to take for granted that bright children will keep working hard.

I know what you mean. I’m just shocked that she is still able to post despite the derailment and some of the views expressed. Who knows how decisions are made in mnhq huh

Because they have a child together, and that child is coming to a crucial time in her education. OP has already explained that she limits contact with her ex wherever possible, but that he has access to DD, so sometimes it’s unavoidable. And you didn’t advise her not to respond, you blamed her for his abusiveness.

I agree. That poster is indefatigable in her awfulness and whenever you think that she has thankfully disappeared, up she pops again with some new ignorant, goady and ableist take on the situation. She's either in a different time zone or nocturnal.

Unfortunately, having most of her posts deleted doesn't seem to deter her.

Wow, l missed this. Yes. CIDP is thought to be related to Guillain Barre syndrome. They’re both auto immune diseases causing difficulty with walking, respiratory problems and a wide range of other effects. If I remember rightly GBS is the acute form, often requiring emergency and ICU treatment and CIDP is chronic, with a slower onset - it affects the nerves around the brain and spinal cord.

l was a disability out reach worker for many years from the early 1990s. I’ve dealt with a broad spectrum of disability in that time. I only came across GBS/CIDP a couple of times towards the end of my career. It’s quite a rare form of autoimmune disease, and l don’t know the intricacies of it but l do remember one client saying that they had been misdiagnosed with MS and the CIDP symptoms had been recognised and treated too late to avoid him being left with permanent loss of sensation and impaired walking ability. I seem to remember breathing difficulties too, but not sure if that was connected.