DH precious about “his weekend lie in”

[Summatoruvva]

He WFH Monday-Friday in not an especially tasking job. I do most household/parenting stuff as I work school hours. He does washing up in evening and helps with homework etc.

He takes youngest to an hours football training on Monday night and the under 11s game on Saturday. He has to do this because he drives and I don’t. He will often grumble about getting up Saturday but will do it.

Dishes were left last night and as sun is out I sprang out of bed at 8.15 to get started. Ten mins later he appears in boxers saying can you be quiet. Turn down podcast and wash up more quietly. He went back to bed. I went up to get uniforms from basket and he leapt out of bed huffing that he’s hardly slept and the housework could wait and I have woken the oldest (11). It was 9 am.

I reminded him we’re a busy family and not hungover students and he’s stomped about tidying ineffectually before going to his mums to be told there there.

Does a 50 year old man deserve a lie in every weekend?

Honestly, assuming you each have a chance for a lie in, it's not too much to ask to leave him undisturbed for a bit. I cherish my one weekly lie-in and would be deeply annoyed if DH constantly disrupted it.

Earbuds or headphones are your friend.

Just because you got up and got started on your day doesn't mean everyone has to. I keep it down a bit when people are still asleep.

As long as you both get a chance to do that.

Honestly I'd be so annoyed if my DH had the same attitude as you. We each get one lie in a week and we each work hard to make sure the other person gets undisturbed rest.

Each parent deserves a lie in.
Happy spouse, happy house.

Mostly team husband here, weekend lie ins are coveted here and I would not be impressed if DH "sprung out of bed" at 8.15 and proceeded to make a lot of noise like unnecessarily putting music/radio on. You should be more considerate of the noise you make, IMO.

My DH is 50 and loves his Sunday morning lie in. I am awake early so am often up by 8am but I do my best to make sure I am quiet. I get the dogs up and take them out and will quietly wash up and keep the noise from the TV down so I don't disturb his lie in. Any washing I do gets put on after he is up so that the noise doesn't wake him. I do this as I know he cherishes that one morning a week and because I love and respect him.

Why does it bother you so much to allow him this?

If Sunday is his only lie in you are being deeply, unfathomably and selfishly unreasonable.

Clanking about at 8:15 on a Sunday Morning ? Turn it down a bit.
The washing up did not need doing at 8:15, I’m sure the uniforms can wait until lunchtime.

I have a lie in every weekend .. as a 52 year old woman. It’s blissful

Wow I would be considering divorcing you if I were him. Sleep is sacred, and one lie in a week not too much to ask.

Above my bed, in a frame, it says ‘if you love me, let me sleep’ so I think that probably sums up where I stand on this issue 😁 #teamDH

Neither is really unreasonable. But the lifestyles you want to lead are not the same. I married a get up and go type person because that's what I am, so we both spring out of bed at weekends. It would drive me potty if DH was lying about, but that's why I married someone who doesn't do that. Since you did, you need to arrange a system that keeps you both happy. Either you each get to dictate one morning, or something like that so it's fair.

Sorry, but I'd be really pissed off if DH started crashing about at 8.15 in the morning when neither of us had any reason to be up early.

By all means get up and get on, but at least keep the noise down and save all the noisy stuff for when everyone is awake.

My husband and I are a team. When he is still sleeping in the morning I will do what I can to avoid him being disturbed so that he can get a lie in. When I am knackered and need his support he helps me too. That way we both win.

I'm an early riser and DH likes to lie in but I'm with your husband on this sorry. Keep the noise down and let him sleep.

Why don't you drive?

Surely you can listen to the podcast on headphones? And if he was responsible for last nights cleanup he can’t complain that you did it in the morning.

Thank you. I am feeling conflicted with a tinge of guilt. I honestly was trying to be quiet. He was awake when I got out of bed and he never nods back off. Unless I’m ill I don’t really lie in because youngest is up crack of dawn.
I am generally resentful/overwhelmed about the housework and rarely get that spring into action feeling.

I dedicate Mon-Fri to my employer and family. Sat-Sun to my family. I deserve a lay in, your husband does too

I hate to be woken up without good reason.
I staying at my sisters home once omg it was like if shes awake everyone should be awake but not at 7 in the morning on a sunday.
Making a load of noise for the sake of it would drive me nuts in the mornings there is just no need for it.
If you want to get up at stupid oclock good for you but the rest of us let us sleep.
Love my sleep and lie ins.
Today i woke at 10 am blissful.

My DH gets up fairly early on a Sunday. The rest of the week I get up earlier than him. I do my best not to wake him up during the week, and I expect the same during my one lie in a week!

sometimes noise can’t be helped, especially if you have kids, but I’d definitely be annoyed if he made no effort to be quiet on a Sunday when I’m considerate the rest of the week

This isn't about this morning's lie in, I think this is about you being more generally resentful that he gets an easier ride of things throughout the week and therefore doesn't deserve the lie in. He didn't do the washing up last night, and you're responsible for the laundry, you were letting him know. Which is fine, but if you do it with words rather than brisk actions you'll get better results, and avoid a tit for tat.

Dh and I get one lie in each person weekend and although we don't moan if it's missed for a valid reason (dd needed to be at her club with full hair and make up yesterday which necessitated a much earlier start), I'd be really cross if he disturbed me for no real reason, and I also make effort to do the same. For instance I didn't get the hoover out this morning until I knew he was in the shower. I think it's a sign of respect tbh. Why is springing out of bed so virtuous?

As is always the case with this threads, it sounds like there are bigger issues at play.

But it's not unreasonable for a 50 year old to want to lie-in on the weekend.

Do you work as well?

Team husband I am afraid unless he is sleeping most of the morning away.