DH precious about “his weekend lie in”

[Summatoruvva]

He WFH Monday-Friday in not an especially tasking job. I do most household/parenting stuff as I work school hours. He does washing up in evening and helps with homework etc.

He takes youngest to an hours football training on Monday night and the under 11s game on Saturday. He has to do this because he drives and I don’t. He will often grumble about getting up Saturday but will do it.

Dishes were left last night and as sun is out I sprang out of bed at 8.15 to get started. Ten mins later he appears in boxers saying can you be quiet. Turn down podcast and wash up more quietly. He went back to bed. I went up to get uniforms from basket and he leapt out of bed huffing that he’s hardly slept and the housework could wait and I have woken the oldest (11). It was 9 am.

I reminded him we’re a busy family and not hungover students and he’s stomped about tidying ineffectually before going to his mums to be told there there.

Does a 50 year old man deserve a lie in every weekend?

OP doesn't get a lie and does pretty much all of the housework and parenting.

This man does the dinner dishes and his contribution to parenting is helping with homework and ferrying one child to football (whilst OP cares for another).

The man in question doesn't think he should be doing this and OP should take on that task too.

He is taking the piss and there's a huge lack of equality here;he should be doing more and has no right to give OP shit for doing housework in the morning considering he's not pulling his weight.

He's obviously a big important man who deserves a quiet 1950's housewife.

By the way even if OP drove he should still be taking his kid to football.

She should add no sex to that too

I don’t blame him for being cross. He is probably tired which leads to grumpiness. Just because you are awake doesn’t give you the right to make a lot of noise. I hope you get a turn to have a lie in too. I get that you want to listen to a Podcast but earphones could make this possible. And before anyone comes for me I know women get tired too, I am one. A bit of mutual respect goes a long way.

It’s not about team anyone is it?

@Uberella

OP isn’t having a lie in because she’s choosing not to. Her youngest child sounds about 10 so assuming no special needs doesn’t need a parent to come down with them in the morning on weekends if they wake up early. Op sounds like she is being a bit of a martyr

Sunday is my only lay in, jd be enraged if someone woke me at 8.15am!
but then I have early mornings (4.30am alarms) to take DD swimming and late evenings as she swims 7-8pm (NOT EVERY DAY! ) but still still leaves me exhausted some days and I sometimes have to set alarms to wake me in the evenings for the training….. so my Sunday lay in is precious!
he’s not wrong wanting a lay in but is immature stripping off to his mothers…. He also needs to help with your toddler!

OP doesn't get a lie and does pretty much all of the housework and parenting.

Her youngest is 10 so if she's not having a lie in that's her own choice. It's not like she has a toddler who needs constant care.

She does most of the housework and parenting as she only works school hours, which sounds totally fair enough to me, especially considering her kids are almost secondary aged!

They don't have a toddler

They have a young child who gets up at the crack of dawn, this is left to the OP to get up with the child.

@Lollipop81

they dont have a young child though. If you read OP’s posts it sounds as if their youngest is about 9 or 10 years old

How old are your children, @Summatoruvva ?

Your OP suggests that you have an 11 year old and another child who is old enough to play for the under-11 football team. If that's the case, are you being woken up at the crack of dawn by a child who could quite happily play/read for an hour or two whilst you have a lie-in if you wanted?

@Lollipop81 no they don't - their youngest plays U11 football so can't be any younger than 9/10.

Nobody needs to be getting up at the crack of dawn with a 10 year old unless OP is about to do a massive drip feed about special needs.

Yes, and you get Saturday, what is wrong with you?

Yes, if you work a 5 day week, help out in the evening, get up to do a kids activity sat am then you can absolutely have a lie in on a sunday.

seems like a one off? and also he said he didn’t get a good night’s sleep. you’re just being horrible!

How are you working that out ?

It sounds like he is contributing, and that he works longer hours than the OP, so naturally she does more with the household and dc.

For those talking about OP getting up with a toddler - where are you getting that from. It's there in the Opening post He takes youngest to an hours football training on Monday night and the under 11s game on Saturday.

"The youngest to U11s" which suggests the youngest child is 10 or 11, so there is no need whatsoever for the OP to be getting up early unless she chooses to, and also suggests she could lie in until midday every Saturday during the season when her dh is taking their ds to his matches, if she wanted to.

Dh needs these. My dh snores and I can't hear him with these in.

I need to get up by 9ish at the weekend or I feel like I'm wasting the day (especially if I feel like I'm wasting a sunny day where I can day the washing on the line 😆). Maybe agree that you'll stick to being quieter but can still cracknon with stuff. No point sitting there waiting for someone else to wake up. Is he also going to tell the neighbours that they can't mow the lawn before midday as he's sleeping? 😁

Really, if you go to bed at 11 and get 9 hours sleep that’s 8am , a lye in is lying or sleeping in bed beyond normal sleeping hours, it’s dark in Scotland at 8.15 during winter so I don’t get up unless I need to at that time

i only need 6 hours sleep, i get up 5:30am daily (to do my horses before work) if im in bed, any day, at 8:00am - i'm very poorly!

Get a dishwasher and be quieter or stay in bed longer. You could put washing in machine the night before. I always wanted a good lie in at weekends, luckily we all did but generally it was my husband who was more alert than me in the morning.

Dishwashers are mint, I don’t understand people not having them. I would rather than no washing machine than no dishwasher

Ffs, why are so many posters suggesting 'get a dishwasher' as if it's some brand new, amazing technology the OP wouldn't have heard of?

Dishwashers have been around for decades, it's not like OP is unaware of them and what they do.

If they don't have one, it's either because they've made the decision not to get them, or because they don't have space/plumbing or can't afford one. None of which are magically altered by randoms on MN making state-the-bleeding-obvious suggestions.

Besides which the dishes are just one issue. If the DH is lazy and doesn't pull his weight (not enough info supplied to tell), all that would happen with a dishwasher is OP would be frustrated that she's always the one to pre-rinse/load/unload/clean it, let alone all the other household chores. It wouldn't solve the real issue.

Yeah of course you would. Of course you would rather stand for hours washing every piece of your families clothing by hand, every towel, every piece of bedding. Of course you would rather then stand and put every piece of clothing through a mangle or worse stand and hand wring them. Then have them dripping wet and unable to dry for days because they haven't been spun. Course you would.

If you only have a meals worth of dishes is actually quicker to just wash them in the sink. It's really no big deal.

God I wish I had that energy, anything under 8 I feel terrible