Page 23 | For being rude to an old lady

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 2025-02-28T18:13:33+00:00

Doing my food shop at m&s, I was rushing to pick someone up after. I needed some jam. Lady was in the way. I said “excuse me sorry can I just grab that” she just stood there so I proceeded to reach for the jam. She gave me the most disgusting look I have ever recieved. So because today has been a long day I said “ I did actually say excuse me and I did actually ask you to move out of the way” to which she responded “it’s such a me first attitude” I said “you do realise you’re in a supermarket. And you don’t own the supermarket. We all have places to be and people to see darling” and I walked off. am I missing something here. Have I not used correct supermarket etiquette

ThisUsernameIsNowTaken · 02/03/2025 06:32

PsychoHotSauce · 28/02/2025 18:22

My m&s is full of gormless people standing around in the way, painfully choosing their products but no awareness of the space they're in. I always make sure I'm aware of my surroundings and am happy to jump out of the way with a smile, but equally if someone insists on standing in front of what I need and won't move/expects me to wait indefinitely then I'll just lean around them.

I wouldn't even register a "filthy look" as I'd have been on my way and forgotten about it. I certainly wouldn't have got into a sanctimonious speech when you're not sure if she was hard of hearing, deep in thought, or just rude.

That's why I shop at Lidl.

rainydaysandrainbows · 02/03/2025 06:59

Zoeyclash · 02/03/2025 06:22

To be honest, the tone of your conversation with the lady in M&S makes you sound rude, and so does the tone of your replies to posters on here.

Agreed

Sounds like OP started a thread just for people to agree with her

Laserwho · 02/03/2025 08:28

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 28/02/2025 23:50

By old I mean 60 at best. She wasn’t lacking agility.

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I'm younger than 60 and I do lack agility, but you wouldn't know that by looking at me. I wouldn't be able to jump out of the way at your request, I shouldn't have to anyway. If you had leaned across me you would have got more than a look. Wait, the world does not revolve around you and your need to rush.

graceinspace999 · 02/03/2025 09:30

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 01/03/2025 14:27

Recently, I was wanting a jar of seedless strawberry jam for my grandson's toast. Shopping in M&S (very new store and very busy where I live) I went back to get it three times as there was an elderly couple (at least 20 yrs older than me) standing, blocking the shelves. They each had a trolley (both practically empty) - possibly using them as walking aids, and they took up a good proportion of the aisle. I did not say excuse me as I thought they would move on eventually and I would double back for the jam.

In the end I had carried on shopping and I forgot to go back and went home without the jam, which made my grandson cry the following morning as it's one of the only things he'll eat (jam on toast/jam sandwich) for breakfast. He refused all other breakfast suggestions (wouldn't have toast, doesn't like butter, wouldn't have dry toast) and went to school hungry.

I wouldn't dream of 'shifting' people out of the way - they were there first and will occupy the space for as long as they need to. I always accommodate those who are 'in front of me/get there before me'. I remember complaining of having to wait for something when I was very little and my grandmother viciously snapped (I remember her spitting in my face during the telling off) 'well get up earlier and be first then' which made me cry - very vivid memory of crying but not why we were held up/waiting. I remember feeling full of shame for complaining.

My husband, on the other hand, would have 'shifted' them by barging through and reaching in front of their faces for what he wanted. He would not have said excuse me. That approach would not have resulted in my grandson's tears - happy grandson, having had breakfast before school.

I think OP was rude - H would not think OP was rude.

One POV cancels the other so no point in me posting - other than it reminded me of upsetting my grandson last week.

He only eats cheese squares on toast for dinner and luckily, I had some in the fridge for home time. I now have strawberry jam and will not run out of it in future - one open, one spare. (Usually only have cherry jam and lime marmalade.)

His safe foods rarely change, but had changed during half term. I need more notice next time - and a slightly better memory. Could have kicked myself for forgetting the bloody jam.

If only H would do the shopping all the time .... and shove all the old people out of the way.

Maybe you should start a thread about your spoiled grandson and jam.

Imagine what he’s going to be like as an adult 😳

LittleBigHead · 02/03/2025 09:53

KatyaKabanova · 01/03/2025 13:24

Well, it'll hit them hard one day.

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Indeed!

But getting old is better than the alternative

KatyaKabanova · 02/03/2025 09:56

LittleBigHead · 02/03/2025 09:53

Indeed!

But getting old is better than the alternative

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However, the ageism on this site just confirms how negative people are.

llovemermaidgin · 02/03/2025 11:33

rainydaysandrainbows · 02/03/2025 06:59

Agreed

Sounds like OP started a thread just for people to agree with her

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She comes across as a t--t with the 'darling' / 'cheryl' business. Just duck off dear.

Swiftie1878 · 02/03/2025 11:56

The tone of what you said and calling her ‘darling’… rude.
Being impatient is fine, and engaging in a convo to get her to move more quickly is fine. But what you did? Not fine. Imo.

queenMab99 · 02/03/2025 11:57

No one rushes round the shops picking up things quickly like a robot the whole time. Most people browse some of the time, looking for ideas or for something they can't spot immediately. If someone is in your way, supermarket etiquette is to wait a reasonable amount of time, before saying excuse me, giving them time to move and only when they do step back, reaching past them. Saying excuse me, does not excuse you for immediately, rudely thrusting your arm past their face to reach something, before they have chance to move.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 02/03/2025 23:07

Bad luck OP you failed on your mission to start the latest Boomer bashing post.
I really hope you were not the only person that poor lady engaged with that day.
All you had to say was "Excuse me could I just grab that jar please then I'll be out of your way" and I bet all would have been fine. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar darling.

BasicBeach · 02/03/2025 23:09

You were both BU

Rosscameasdoody · 03/03/2025 04:16

graceinspace999 · 02/03/2025 09:30

Maybe you should start a thread about your spoiled grandson and jam.

Imagine what he’s going to be like as an adult 😳

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Doesn’t sound spoiled to me - from the words ‘safe foods’ l’d say there were deeper issues.

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 03/03/2025 11:11

@graceinspace999

That's offensive. What a horrid comment.

He has ARFID and on ASD pathway.

He struggles and his mum struggles - and you make fun of him???

Wow.

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 03/03/2025 11:24

@graceinspace999

And do you know what makes me sick to my stomach every day?

Thinking about my grandchildren's futures - one ASD diagnosis and awaiting five more, along with very serious medical issues thrown in.

Next time they are hospitalised and I'm travelling the width of the country to see them, and have a second to sit and think, I shall try and refrain from thinking of ignorant people like you who they will probably come into contact with in the future, far too frequently.

SilkSquare · 03/03/2025 12:05

You thought you were being a smart arse with your comment ending in "darling".
You were just an arse.

couchparsnip · 03/03/2025 12:14

Both of you were rude. If she definitely heard you say excuse me and didn't even acknowledge that you spoke then she was rude first.
You didn't need to retaliate that way but getting ignored, then given a dirty look and then told you had a 'me first' attitude is quite a lot of provocation!

graceinspace999 · 03/03/2025 14:24

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 03/03/2025 11:11

@graceinspace999

That's offensive. What a horrid comment.

He has ARFID and on ASD pathway.

He struggles and his mum struggles - and you make fun of him???

Wow.

I made fun of you and your long post not your grandson.

graceinspace999 · 03/03/2025 14:30

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 03/03/2025 11:24

@graceinspace999

And do you know what makes me sick to my stomach every day?

Thinking about my grandchildren's futures - one ASD diagnosis and awaiting five more, along with very serious medical issues thrown in.

Next time they are hospitalised and I'm travelling the width of the country to see them, and have a second to sit and think, I shall try and refrain from thinking of ignorant people like you who they will probably come into contact with in the future, far too frequently.

Why are you giving yourself a free pass to call me ‘ignorant?’

Do you think I should somehow know that your grandchildren have medical issues?

It seems to me that you hijacked this thread with your long post and are now looking to be offended.

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 03/03/2025 18:08

@graceinspace999

My spoiled grandson eh?

You're still ignorant.

And I don't need to explain myself - like you're trying to do.

ALoversConcerto · 04/03/2025 00:39

I will reserve judging the OP until I know what jam it actually was!

Agix · 04/03/2025 05:22

OP wanted some jam.

A woman was blocking the jam.

OP asked the lady to move, twice. The lady acknowledged her but refused to move.

OP reached over and got her jam.

It's the woman blocking who was rude. What world do the people in this thread live in? What was OP supposed to do? Stand and wait until the women decided she was "allowed" to get her item? Walk out?

No way. If you can't even attempt to move when someone says excuse me, don't be surprised if they barge into you.

Sounds like the woman blocking was on a bit of a power trip for some reason, and genuinely thought she could needlessly make you wait whilst she dallied. You shocked her when you just went and grabbed it anyway, but it was a shock that she - and I'd say most people in this thread - need.

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/03/2025 07:51

Agix · 04/03/2025 05:22

OP wanted some jam.

A woman was blocking the jam.

OP asked the lady to move, twice. The lady acknowledged her but refused to move.

OP reached over and got her jam.

It's the woman blocking who was rude. What world do the people in this thread live in? What was OP supposed to do? Stand and wait until the women decided she was "allowed" to get her item? Walk out?

No way. If you can't even attempt to move when someone says excuse me, don't be surprised if they barge into you.

Sounds like the woman blocking was on a bit of a power trip for some reason, and genuinely thought she could needlessly make you wait whilst she dallied. You shocked her when you just went and grabbed it anyway, but it was a shock that she - and I'd say most people in this thread - need.

We don't know she refused to move. Maybe she was miles away in her own thoughts and didn't catch the OP's 'instructions' to move quickly enough. Anyway, it depends how the OP said it, if it was barked at me rudely I wouldn't jump to attention for her. Most people in supermarkets manage these things amicably.

Laserwho · 04/03/2025 13:34

Agix · 04/03/2025 05:22

OP wanted some jam.

A woman was blocking the jam.

OP asked the lady to move, twice. The lady acknowledged her but refused to move.

OP reached over and got her jam.

It's the woman blocking who was rude. What world do the people in this thread live in? What was OP supposed to do? Stand and wait until the women decided she was "allowed" to get her item? Walk out?

No way. If you can't even attempt to move when someone says excuse me, don't be surprised if they barge into you.

Sounds like the woman blocking was on a bit of a power trip for some reason, and genuinely thought she could needlessly make you wait whilst she dallied. You shocked her when you just went and grabbed it anyway, but it was a shock that she - and I'd say most people in this thread - need.

Yes she should have waited. Asking for someone to move is a request not a demand. If I'm choosing a product I'm not going to just jump out the way, my body wouldn't allow me to anyway. And if you barged me you would most likely knock me down then I would be making assault charges.

Numberfish · 28/04/2025 20:22

Magnastorm · 28/02/2025 18:19

Assuming that it was obvious that the woman heard you and just chose to ignore you, I would absolutely have just reached around her to grab what i needed.

It's a shared space, you don't get to just stand in the fucking way of everybody.

Jesus, who made you Most Important In Supermarket? Even if you make the monumentally unlikely leap that someone is Choosing To Ignore YOU, that doesn’t give you the right to push them out of the way like a toddler. You wait. If an elderly lady ignores you while they briefly finish their thought/stiff movement/don’t hear anyway and you absolutely cannot stand that for ten seconds you need sitting on the naughty step with no dessert for tea. Grow the eff up.