For being rude to an old lady

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

Doing my food shop at m&s, I was rushing to pick someone up after. I needed some jam. Lady was in the way. I said “excuse me sorry can I just grab that” she just stood there so I proceeded to reach for the jam.

She gave me the most disgusting look I have ever recieved.

So because today has been a long day I said “ I did actually say excuse me and I did actually ask you to move out of the way” to which she responded “it’s such a me first attitude” I said “you do realise you’re in a supermarket. And you don’t own the supermarket. We all have places to be and people to see darling” and I walked off.

am I missing something here. Have I not used correct supermarket etiquette

I thought I'd solved the whole conundrum with a jar of Cheryl Jam. But when I looked again it was just "cherry". Foiled again!

Frustrating. Do you remember Bucks Fizz?
I'm wondering if "Making Your Mind Up" was a veiled criticism of the lovely Cheryl Baker?

😂

"Dear M&S, I do enjoy that piped music that you provide in store. Have you ever considered the Bucks Fizz classic, "Making Your Mind Up "? I think it would create the right vibe,
Sincerely,
Cheryl Baker fan"

or some Bob Marley Jammin?

😂

@ForeverDelayedEpiphany "No, politeness costs nothing. If someone can't even say please it's not great."

Saying "excuse me" is polite. I'm sick of ditherers. If you must dawdle in the aisles at least have the self awareness and consideration to respond to a polite request to get out way so someone else can get to something.

This is why I do my food shop online 😂 sick of Cheryl.

Oh come the fuck on, OP. I'm in my 30's and very much lack agility due to (sometimes hidden) disabilities. You don't know the woman's situation and you sound like a stuck up bitch. Hope that helps.

So now you asked twice. In the OP you said you asked and she allegedly gave you a look so you pushed in. In your OP you also call her older and now have taken issue at the fact people bringing that up.

You can't have it both ways.

Maybe she didn't hear you? Maybe she didn't have a list and was thinking what she needed? (I am often guilty of this due to brain fog). You obviously didn't just reach in nicely or it wouldn't have been a big deal.

Who cares that you had to pick up your son? We all have places to be and people to see, darling 🙄.

Get over yourself.

ETA: Sorry, not your son. Someone else's son 🙄.

You were rude to the woman in the supermarket and you are also coming across as rude here on this post. Calling a woman ‘old’ and following it up by saying she was at best, 60. How dare you! I am only a few years off 60 and definitely not old.

Sorry to hear about your mum but I'm falling to see how that's relevant? Is that why you were rude and think you're above people?

It is you, darling, that blew this whole situation out of proportion over a damn jam jar. You and you alone.

I'm sorry but I'm 😂 at you saying the woman had entitled behaviour when you're the only one coming across as entitled.

Again. Your mum bleeding story has no relevance to your post and what happened at the supermarket sorry, m&s, you just keep bringing it up because you don't like being told you were wrong and you're trying to get a bit of sympathy. Just accept you were in the wrong and do better next time.

To be fair, it's highly likely the OP's mum is over 50. Which is far too old to be out running. You need youth and vigour to evade people trying to push you over. Which is probably what caused all this. Her old mum going for a run -;which is a young person's game - really disrupted her day. It's just selfish. As for Cheryl: 'We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this jam.'

There's a mid point surely? Where you go up to the people chatting, stand in their line of sight and say pleasantly "Excuse me, could I just reach past you to the jam?" There a exceptionally high chance that will be greeted with "Oh, sorry, of course you can" and possibly even some pleasantry about how they're in the way. To which you reply "Not at all...". Then maybe some British competitive apologising follows before you all get on with your day. Pleasantly.

"Darling?!!!" that was super rude and inappropriate.

It's only in your little world that "excuse me" isn't polite. Whereas the reply you claim to make (I don't actually believe you're brave enough IRL) is exceptionally rude.

WTH are you going on about? In "my little world", excuse me is polite, but there's nothing wrong with the word please either.

And what reply am I not exceptionally brave enough to make? Have you quoted the wrong person or something?

I couldn’t agree more. Someone being sensible.

Yes I did, I thought you were the weirdo that I was replying to in the post you quoted.

Ah ok - as in - the OP? Fair enough.

I actually wrote a reply upthread saying how awful the OP was - I'm not standing here saying i thought what she did was great..! (Hence my question about your misquote).

@5128gap

I did not say that they were chatting/passing the time of day/deliberately wasting my time - they were considering what to put in their trolley, they were shopping - which they are entitled to do without being instructed to shift. Maybe they didn't usually shop in M&S and had more choice than usual.

I tend not to move people along as I think they've every right to need to be in the same space where I want to be. I'm happy to wait until someone has moved. I don't want to behave like my husband because I think his behaviour is entitled/aggressive/unacceptable and could potentially lead to him getting stabbed one day.

I'm not the supermarket loitering police. I don't have authority to 'move people along'.

I will say something if someone pushes in front of me in a queue. But not if someone is choosing what to put in their trolley, reading a list, reading ingredients, working out unit price etc. I will not push in front of/or reach across anyone - even to get a jar of jam.

Some people can afford the time to saunter around a shop at leisure. Just because someone is in a rush we should not have to apologetically jump out of their way and magically clear the aisles. It doesn't say anywhere before you enter a shop that you must fly around flinging every item you want into your trolley without stopping or obstructing another customer.

OP should not have been rude to the woman - who happens to be my age - old!? Saying excuse me doesn't automatically allow you to reach across, literally barging the person out of the way, who had got there before you. Wait your turn.

No bumbling around the supermarket aisles. No smiles.

No chatting, no dawdling, no dithering, no getting in the way. No sauntering, no standing on one leg, no gazing, no grazing.

No staring, no hard stares, no slacking. No backchat. No snoozing, no snoring. No schmoozing, no floozies, no sneezing.

No begging, no screaming, no weeping. No fussing, no flapping, no fiddling, no foreigners, no fools.

Those are the rules.

To be honest, the tone of your conversation with the lady in M&S makes you sound rude, and so does the tone of your replies to posters on here.