Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

[Purpleturtle43]

I teach a Y1 class and have been a teacher for 20 years. Never have I experienced a class where parents are so unsupportive with regards to homework and providing what they need for class!

The majority of kids don't do their homework or do a really poor job of it. Most days when I ask the children to bring their reading books out at least 5 don't have them despite parents being told weekly the children need their books in school every day as we do daily reading. Many children also so they don't read their reading books at home.

Many parents don't provide their children when the necessary stuff for school for example pencils, indoor shoes, gym kits etc. meaning so much time is spent searching for spare things and we don't have enough supplies to go around.

I am a parent of 3 school aged children and totally understand the struggle, believe me the last thing I feel like doing when I get home all day from teaching kids is to do homework with my own but I always make sure it's done and kids have what they need for school.

I am just getting to the point where I wonder why I am bothering. It takes ages to look out reading books and to prepare homework and upload it online, it all just feels like a big waste of time.

If you don't engage with school can I ask why to give me some insight so I can think of some strategies that may work. I teach in an affluent area so money isn't usually a problem and the school I work in is very mindful of not asking for much, just the basics and we would definitely provide assistance when required.

Lots of people go to Clarks for their DCs shoes. I personally wouldn't put my DC in £10 shoes, I'd rather have 1 well fitting pair.

All the people saying, we don’t want to do projects and craft and what not, OP is asking parents to read. Just read.
Surely that’s not so onerous for the majority of parents (excluding children with SEN, or where parents don’t read or write English well).
All the people saying, ‘there is no benefit to homework at primary level, just reading’…that IS what the OP is asking her parents to do.

@Crateoflemsip That is dreadful communication. As a teacher and mum, neither school I am involved with has communication that is that awful!

My kids school is terrible for this. In the last months we have been given a weeks notice for 2 separate dress up days, it's a nightmare!

I think it’s likely a societal problem that needs different approaches than solely blaming parents.

Absolutely & I think it's bizarre to not recognise it's a wider issue.

I used to give out 'projects' before I had my own kids. Never given one out since 😂

I don’t know what all the huffing and sighing is about. Do the job, get the salary for the job. How much or little parents engage is by the by.

Ironically the fact it’s an affluent area possibly means less time as perhaps two full time parents. So kids going to after school club and home late. Then maybe swimming/piano/scouts etc. I agree kids should read every night. I don’t agree with homework or spellings in year 1. Schools should provide stationary and the shoes thing is strange? Never heard of changing shoes at school before. Would slippers do that can stay at school? Or a pair of playground wellies

My Ds went to after school club till 6pm. We did not do homework on weeknights in the first few years. He was too tired. My decision and I take responsibility for that.
six years on and he is excelling at school.

Ironic how so many parents on this thread think they are well up on the 'evidence' of limited impact of homework (likely never having actually read any pedagogical research), as they think this supports their argument that it's too much effort check their child is reading

Homework for younger kids is silly.

We used to read every night but the school books bored my child. If we recorded anything other than school books in the reading record they complained, so we just didn't bother with it. We knew our child's reading was fine.

Some parents work full time 5 days a week or more, are juggling shifts, other children, a cost of living crisis, worsening mental health (in themselves and their children). There's less family support. Life's a bit shit atm I'm not surprised families are struggling.

They just prioritise it. I know it's hard, but it depends whether it's a priority or not in your family.

It also depends on the dc, some don't want to read & it's a battle.

This too for me. I love my children and respect teachers, but sometimes I just forget because I’m so knackered and thinking about a billion other things.

My main issue is time.

Dc has after school care, clubs and extra curricular activities every day after school. Dh and I both work. Once we're home all we have time for is dinner, bath then bed. We do read a story to DC every night at bedtime so they are not exactly missing out.

Homework has to be handed in on Friday morning giving us 4 days to complete it. It's impossible.

Maybe if it was spread from Monday- Monday we might have some free time to complete it at the weekend.

Maybe I just need to change my attitude and not bother myself.

Half of this sentence is right.

Some parents are a mess and useless to be honest, my brother whom I loved dearly, was not the best with such things. Two of his dc have done well the other not at all.

This. It feels overwhelming, but we fit in reading most days (extra curricular dependent) and now they are later primary, spelling.

We do homework daily though so still doing it on the days I work.

But if you have 2 days off that does make a difference...

As a 70’s kid who went to a school taught reading, writing and arithmetic, religion, art and games, loads of fun, no home work. I became a Millenium Mum who coached my little darling first born and we did everything by the book. I know I grew up happier and more resilient and I think parents care but are tired. Just let the kids have fun. The learning comes after.

I despised homework at that age. 3dc, working until 5pm, dc over tired and hungry by the time we were home so food then bed. On earlier work night finishes dc had swimming lessons. We did reading every night at bedtime but all 3 dc on the bed together. Homework, without fail, resulted in at least one dc crying she was stupid. While you think it’s beneficial, I would argue it’s not if the dc feels like crap and it takes 2 hours to write a sentence.

i think family life is complicated. With dd1 i was all over it but with toddler twins as well and dh working away from home, i basically made myself ill. We would often do it at weekends and accepted half a day works be rubbish each weekend. Homework like play a game with your family/go for a walk and find xyz would be so much better.

Homework that needs lots of parental intervention is unrealistic and builds on inequalities.

what impact do you actually think the homework has for 6 year olds?
www.hull.ac.uk/work-with-us/more/media-centre/news/2022/primary-school-children-get-little-academic-benefit-from-homework

Yeah any shoes or slippers and there is a shoe rack to put them on. Some bring wellies too, we aren't fussy as long as mud isn't getting dragged though the school.

I didn't bother with homework beyond spellings and timetables practice on primary. There's no evidence that it improves outcomes. We also didn't bother with the school reading books as my kids found them boring and I wanted reading at home to be a fun experience.

However, we encouraged reading at home and provided plenty of wide ranging reading materials, talked to them about everything, took them to lots of places, supported a wide range of extra-curricular and generally gave them an enriching childhood. We engaged tutors when they needed more support.

All three of my kids are high achievers with lots of interests and are generally bright, well-rounded, polite, kind, popular, engaged kids so it worked!

Oh god, this was my mum when I was a kid. She was a single mum, full time job in the day and cleaning job at night. My brother used to look after us. She was barely able to get our dinners sorted and lunch box filled poor thing. She killed herself trying to provide for us so yes unfortunately we were often unprepared for school.

Which half?

So year 1 are 5 and 6 year old children.

School is a long day for them. Mine would explode out of school full of suppressed energy and often frustration at the petty restrictions that are normal in school life.

When they get home they need time to relax, play, spend time with family, eat and get ready for bed.

I read to my children, but what I did not do was dutifully write some inane comment daily and sign that I had done so. Why would I? Why did the teacher need 'proof' of actions taking place within my own home?

Parents have no ability to change things at school - even the things they disagree with. Yet teachers feel able to dictate what happens within a home environment - one headteacher even specified bedtimes.

School need to stick to issues in school and leave home to parents.

Yes yes home/school co-operation is key - but that only ever works in one direction I find.