Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

[Purpleturtle43]

I teach a Y1 class and have been a teacher for 20 years. Never have I experienced a class where parents are so unsupportive with regards to homework and providing what they need for class!

The majority of kids don't do their homework or do a really poor job of it. Most days when I ask the children to bring their reading books out at least 5 don't have them despite parents being told weekly the children need their books in school every day as we do daily reading. Many children also so they don't read their reading books at home.

Many parents don't provide their children when the necessary stuff for school for example pencils, indoor shoes, gym kits etc. meaning so much time is spent searching for spare things and we don't have enough supplies to go around.

I am a parent of 3 school aged children and totally understand the struggle, believe me the last thing I feel like doing when I get home all day from teaching kids is to do homework with my own but I always make sure it's done and kids have what they need for school.

I am just getting to the point where I wonder why I am bothering. It takes ages to look out reading books and to prepare homework and upload it online, it all just feels like a big waste of time.

If you don't engage with school can I ask why to give me some insight so I can think of some strategies that may work. I teach in an affluent area so money isn't usually a problem and the school I work in is very mindful of not asking for much, just the basics and we would definitely provide assistance when required.

Why do you think spelling tests will improve reading?

That was 2 points to answer different questions.

Just checked back the thread after someone commented and noticed that 68% people think IANBU which is so weird as most of the comments are saying I am wrong 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Not really @Purpleturtle43 people who agree won’t waste time writing a comment it’s just duplication. Plus, my comment was I half agreed half didn’t so I didn’t actually vote. It just goes to show data requires care to fully understand.

Totally agree my children are older than yours in primary school they don't do home work. My secondary child does her home work. Only because she's gets punished if she does not.

School /life balance is a mess constant pressure on kids

Then when they leave work life balance is messed up to.

High school homework I agree with though, but primary school I don't think it should be this much.

There’s simply too much engagement expected from primary schools nowadays.

For my primary aged DC I have to manage the following:

Mutliple emails a week from the school
Text messages from the school
Expectation to being in science models
Dress up for World Book Day
Homework on 2 different systems
Book reading and completing evidence booklet
topping up parent pay
pre selecting lunches

I have another secondary aged DC and work full time.

Is our family not permitted any downtime?

I don't agree with secondary home work. I just think that kids need a good amount of down time. Teenage years are hard I just think its needed for mental heath and general well being. That's just my opinion though. My secondary kids do their home work. I don't actually tell them what I think because its wouldn't be helpful if I did.

The pressure is real. Most houses have 2 full time working parents or a single parent family who also works full time. They have ti then organise extra curricular activities otherwise they get told the kids are missing out. They also need to cook from scratch, do all homework, baths, quality time then bed. Plus house work and whatever they need to do for their day tomorrow all in the space of about 5 hours every night.

In my house, homework gets done in primary but up until year 3 it isn't priority. I am there to help if needed. If they choose not to do the homework. That's their choice. School never seems to make it anyway! So who knows if ita right, wrong or if they are inproving or not!

Eldest is in secondary. He has homework every night. It's his responsibility. I am there to help when asked.

We are a 2 parent full time working household with 4 kids. And life styles have changed dramatically to when we where kids.

Perhaps they know that homework in primary (aside from reading) does not help attainment? Your list does sound like a lot (why do they need indoor shoes?!). Are your comms clear about books and expectations on what is required each day?
Most parents work and schools message on about 6 different platforms with key information often buried away while they harp on about attendance stats so the parents might not know what is obvious to you. If it’s not working change it. Keep the daily reading books at school and send other books home which don’t get changed until the old one comes back etc.

Both my kids are neurodivergent, neither have done homework regularly in primary. School is often a horrible experience for both of them for different reasons, and they don't actually learn anything from the homework set, so why would I bother making them do it? Secondary, yes eldest does his homework (mostly with minimal effort, but it gets handed in).

Well spelling tests are not homework. Spelling is a weird thing to give as homework because how do you measure a child has done it? What do you expect parents to do to improve reading?

Spelling words are given as homework and the spelling test is done in class on a Friday to assess their knowledge of the spelling words. We also work on the spelling words in class which follow a different phonics sound each week.

The more a child reads the better they get at it. Reading done at home is invaluable as it's one on one. With big class sizes it's very difficult for teachers to give reading input to each individual child so any additional reinforcement the get at home is hugely beneficial.

Obviously it's up to everyone how much time/effort they put into helping their children progress. I was just wondering people's points of views on it as it takes a long time for teachers to prepare and mark homework for numerous ability groups and wondering if the time could be used more effectively when parents aren't engaging with it anyway.

You make a very fair point

When my DCH were at school they tried to listen to every child read. Because the teachers knew the books so well they would have two children reading at the same time, but as it was a private school there were not so many children to get through

I'm considering approaching the local primary to see if they need people to listen to children read

I'm sure they would bite your hand off for that.

My dcs' primary school had a catch up reading programme for pupils in the juniors and I volunteered to help. I really love working with children and helping them. However it did strike me as a bit absurd that the school had to ask for volunteers to come in and read with dcs when their own parents wouldn't. I know all that matters is what's best for the children but it winds me up when people won't fulfill their responsibilities as parents.
In my school, I have to find time every day to do speech and language therapy interventions with two pupils in my class. I care a lot about this as both my ds and my dn needed speech therapy. However while I work with my pupils at school, their parents aren't expected to do anything at home. Both my SIL and I would do the interventions given by the SLT at home. I don't understand why this is now the school's responsibility. It is just another example of our growing workload.

I'm dyslexic.

I have never got more than about 50% on a spelling test, and it wasn't because I didn't try.

Eventually when I was about 14 the whole year did a test to gage reading level and I went off the scale.

I still can't spell.

One thing our school pointed out to me when I volunteered to hear kids read was that 1 in 6 British adults struggle with literacy. And many immigrants also struggle with reading English. In our school, both these groups were over represented compared to the general population. The estimated that at least a quarter of the kids had parents who would struggle to read the books their children were taking home.

Of course there are some feckless, can’t be arsed parents out there, but lots of the kids you will have been listening to will have parents who don’t have the ease with English that you do and lack the skills and confidence to help their children in this way.

I'm sorry that these are the kind of parents you have to deal with (or not) as they don't engage.

I reiterate that some parents do not value education. I always engaged with the school and supported my kids.

It does depend on the demographic in your area though. Those who don't engage, probably had a similar upbringing and the cycle repeats.

Of course anyone with common sense knows that teachers aren't working 5 hours a day. What nonsense.

People are saying you are not being unreasonable per se for wanting engagement from parents at home. However there is a lot of nuance to exactly how and why it’s falling down.