Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

[Purpleturtle43]

I teach a Y1 class and have been a teacher for 20 years. Never have I experienced a class where parents are so unsupportive with regards to homework and providing what they need for class!

The majority of kids don't do their homework or do a really poor job of it. Most days when I ask the children to bring their reading books out at least 5 don't have them despite parents being told weekly the children need their books in school every day as we do daily reading. Many children also so they don't read their reading books at home.

Many parents don't provide their children when the necessary stuff for school for example pencils, indoor shoes, gym kits etc. meaning so much time is spent searching for spare things and we don't have enough supplies to go around.

I am a parent of 3 school aged children and totally understand the struggle, believe me the last thing I feel like doing when I get home all day from teaching kids is to do homework with my own but I always make sure it's done and kids have what they need for school.

I am just getting to the point where I wonder why I am bothering. It takes ages to look out reading books and to prepare homework and upload it online, it all just feels like a big waste of time.

If you don't engage with school can I ask why to give me some insight so I can think of some strategies that may work. I teach in an affluent area so money isn't usually a problem and the school I work in is very mindful of not asking for much, just the basics and we would definitely provide assistance when required.

I work 3 days a week but we do homework every night. Usually get in from after school clubs about 5.30-6, sometimes a bit earlier, sometimes a bit later depending on the day of the week.

DD was somewhat older when at parents evening a teacher complained to me that DD never had a pencil and it wasted so much time in the lesson finding a spare one for her. I felt humiliated as obviously this was a problem but why wait until parents evening. I kept a pack of pencils in the car from then on and checked every morning when DD got out of the car that she had one.

I had never met this teacher until parents evening but a note or an email and I would have had it sorted straight away

Homework is a waste of time at that age.

Why are the kids not going in to school in PE kit on PE days? This is a change since Covid which has saved so much time and lost kit.

Why do children need indoor shoes? I’ve never been asked to provide indoor shoes.

Children at my sons’s primary have all learning resources provided and I wouldn’t expect to provide pencils and stationery at that age.

Reading - yes - parents should support this of course. But this is the only point I agree with.

I'd say if the books are sometimes in bags and sometimes not that's an indication that they are being taken out and read at home. Sometimes I notice my child's book on the table after I've already done the school run but it's because we've read it the night before. If we never read it then it would just stay in his bag.

I'd be more likely to do homework if they were given a sheet but we have to log in and then print it ourselves and then photograph it to submit it. It's such a lot of time especially when mine have an activity most nights after school, the days they don't they are with their dad and he won't do homework.

That's a good point actually, at dcs school they upload some homework onto the site which I then need to print off, photograph dc working on it & send them in. It's so long winded. Even the apps are a pain because you have to make sure the phone is charged, that you don't need it for something etc. Just give me a textbook.

I'd love my son to have a teacher like you. I do work with him at home but am no expert in what I'm doing and would love daily homework to guide me.

Unfortunately, although he has a nice teacher, he frequently has the same reading book for 2 weeks (finishes it in 2 or 3 days with me). He does have weekend homework, but it's not always accessible to him. Regardless, we always do it. They don't read individually, daily at his school (due to staffing levels I guess), but I'd also love it if they could (I volunteered to be a school reader but got no reply from the school).

My Reception child has books to read at home every week and my Year 1 has different homework every night. Tonight was two pages of maths, a reading book and a list of eight words to practice writing/learning ahead of a spelling test on Friday. It's not much!

🙄

I also wish teachers would go back to printed homework it was much easier. My child is always faffing about with logins and also trying to her to stay on her homework and not stray to Netflix is a temptation.

@Strawber mine have school chrome books but i often have to watch them as they will go on a game.

I work 3 days a week but we do homework every night. Usually get in from after school clubs about 5.30-6, sometimes a bit earlier, sometimes a bit later depending on the day of the week.

Lots of working parents will be getting in at 6 or 6.30pm 5 days a week.

There's absolutely no pedagogical evidenxe that 5 year olds doing homework improves outcomes except where schools are underperforming

We have a very muddy playground so children are asked to change into indoor shoes when they get into class to keep the classrooms cleaner and easier for the cleaners who get very little time to clean a lot of classroom. I don't think it's too much to ask.

Does your child not take a pencil case to school?

I would also say that as parents, we are bombarded with information from the school. Constant emails and messages across three different apps; pay for the school disco,
give permission for this school trip, costume for the play, bring a cardboard box on Friday, red nose day, world book day, bring something for the raffle.

Add in an extra sibling or two, and two full-time working parents. And extra-curriculars such as instrument lessons or gymnastics. I’m afraid you are being very unreasonable to judge. Homework for 5/6 year olds 🙄

Do parents really have to provide own pencil?
If it’s not a poor area, i would prefer just being told to pay £5 each to cover pencils and other supplies at school. Then teacher buys enough pencils for the whole class for the year

I mean were we live you have to provide everything from pencils to paper, so it’s seems normal. But obviously it’s not working well at yours and it would be one less thing

I agree OP - I have 2 DC - one in Yr5 & other in Yr2. The Yr2 DC has spellings to learn each week, 5mins of Numbots a day & daily reading. We've instilled & enforced that they have to do homework - spellings are done before school, so we can do more work after school if needed; Numbots is done after school & reading at bedtime. & yes, we work & are busy with clubs for both DC & still manage it all plus extra that DC in Yr5 has. Both DC accept this & get on with it, which will hopefully set them up for secondary.

Having spoken to other parents their reasons are:
Child doesn't like reading or the school books
Not enough time
Child doesn't like it therefore parent doesn't want to deal with the resulting meltdown
Child will only do one thing, so parent has to choose which to prioritise
Parent doesn't see the point in homework so won't make them do it

Unfortunately I'm not sure there is much you can do. If the parents won't engage, there's not much you can do to change that - it a similar experience that I get as a PTA Chair.

My DCs did hopelessly in Y1 spelling tests and we didn't bother practising after they started getting so discouraged. DS has dyspraxia and you couldn't read any of his letters. I asked for him to use magnetic letters and was ignored. DD was quite behind at that age and we concentrated on reading.
I really don't see the point in spelling tests in Y1.

I am moderately engaged (and also a teacher!). It sounds frustrating for you - I think it's a combination of unrealistic expectations from your school/authority and just parents being busy.

My kids school doesn't do homework other than reading books. I don't engage with the reading books because they are boring, outdated and don't always match my kids ability so I let them choose their own.
Mine both bring a pencil case to school so as far as I know they're prepared but I wouldn't necessarily see it as a massive issue if a P1 kid didn't have a pencil. In my own school plenty of kids don't bring stationery - I just have a jar of pens/pencils/rulers etc and they can help themselves.

I don't make mine do any homework or even ask about it anymore - y4 now. I just don't believe in homework at primary and no indication she needs the extra help

My dc also didn't have to have a pencil case in Yr1

Thank you. I honestly feel like I knock my pan in providing reading books, ensuring they are changed every week, listening to their reading, chasing up books which haven't been sent back before giving a new one etc. I always make sure I provide printed homework too.

For children that never ever read at home, just keep their books at school and make sure they read to Teacher/TAs/parent helpers as often as possible. I've found it's not necessarily the families you expect that don't read at home. Some families believe school teaches they don't. One parent got very shitty his child was falling behind others having been ahead. She didn't read at home, others did. It was that simple. Anyway parent fixed it by switching to a private school where he could pay for breakfast club and after school homework club and never bother to engage with his daughter again. School then did everything

Because I'm not trying to get a very tired 5/6 year old to read or learn spellings at 6pm after getting home from the child minders when ive still got to do tea and bath time is counter productive...We had to be up again and ready to leave the house at 7.15 am so it's a long day for little ones...I chose to spend the spare 20 mins reading to my kids at bed time and hopefully giving them a life long love of books and reading instead of battling biff and kip

I teach secondary and see the same. At parents' evening recently, a mother self-righteously told me that she was 'on it' with her daughter.

I explained that she'd missed the last four homework deadlines and still had one outstanding, and this needed to be done at home instead of weekly lunchtime detention with me.

She told me I must not have made it clear to the class that the homework wasn't optional and I should probably reiterate to them all.

I missed this bit. Honestly, you say it's an affluent area but multiple kids, multiple pairs of shoes, you never know everyone's circumstances... If I had to provide pairs of indoor shoes for all my kids for school there'd be times where I would have had to wait until payday and my kids wouldn't have had the right shoes... Lay off the judgement.

I work 3 days a week but we do homework every night. Usually get in from after school clubs about 5.30-6,

Does your own school not offer wrap around care from 7:30am to 6pm?

Mine don't do it during the week as it's all online. If they have a paper worksheet I can keep half an eye on them whilst they get on with it and just pop over for a minute to explain anything they are struggling with. I just don't have time to fully supervise them on a device with free internet access, and then deal with the tantrum when I remove the screen (no screens during the week rule is totally screwed when it becomes no screens apart from this homework school is making you do) around a FT, 40 hour, working week and extracurricular activities. Also we also only have one device that runs the apps as the kids fires don't support them (and they don't have permission to browse the web on them). Means we have to do homework sequentially so it takes twice a long!