Page 11 | To feel threatened by OW

Original poster

Preear · 27/02/2025 20:32

Newname85 · 27/02/2025 20:20

How have they treated you badly ?

Are you saying taking the kids out on a holiday is like treating you badly?

I really don’t see why you should have a problem with it - She was nice to the kids and the kids came back happy! What exactly does this have to do with you ?

Are you financially independent, @Preear ? What is worrying you so much?

Jesus Christ you just don’t get it

OP posts:

Milosc · 27/02/2025 20:32

HornyHornersPinger · 27/02/2025 20:24

And goady.

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Completely agree! Newname85 has been downright rude and cannot read! The OP clearly said her ExH was spending all his time for months with this woman investing in her and going on trips and evenings with her while they were married. I would definitely describe her as the OW. Doesn't matter if they are now a couple, she was still the catalyst to end the marriage and the OW. The OP finally got tired of it and told him to leave. I guess she was supposed to keep having sex with her husband and making him happy while he was pursuing another woman 🙄 Some of these posts are unreal.

Also, why respect the opinion of anyone who started a thread asking how to have an affair. Clearly Newname85 morals are on the floor and not fit to give advice on what makes an OW or not 🤣

Newname85 · 27/02/2025 20:37

@Preear you have two choices :

Accept things as they are and think about how best you can come out of this and find happiness. Think of how you and kids can also benefit from the situation.
Continue to be jealous, insecure and bitter; twist narratives to blame others; and make your own life miserable.

MyLimeGuide · 27/02/2025 20:39

Newname85 · 27/02/2025 20:37

@Preear you have two choices :

Accept things as they are and think about how best you can come out of this and find happiness. Think of how you and kids can also benefit from the situation.
Continue to be jealous, insecure and bitter; twist narratives to blame others; and make your own life miserable.

You are a very unkind human being. Go back to your affairs and leave OP alone.

Newname85 · 27/02/2025 20:40

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Newname85 · 27/02/2025 20:42

Regardless of how the relationship started, OP doesn’t get to control where the other parent takes the kids as long as the kids are safe and happy.

Milosc · 27/02/2025 20:42

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How do you know me in real life? You don't even know my name or where I live. How absurd. 🤣🤣🤣

HornyHornersPinger · 27/02/2025 20:48

@Preear I wouldn't be engaging with NoMorals85 anymore.

TwistedWonder · 27/02/2025 20:51

HornyHornersPinger · 27/02/2025 20:48

@Preear I wouldn't be engaging with NoMorals85 anymore.

I agree - OP she’s a goady wind up merchant who is lacking in any sort of moral standards.

Please stop responding and letting her wind you up - shes thriving on the attention

Enough4me · 27/02/2025 23:44

OP there are a couple of very sad individuals on here who are desperate to split up families and ruin DCs lives, part of an OW fanclub. They've got a bit of time on their hands so popped in on here to spread some misery.
One day their outlook may become more considerate, until then at least you can know they must be fed up with their lives for so much negativity.

TunnocksOrDeath · 27/02/2025 23:59

Porkyporkchop · 25/02/2025 10:14

You are their mother and they will never replace you. A mums love is special and always with our kids from the moment they draw breath. You are irreplaceable. I went through this, with the cool, slim girlfriend coming in and being “amazing”. A year later my dd wasn’t bothered and no longer went to her house from choice. Things will change, know how important you are!

also to add - a relationship based on the hurt of others never works out long term. Karma will come.

The last sentence is so unhelpful. A lot of relationships that start with infidelity actually do last, and if someone is waiting for it all to go wrong so there will be some justice they might have a long and disappointing wait. Sometimes there just is no justice, and even though it is horrible, it's healthier to find a way to deal with that than live in expectation of something that you can't control and which may never happen.

Original poster

Preear · 28/02/2025 07:18

In my honest opinion a man who can walk away from his family and get on with his life like he has no responsibilities is just the lowest of the low. Yes maybe he wins for now, but long term the kids will know was there for them and he has to live with that.

OP posts:

bettydavieseyes · 28/02/2025 07:40

TwistedWonder · 25/02/2025 10:14

You’ve only been split 5 months and he’s already taking your kids on holiday with his new gf and expecting them to play happy families when they are very raw from daddy leaving?

He’s an irresponsible selfish twat imo - it’s not right yo be dragging a new partner into kids lives so soon.

Be kind to yourself OP and keep on reassuring your children.

And you’re right. Jumping into another relationship at this time isn’t a wise choice.

I agree

EmeraldShamrock000 · 28/02/2025 08:07

Indeed my honest opinion a man who can walk away from his family and get on with his life like he has no responsibilities is just the lowest of the low. Yes maybe he wins for now, but long term the kids will know was there for them and he has to live with that.
He is also the type of man who'll eventually stop bothering with his children, depending on his lifestyle.
You're in for a long road with the DC.
Keep quiet along the way, don't make excuses and no name-calling, just be there for them.
He is naturally self-centred.

Original poster

Preear · 28/02/2025 08:11

EmeraldShamrock000 · 28/02/2025 08:07

Indeed my honest opinion a man who can walk away from his family and get on with his life like he has no responsibilities is just the lowest of the low. Yes maybe he wins for now, but long term the kids will know was there for them and he has to live with that.
He is also the type of man who'll eventually stop bothering with his children, depending on his lifestyle.
You're in for a long road with the DC.
Keep quiet along the way, don't make excuses and no name-calling, just be there for them.
He is naturally self-centred.

It’s very said that he see’s his new GF child more than his own.

OP posts:

EmeraldShamrock000 · 28/02/2025 08:16

Yes, it is, they'll have no interest in him when they're older, in the meantime, he going to break their heart.
Prepare now, look into local counselling services, family support services, he may not, I hope I am wrong.

Createausername1970 · 28/02/2025 08:20

Preear · 25/02/2025 10:01

I have lost all of my confidence since ex left me for somebody else. We have 2 kids who are 4 and 7 and they have just been on holiday with them and my son is now crying because he kisses dad (he is 4) my daughter however said it didn’t feel right being on holiday without me. I am so worried that this woman is going to my place. I can’t afford to take them on holiday etc and I don’t want another man right now (it’s only been 5 months since we split) somebody tell me to get a grip

Aw 💐💐

No-one will ever take your place. You are their mum.

It doesn't seem so now, but looking ahead to years to come, if your kids can forge a reasonable relationship with a step parent then it's good for everyone. But getting on OK with a step-mum doesn't take away how they feel about you.

We adopted our DS and a couple of years ago he rekindled his relationship with his birth family and went to stay with his birth mum for a weekend. I was convinced he wasn't coming back and I cried all weekend, I was heartbroken. Well, he came back, and was completely baffled as to why I was so relieved and said " you're my mum " and I cried again.

Be kind to yourself, it's early days, but you are mum!

EmeraldShamrock000 · 28/02/2025 08:57

Well, he came back, and was completely baffled as to why I was so relieved and said " you're my mum " and I cried again.

So beautiful. 💕

TwoShades1 · 28/02/2025 09:14

I’m a step mum and have been around since the kids were little and I definitely don’t think I’ve replaced their mum in any way. They obviously still spend loads of time with their mum and with our current set up I definitely do quite a lot of “mum” things due to the amount of time they are at our house. But I hope I’ve been around long enough that there mum doesn’t think I’m trying to replace her.

MyLimeGuide · 28/02/2025 16:59

TunnocksOrDeath · 27/02/2025 23:59

The last sentence is so unhelpful. A lot of relationships that start with infidelity actually do last, and if someone is waiting for it all to go wrong so there will be some justice they might have a long and disappointing wait. Sometimes there just is no justice, and even though it is horrible, it's healthier to find a way to deal with that than live in expectation of something that you can't control and which may never happen.

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Are you in the OW fanclub too?😂

Auldy · 28/02/2025 17:07

MyLimeGuide · 28/02/2025 16:59

Are you in the OW fanclub too?😂

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Someone knows talking about karma is a bullshit waste of energy so they must be part of a "OW fanclub"? Are you ok?

Karma is the idea that ultimately bad things happen to bad people. So if OP thinks that what has happened to her was a "bad thing" then what has she done in the past to bring about the bad thing? It's illogical magical thinking designed to make us feel better about people who hurt us. But it doesn't work. The people who hurt us don't give a shit. The absolutely best way to deal with people who hurt us is to truly move on to a place of peace and happiness.

MyLimeGuide · 28/02/2025 17:14

Auldy · 28/02/2025 17:07

Someone knows talking about karma is a bullshit waste of energy so they must be part of a "OW fanclub"? Are you ok?

Karma is the idea that ultimately bad things happen to bad people. So if OP thinks that what has happened to her was a "bad thing" then what has she done in the past to bring about the bad thing? It's illogical magical thinking designed to make us feel better about people who hurt us. But it doesn't work. The people who hurt us don't give a shit. The absolutely best way to deal with people who hurt us is to truly move on to a place of peace and happiness.

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Your post makes zero sense and fully out of context. I'm fine btw. If you had read the whole thread you might get it.

Auldy · 28/02/2025 17:25

MyLimeGuide · 28/02/2025 17:14

Your post makes zero sense and fully out of context. I'm fine btw. If you had read the whole thread you might get it.

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I have. Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it doesn't make sense.

Newname85 · 01/03/2025 06:53

@Preear - Do you work? Does your ex pay maintenance without being asked/ reminded?

Newname85 · 01/03/2025 08:30

Zebedee999 · 25/02/2025 13:47

Over time he'll get bored of the kids and also over time they will see you are the one that matters.

4 year olds always want the fun one... but that changes over time as they realise who the true parent is. It will pass.

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Do know OP’s ex? How do you know he’ll get bored of his own kids? Also what’s a “true parent”? Being a good husband and being a good parent are 2 separate things. OP’s ex is probably a shit husband, but from what I can see, he is a good parent.

We don’t have to throw mud at others to make OP feel better. That’ll only make her more delusional.

If OP can learn to deal with her own insecurities, she can forge a working relationship with her ex (and his GF - if she sticks) to create the best possible outcome for the children. A good mother puts children’s needs before her own. This also includes prioritising peace and good outcomes over slander/ revenge.