I pay all the bills, husband pays nothing

[DevonSunSeaSand]

I earn more than my husband but pay for every household bill, food, and holidays. Whilst I understand that it's unusual for this to be the case (the woman earning more), I'm still irritated that he doesn't pay towards joint costs.

He used to contribute to household expenses but never half, and since last year he's paying nothing. His money is all for himself and child maintenance but he still tells me he's broke every month despite earning more than the UK average.

We had a constructive chat a few weeks back about him paying off debt, setting up joint savings and having all our money in one account once he had cleared the loans etc, which he was agreeable to at the time. And then within a few days of the conversation, a new mobile phone costing over £1k arrives. The disappointment.

I'm frankly a bit fed up with it all but feel quite helpless and tired of butting my head on a brick wall.

AIBU for feeling unjust about the finances?

Happy ending as a couple, with a horrid man like that? Too many rom coms, yes, and not the best kind.

Honestly, I would leave.
The sooner you do it, the less you will lose out financially.

Edit: if house in your name then just issue divorce pdq. He may not leave, but you need to get things in motion.

Well yes he should same as women who have male partners who earn more,all adults should contribute financially

You said "I do wish there was a way out of it that meant a happy ending as a couple. Been watching too many rom coms I feel!"

You have! I call them rom cons. We're fed a lie that being with a man makes us happy. We need more films where the woman ends up happy and man free! Statistically married women are less happy than single women.

You could be one of those happy single women!

How long have you been married?

As you’re married, he could have a claim on your house.

Because he hasn’t contributed, you need to minimise the risk.

See a solicitor and get the ball rolling as soon as possible.

You realise that despite MN lore that doesn’t actually work out unless you each bring home the same amount?
But the point that both should contribute according to their earnings and have money to spend themselves is reasonable.

You either have to earn the same amount or be mature people in a healthy relationship.