Rural life has gone to pot

[Thefabulousfrench]

Hi all,

Ergh! Just ergh! Am I being unreasonable for wanting my elderly neighbour to turn his ridiculously loud TV down?
Back story, you might want a drink/snacks for this.

We moved to a semi rural village back in 2018, it's a semi detached bungalow and it was one step away from being unmortgageable it was horrendous, the gas fire was condemned, no hot water, the front garden was a burial plot to a 32 inch tv and rather than clear the place out before we moved in respectfully, the previous owners left broken glass everywhere and the fire ravaged remains of a 3 seater sofa in the back garden. However, we saw potential through the black glossed everything and vivid blood red walls, hey, we even tolerated the spiders that paced through, the size of field mice.

Well we got to work and 4 skips later (considering this was meant to be an EMPTY property) we started to gut the place and take it back to brick. Fast forward 6 months or so log burner in, rewire, new windows, walls down, patio doors in, new bathroom/kitchen, you get the gist, he starts...
Elderly neighbour, hmm maybe late 70's now, he first off decides that our log burner is dropping ash all over his garden furniture (it wasn't) the 2nd time he came around for the same thing, our fire wasn't even on and you could see the culprit over the roof tops, billowing out some mad coloured smoke with bits floating in the wind. He then comes around to tell us he has peas in his drain and it must be us, erm?
He peeks through the fence too to spy on our back garden, so we put a shed there. Ha.
Ok, so rural life, tick, quiet tick, neighbour weird but hey ho, then his wife died!
For the last 6 months he's literally got zero fucks about anything, he has his TV on full bloody blast from 7am to 11pm, he has all his drunken arsehole friends round watching football and they sit there 5 nights out of 7 clapping, cheering and whistling and doing this really weird kinda husky growl. Weird old fuckers!
He has the news on that loud I can hear it word for word, well I have tried being nice, I have tried turning our TV up loud to make a point, I've tried white noise, a dehumidifier and my poor alexa on max volume with some rather bopful clubland choons like haddaway and snap, but all of this was to no avail!
So now, most nights, I end up watching TV on my bed like a teenager in her room, and I'm livid, I own my house and I have the right to sit in my lounge in sodding peace.

Now the old fool knows he's in the wrong as when he sees me on the cul de sac he scurries into his house, he visits the neighbours on the other side of me and he'll loiter in her doorway until I go back in from the front garden before he leaves, weirdo. I do sometimes wait until he's half way across and then take a solitary item out to the bin to catch him out, but he scurries onwards.

I DID feel sorry for him, but not any more, I'm thinking of selling up, I have costed up some sound proofing, we're looking at around £1000, the walls that attach to him are just the lounge and kitchen, all other rooms don't touch, the other option is a conservatory, but why should I spend £££££ cos of his bad behaviour?

Now it gets worse.... PORN! The other day he waited until my other half left for work and he decided to blast porn, he knew I was home alone (woman, 40's, unhealthy gin addiction) all I could hear was moans and groans and oh yeah's (I recorded it and it's quite clear what it is) now I'm not a prude, but seriously yuk, and you could hear him groaning, ergh, ergh and shudder.

So do I
a) drink more gin
b) let everyone in the village know he's a perv
c) move
d) put a conservatory on and hopefully sit in peace
e) tell the council
f) something else
g) cast a spell
h) lose my shit fully

thanks for reading....

I cba with being reasonable and kind anymore, I'm not a bitch I'm actually really caring and kind, but fuck me he's pushing some buttons that send my rage meters through the roof. I also now work from home so that is NOT helping, I've gone from being a full time retail manager, who was out the house for 10+ hours a day to being in these 4 sodding walls all day, so yes, that's really not helping either.

I'm ranting, I need gin.

That's nothing to do with it being rural though

Record the noise, and report to your local council that he's creating a noise so bad, that it's making living in your own home most unpleasant.

Nope it hasn't got anything to do with being rural, I should have made it clearer, we bought the place to have a quieter rural life. (Moved from London)

In my experience you can have rubbish neighbours wherever you live, have them now and we're pretty much rural too.

Kindly, this is a neighbour issue not a rural issue. And he has just lost his wife and clearly has issues predating her demise.

Record each incident, keep a log and get the council out. Eventually it will get resolved but will depend on how long you want to sit it out.

Report to the council and the police for sexual harassment and shame on your village Facebook page with accompanying videos x

I'd step out the front and roar Alfred the whole neighbourhood can hear your porn on tv. Turn it down you dirty fucker or I'm calling the police, each and every time and call them. Report him for sexual harassment and intimidation. Get witnesses in, get the local postie to hear, call the priest and report him. People like him hate being shamed in the village and oh boy can small villages gossip about men like him.

God that sounds awful op. You could try complaining to environmental health/ local council. I had to complain about a drummer that was practising for over an hour daily in his garden. I was pleasantly surprised that they actually came out and had a word. Problem solved.

Have you or your husband spoken to him about the porn watching and noise from tele?

IF you report it to the council I think this needs to be declared if you try to sell your home?

So I wouldn't do that unless you are committed to stay living there.

How about you invite the other neighbours round for a cuppa?

Oh I was hoping you were our neighbours who moved into the house overlooking our farmyard a few years ago 'from London' and have regular complaints about where we park our tractors (spoils the view), the 60 year old tin shed (spoils the view) the smell (spoils their experience of sitting outside in their garden examining the spoiled view), the weather being mostly wet - I'm not wholly convinced they don't think that's something we have done to spite them either.

Sadly you just have a generic neighbour problem not a rural neighbour problem.

That sounds awful. We've had noisy neighbours (in London) but that's horrible.

Do you have a street WhatsApp or Facebook group? If so, tag him with 'please can you turn the porn down, it's very distracting'.
Wait 10-15 mins and then add 'whoops, is this the street group? I thought i was messaging direct'.
My sensible advice is not to play him at his own game by turning the music etc up loud. If you do complain he will too.
Ask him politely to be quiet each time and log it. Make it known to him that you are logging it.

Pop a note through the door saying Bert, you know how your wife god rest her soul was always on at you to turn down the TV? Well, she was right. Turn it down, we can hear it, it's really really loud, including the porn you're watching. Level 15 or lower should do the trick, subtitles are also great. Thanks

Not saying he's right ... he's Not ! BUT ,how much noise and stress did all your renovations and repairs cause Him ,

Start a tiktok channel "weird sh*t my creepy neighbour does", don't show him but trust that him knowing everyone around him is laughing at him, may make him re-think his behaviour.

What does he say when you put your big girl pants on, use your words and ask him to turn the TV down?

Personally I think it sounds like you have buyers remorse - we really didn't need to know about the rubbish in the garden, the gas fire not working.

Contact your council. It's a long slog and my old neighbours didn't give a shit. But it made me feel more in control of the situation. Luckily our old neighbour had a stroke and had to go into a home.

As other suggested upthread, environmental noise officers from the council. They will come and measure the noise, and in some cases provide a recording device. If they find a violation, and he does it again, he faces fines. Another tack is complaining directly to magistrate's court under section 82 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990. You can also use a mediation service. Contact the Citizen's Advice Bureau and they will help you.

Create a sound log for a week each day and go to the council - the sound log will help you demonstrate that it's a nuisance and you will speed up the officers time.

Hopefully a letter will be enough to scare him.

Yeah I was thinking that. Surely subjecting someone to listening to inappropriate content is sexual harassment

Maybe his wife used to keep him in check and now he’s letting his hair down. There might be a trail of thought “ Well these Londoners have made my life a misery with all their renovating, this is payback”
Whats his attitude if you speak reasonably to him?
Does he realise the sound transference is that bad?
Maybe speak to some of his hanger on friends?
Tell him you’ll report him to the environmental health if he doesn’t cut it out 🤔

I love how people are moaning at you about mentioning it’s rural or too many details

this situation sounds awful and I would probably have a long rant about it too.

id call the police for some sort of sexual claim, the loud porn is definitely a step too far.

Honestly if you've already done as much work as you have, just get the soundproofing in. He could die and a noisy af family move in after him or something so it will be worth it longer-term.

@Nutmeg1204 I agree haha I think OP mentioned rural as it was perhaps her dream of living in a lovely rural area and that's gone to pot instead of this is typical behaviour for a rural area (that's how I read it anyway)