Rural life has gone to pot

[Thefabulousfrench]

Hi all,

Ergh! Just ergh! Am I being unreasonable for wanting my elderly neighbour to turn his ridiculously loud TV down?
Back story, you might want a drink/snacks for this.

We moved to a semi rural village back in 2018, it's a semi detached bungalow and it was one step away from being unmortgageable it was horrendous, the gas fire was condemned, no hot water, the front garden was a burial plot to a 32 inch tv and rather than clear the place out before we moved in respectfully, the previous owners left broken glass everywhere and the fire ravaged remains of a 3 seater sofa in the back garden. However, we saw potential through the black glossed everything and vivid blood red walls, hey, we even tolerated the spiders that paced through, the size of field mice.

Well we got to work and 4 skips later (considering this was meant to be an EMPTY property) we started to gut the place and take it back to brick. Fast forward 6 months or so log burner in, rewire, new windows, walls down, patio doors in, new bathroom/kitchen, you get the gist, he starts...
Elderly neighbour, hmm maybe late 70's now, he first off decides that our log burner is dropping ash all over his garden furniture (it wasn't) the 2nd time he came around for the same thing, our fire wasn't even on and you could see the culprit over the roof tops, billowing out some mad coloured smoke with bits floating in the wind. He then comes around to tell us he has peas in his drain and it must be us, erm?
He peeks through the fence too to spy on our back garden, so we put a shed there. Ha.
Ok, so rural life, tick, quiet tick, neighbour weird but hey ho, then his wife died!
For the last 6 months he's literally got zero fucks about anything, he has his TV on full bloody blast from 7am to 11pm, he has all his drunken arsehole friends round watching football and they sit there 5 nights out of 7 clapping, cheering and whistling and doing this really weird kinda husky growl. Weird old fuckers!
He has the news on that loud I can hear it word for word, well I have tried being nice, I have tried turning our TV up loud to make a point, I've tried white noise, a dehumidifier and my poor alexa on max volume with some rather bopful clubland choons like haddaway and snap, but all of this was to no avail!
So now, most nights, I end up watching TV on my bed like a teenager in her room, and I'm livid, I own my house and I have the right to sit in my lounge in sodding peace.

Now the old fool knows he's in the wrong as when he sees me on the cul de sac he scurries into his house, he visits the neighbours on the other side of me and he'll loiter in her doorway until I go back in from the front garden before he leaves, weirdo. I do sometimes wait until he's half way across and then take a solitary item out to the bin to catch him out, but he scurries onwards.

I DID feel sorry for him, but not any more, I'm thinking of selling up, I have costed up some sound proofing, we're looking at around £1000, the walls that attach to him are just the lounge and kitchen, all other rooms don't touch, the other option is a conservatory, but why should I spend £££££ cos of his bad behaviour?

Now it gets worse.... PORN! The other day he waited until my other half left for work and he decided to blast porn, he knew I was home alone (woman, 40's, unhealthy gin addiction) all I could hear was moans and groans and oh yeah's (I recorded it and it's quite clear what it is) now I'm not a prude, but seriously yuk, and you could hear him groaning, ergh, ergh and shudder.

So do I
a) drink more gin
b) let everyone in the village know he's a perv
c) move
d) put a conservatory on and hopefully sit in peace
e) tell the council
f) something else
g) cast a spell
h) lose my shit fully

thanks for reading....

I cba with being reasonable and kind anymore, I'm not a bitch I'm actually really caring and kind, but fuck me he's pushing some buttons that send my rage meters through the roof. I also now work from home so that is NOT helping, I've gone from being a full time retail manager, who was out the house for 10+ hours a day to being in these 4 sodding walls all day, so yes, that's really not helping either.

I'm ranting, I need gin.

I think this too. He's doing this on purpose to wind you up. Was his wife unwell during your building work? I am not excusing his behaviour, just trying to see if there is another angle here.

Title of thread is misleading - nothing to do with being rural - it could happen anywhere in a semi. As others have pointed out .......

I would record the noise and go to environmental health.

What is your other half doing about it?

A, A again and then H.

I'd make an emotionless list of everything you've said here in a letter. Then I'd say you'd prefer to go on living there, but if all of the above doesn't stop, you'll accept the offer to purchase from the gypsies who recently approached you with a cash offer.

Some PP did not read OP. She said - neighbour's wife died (seems recently?) and for last SIX MONTHS this problem has occurred - i e NOT for 7 years as people keep saying.

Well, I mean, you say it has nothing to do with being rural, but the countryside is absolutely rammed with small-minded pricks. MN threads are testament to this, so that could be an aggravating factor here. That and lots of rural types absolutely HATE Londoners (to rhyme with scum).

Only on MN do we hear about living rurally. It’s living IN THE COUNTRY.

Depends if you want to stay.
If yes, get the sound proofing and shame him relentlessly on WA, report to the local police for stalking and consider a harassment order.

If no, I would sell up asap and leave. Unless you have the funds for a new patio…..

I am not good in these situations and would go over there and tell him unless he packs it in immediately, you will retaliate and make HIS life a living hell, his choice, and mean it.

Maybe he's deaf.

Can you see his TV from his front window? If so:

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These wankers are everywhere, my neighbour smokes 60 a day and my house smells like they smoke in my living room.
I'm also rural. Report this fool to the council, he is disgusting.

This is something that struck me too.

If you took the property back to brick there must have been lots of renovation noise for quite a while.

Hell yes they are great, I had one of these and I could turn my last neighbours tv off through the wall. I'd totally forgotten about these haha.

“He knew I was home alone, woman, 40’s, unhealthy gin addiction.”. You must have mad a lot of noise clearing the garden, skips, renovating the house and then you drop in that you are alcoholic. Often people who are gin fuelled can make rather a lot of noise and be a little unusual. At a time when perhaps his wife was dying. It could very much be tit for tat

The walls must be very thin?

This is unfortunately the perils of attached properties. Just because it’s in the country doesn’t mean it will be quiet.

Agreed

My Nan, bless Her, she used to say "Just because somebody is old and miserable and horrible, it doesn't come with age. They were likely young and miserable and horrible too"

Sound proofing doesn’t work. Speaking from (costly) experience.

I’d just move.

You have been making a lot of improvements to your home. With theses improvements comes a hell of a lot of noise , upheaval, annoyance and his wife was dying
I can understand where he's coming from. I had to listen to neigjbours construction noise all summer and beyond. The following summer my son was learning the drums. I felt no guilt and embraced it. He was in attic with sky light open I was downstairs and heard very little. One comment was made but I just thought dont you even dare complain...! The next summer he'd given up the drums and went to uni

Sounds challenging OP! As others have said, comparative to other rural issues, that's not too bad. Our neighbour used to run his tractor for hours on end while he worked on it, with diesel fumes going into our house, while the other side had bonfires every other day throughout the night in summer...

I'd avoid retaliating. He's put up with your DIY noise, and fighting fire with fire won't help you. Draw a line in the sand, go round for a discussion about it all, and if that doesn't work involve thr council.

Sympathies - neighbour noise is the worst.

Put the gin in the bin. You might find it solves a lot of your problems.

We have neighbours a little like this. Make a tonne of noise and let their kids and their makes run feral, I’ve tried to be kind. They will scurry from their cars to inside that would leave Usain Bolt impressed.

I guess you could say you moved in and made a fair bit of noise yourself in diy etc, although only to improve the value of your house and therefor his. So overall it’s positive.
If you want to stay I would stop with the tit for tat although I really DO know why you do. Tell him you will be speaking to the council should it continue, and carry on through with it. Keep a list handy and write everything down, date, time and what the noise is. Enter on a spreadsheet and if you can record some of the noises and keep a very healthy log.

There is no excuse for his behaviour, his wife may have been a calming influence or he could be depressed, but he needs to be snapped out of it for everyone’s sake.

good luck.

I opened the thread expecting to read about out of control hare coursing and vast new housing estates popping up like mushrooms to overwhelm local services...

I vote for black magic + soundproofing.