Rural life has gone to pot

[Thefabulousfrench]

Hi all,

Ergh! Just ergh! Am I being unreasonable for wanting my elderly neighbour to turn his ridiculously loud TV down?
Back story, you might want a drink/snacks for this.

We moved to a semi rural village back in 2018, it's a semi detached bungalow and it was one step away from being unmortgageable it was horrendous, the gas fire was condemned, no hot water, the front garden was a burial plot to a 32 inch tv and rather than clear the place out before we moved in respectfully, the previous owners left broken glass everywhere and the fire ravaged remains of a 3 seater sofa in the back garden. However, we saw potential through the black glossed everything and vivid blood red walls, hey, we even tolerated the spiders that paced through, the size of field mice.

Well we got to work and 4 skips later (considering this was meant to be an EMPTY property) we started to gut the place and take it back to brick. Fast forward 6 months or so log burner in, rewire, new windows, walls down, patio doors in, new bathroom/kitchen, you get the gist, he starts...
Elderly neighbour, hmm maybe late 70's now, he first off decides that our log burner is dropping ash all over his garden furniture (it wasn't) the 2nd time he came around for the same thing, our fire wasn't even on and you could see the culprit over the roof tops, billowing out some mad coloured smoke with bits floating in the wind. He then comes around to tell us he has peas in his drain and it must be us, erm?
He peeks through the fence too to spy on our back garden, so we put a shed there. Ha.
Ok, so rural life, tick, quiet tick, neighbour weird but hey ho, then his wife died!
For the last 6 months he's literally got zero fucks about anything, he has his TV on full bloody blast from 7am to 11pm, he has all his drunken arsehole friends round watching football and they sit there 5 nights out of 7 clapping, cheering and whistling and doing this really weird kinda husky growl. Weird old fuckers!
He has the news on that loud I can hear it word for word, well I have tried being nice, I have tried turning our TV up loud to make a point, I've tried white noise, a dehumidifier and my poor alexa on max volume with some rather bopful clubland choons like haddaway and snap, but all of this was to no avail!
So now, most nights, I end up watching TV on my bed like a teenager in her room, and I'm livid, I own my house and I have the right to sit in my lounge in sodding peace.

Now the old fool knows he's in the wrong as when he sees me on the cul de sac he scurries into his house, he visits the neighbours on the other side of me and he'll loiter in her doorway until I go back in from the front garden before he leaves, weirdo. I do sometimes wait until he's half way across and then take a solitary item out to the bin to catch him out, but he scurries onwards.

I DID feel sorry for him, but not any more, I'm thinking of selling up, I have costed up some sound proofing, we're looking at around £1000, the walls that attach to him are just the lounge and kitchen, all other rooms don't touch, the other option is a conservatory, but why should I spend £££££ cos of his bad behaviour?

Now it gets worse.... PORN! The other day he waited until my other half left for work and he decided to blast porn, he knew I was home alone (woman, 40's, unhealthy gin addiction) all I could hear was moans and groans and oh yeah's (I recorded it and it's quite clear what it is) now I'm not a prude, but seriously yuk, and you could hear him groaning, ergh, ergh and shudder.

So do I
a) drink more gin
b) let everyone in the village know he's a perv
c) move
d) put a conservatory on and hopefully sit in peace
e) tell the council
f) something else
g) cast a spell
h) lose my shit fully

thanks for reading....

I cba with being reasonable and kind anymore, I'm not a bitch I'm actually really caring and kind, but fuck me he's pushing some buttons that send my rage meters through the roof. I also now work from home so that is NOT helping, I've gone from being a full time retail manager, who was out the house for 10+ hours a day to being in these 4 sodding walls all day, so yes, that's really not helping either.

I'm ranting, I need gin.

Report to council and social services. He is elderly on his own and his wife has just died, he may have mental health issues

Have you thought of contacting adult social services ? It might trigger some help from the council without it becoming a recorded neighbour dispute as if he’s drinking he might not be coping in other ways

Why don't you just ring his door bell incessantly/knock on his door till he answers then complain at length and explicitly what the problem is and how it affects you??

yes I did read it thanks.

I never inferred he was turning his TV up in retaliation for her noise or that her work was uneccessary.. It's just the entitlement of her. She obviously DID make noise yet now complaining about him as though he is some deviant. Rural life not as perfect as she expected. Surely easier to ask the bloke to turn his TV down a bit. Jeez it's not a difficult concept.

Tip for rural life-make it your business to get on with your neighbours :)

Honestly, I think I'd either get a FT job that's out of the house again, or I'd just put the house on the market and move. If you start a noise complaint with the council you'll need to declare this if/when you sell, so unless you're committed to staying and seeing it through and sorting it out (which I suspect will only happen with his death), then I honestly wouldn't bother. I'm very sensitive to noise, so for me this living situation would be a complete no-no.

I would need a gin if I read all of your opening post!

Ask him to get a hearing aid

make a recording in your house of the tv and take it round

Could you ask him to use headphones?

I feel like you should have moved somewhere remote to get quiet, rural cul de sacs aren't thst different to urban ones.

You forgot another option: Hire a hit man, apparently they are not that expensive (so I've heard).

The bloke sounds like a right bastard. Ignore all the "be kind kind, he's an old man" crap. Sounds like it was only his wife keeping him in check.

I'd be inclined to report via the council. However, if you can afford it, I would probably install sound insulation as you never know how noisy the next incumbent might be once the git moves or dies.

Luckily???? That’s going a bit far!

Yes, this is a council matter - particularly the noise and the porn. Old fella needs an ASBO.

I grew up in a rural area. People living nearby others normally like having neighbours as it's very isolating being remote. Especially getting older.

Ask him round for a cuppa, make some nice cake/biscs ,have a chat. ‘How is he managing now he’s on his own’. ‘Does his family live near’.
This could backfire and he knocks on your door daily for a chat. But you can’t beat him in the noise competition so give befriending him a try.

If this fails find a big brawny bloke (not a local) and next time the tv is blaring send him round to batter on the door and ask the old codger if he wants his door kicked in next time -or similar threat.

Not being funny, but you have a daily excuse for gin now, where previously you were struggling to justify it. Every cloud has a silver lining.
He'll be dead soon, no one lives for ever and he's getting on.

playing porn top volume when he knows her DH is out, is creepy AF. And nasty.
Report

In my experience, rural living means living much closer socially and community wise to all sorts of neighbours, and you have to work hard at getting on with them. More so than being anonymous in a city.
It is one of the challenges but also one of the delights. Some of my neighbours are my best friends.

Not if he is watching porn and trying to share it with you. He's a creep!

Approach the council and ask for their procedures for noise complaints, then follow them to the letter.

This will, unfortunately, have the first step of contacting him directly to inform him that he's being a nuisance and asking him to be more considerate. Send him a letter, recorded delivery to you have proof of delivery.

It's very much not going to help, but he can't then complain he's being blindsided when the council get in touch.

If he owns his own home, realistically there's not much the council can or will do other than threaten and eventually fine him, but there is the chance that if he's already scared enough to run away when he sees you, he'll wind his neck in after a letter from the council.

Failing that, how old is old? There's every chance if he's particularly old, he's not going to be around for much longer...

I agree to get the soundproofing done anyway though. As PP have said, chances are even when he pops his clogs the next people could be a noisy family too, so it should be money well spent.

I imagine the old owners smashing things up and dumping them in the garden and setting fire to them probably did too.

OP, despite some initial clear up and renovation work, is a much better long term prospective neighbour than those that went before her!

Build the conservatory

Tv watching is normal noise.