Rural life has gone to pot

[Thefabulousfrench]

Hi all,

Ergh! Just ergh! Am I being unreasonable for wanting my elderly neighbour to turn his ridiculously loud TV down?
Back story, you might want a drink/snacks for this.

We moved to a semi rural village back in 2018, it's a semi detached bungalow and it was one step away from being unmortgageable it was horrendous, the gas fire was condemned, no hot water, the front garden was a burial plot to a 32 inch tv and rather than clear the place out before we moved in respectfully, the previous owners left broken glass everywhere and the fire ravaged remains of a 3 seater sofa in the back garden. However, we saw potential through the black glossed everything and vivid blood red walls, hey, we even tolerated the spiders that paced through, the size of field mice.

Well we got to work and 4 skips later (considering this was meant to be an EMPTY property) we started to gut the place and take it back to brick. Fast forward 6 months or so log burner in, rewire, new windows, walls down, patio doors in, new bathroom/kitchen, you get the gist, he starts...
Elderly neighbour, hmm maybe late 70's now, he first off decides that our log burner is dropping ash all over his garden furniture (it wasn't) the 2nd time he came around for the same thing, our fire wasn't even on and you could see the culprit over the roof tops, billowing out some mad coloured smoke with bits floating in the wind. He then comes around to tell us he has peas in his drain and it must be us, erm?
He peeks through the fence too to spy on our back garden, so we put a shed there. Ha.
Ok, so rural life, tick, quiet tick, neighbour weird but hey ho, then his wife died!
For the last 6 months he's literally got zero fucks about anything, he has his TV on full bloody blast from 7am to 11pm, he has all his drunken arsehole friends round watching football and they sit there 5 nights out of 7 clapping, cheering and whistling and doing this really weird kinda husky growl. Weird old fuckers!
He has the news on that loud I can hear it word for word, well I have tried being nice, I have tried turning our TV up loud to make a point, I've tried white noise, a dehumidifier and my poor alexa on max volume with some rather bopful clubland choons like haddaway and snap, but all of this was to no avail!
So now, most nights, I end up watching TV on my bed like a teenager in her room, and I'm livid, I own my house and I have the right to sit in my lounge in sodding peace.

Now the old fool knows he's in the wrong as when he sees me on the cul de sac he scurries into his house, he visits the neighbours on the other side of me and he'll loiter in her doorway until I go back in from the front garden before he leaves, weirdo. I do sometimes wait until he's half way across and then take a solitary item out to the bin to catch him out, but he scurries onwards.

I DID feel sorry for him, but not any more, I'm thinking of selling up, I have costed up some sound proofing, we're looking at around £1000, the walls that attach to him are just the lounge and kitchen, all other rooms don't touch, the other option is a conservatory, but why should I spend £££££ cos of his bad behaviour?

Now it gets worse.... PORN! The other day he waited until my other half left for work and he decided to blast porn, he knew I was home alone (woman, 40's, unhealthy gin addiction) all I could hear was moans and groans and oh yeah's (I recorded it and it's quite clear what it is) now I'm not a prude, but seriously yuk, and you could hear him groaning, ergh, ergh and shudder.

So do I
a) drink more gin
b) let everyone in the village know he's a perv
c) move
d) put a conservatory on and hopefully sit in peace
e) tell the council
f) something else
g) cast a spell
h) lose my shit fully

thanks for reading....

I cba with being reasonable and kind anymore, I'm not a bitch I'm actually really caring and kind, but fuck me he's pushing some buttons that send my rage meters through the roof. I also now work from home so that is NOT helping, I've gone from being a full time retail manager, who was out the house for 10+ hours a day to being in these 4 sodding walls all day, so yes, that's really not helping either.

I'm ranting, I need gin.

I moved, 23 years ago, to a “rural ideal” for 6 years. It was like that then. Over-nosey neighbours, with not enough to do.

I couldn’t wait to get back to a London suburb. 🙄

I'd spend the money on soundproofing.
It's £1000 but if it solves the problem, it will be £1000 well spent.

And I'd do that before I involved the council as well.

Am I the only one who doesn’t know what a ‘semi-rural village’ is?

And, OP, in the nicest possible way, did you really think that buying a near-unmortgageable bungalow painted black gloss and blood red, with burnt-out furniture in the garden, no hot water and a condemned gas fire was likely to mean (a) the vendors were going to clean everything up and leave you a bottle of champagne before they left (b) that you were moving into a Joanna Trollope Aga saga full of birdsong and scones or (c) that your next door neighbour was any less likely to be a noisy tv watcher and porn consumer than in London?

Report the old fucker to the council for noise nuisance.

agree, it is luck of the draw and the most distressing thing is the impact that horrible neighbours have on your quality of life. I was always sympathetic towards people with neighbours from hell but until i had some myself I truly did not understand the ongoing and often daily stress they can cause

'Just' move?
As in, one of the most stressful life experiences?
Just because the neighbour's being an arse?

Sod that for a game of soldiers.

We have awful neighbours and we're central London.

But I may well start playing porn in the day now! Brilliant. Way more aggressive than women's hour.

Agree with this … but add sex harassment with the porn. Be clear that he does this after your male partner leaves.

He needs a visit from council officer.

(we had situation with a vulnerable relative, he has carers, some of whom are … not white. The old creep neighbor went mental shouting and making his dogs aggressive when he saw the not white carers, every few days. This was so sad. I spoke to council and they sent a person to talk to him. The problems have stopped. )

I lived rural once and hated it i lasted 9 and half months i moved back to a small town.
Hated the nosey people every 8 out of 10 times i went for a walk i got shouted at GET OF MY LAND i was not on privet land by the way once got called an urban bitch.

The reporting him only works if the OP isn’t planning to move any time soon though.

I agree with @DazzlingCuckoos approach and also her comments regarding renovations. It is hell to live next to renovations. I have done it but it is a finite timescale for the noise and disruption and hopefully improves properties and neighbourhoods. It’s also not a reasonable excuse for any sort of retaliation.

Start with A, moving on to E if you love where you live and want to stay, which i guess you do but how much renovation work you've done.
Sorry OP, sounds shit. Lots of gin

This, I know it's not the point of the thread but I've never heard of this description of the countryside before i started reading this site. It's really twee and annoying

How did you tune it in to their TV?

First decide seriously if moving is the solution, before creating a paper trail of 'neighbour disputes' which you'd have to declare to potential buyers.

If you're staying, I'd address the soundproofing but also the more sinister porn-watching while your husband is out - I'd find a way for DH to return unnoticed to witness it.

You say you CBA to be kind and reasonable any more. What reasonable steps have you taken so far?

It dosent sound very rural to me. You live in a cul de sac. Expect to have neighbours . We live in the middle of a field in rural Ireland. Can still hear my dmil's TV in the next field. No cul de sacs near us. Live near people, expect their noise.

I think u sound an arse

If it's that bad she's considering moving, it'd be silly to get the council involved cos you have to declare neighbour disputes, don't you?

The man's just lost his wife and has had at least six months of renovation noise from OP.

Did you ever speak to them about the inconvenience and noise you inflicted on them or make efforts to get on good terms?

I think of all the ideas, this has the most merit and the most likely to make him change his ways.

Don't make a formal report. That will bit you square on the butt.

Find a more subtle way.

He and his (terminally ill) wife probably quite enjoyed the quieter rural life before you came Down From London and tore the place apart for six months.