Party, child with visible difference

[donttake]

Was 8 year olds birthday party on Saturday,
Some school friends, some out of school friends and some family were invited. First time doing a mixed party like that and the different groups kind of kept together so Dd was a bit pulled around but otherwise everything went great .

One of DD’s cousins who was at the party has a significant facial difference, purely physical and had no effect of their behaviour or abilities. I’ve had a message from a school friends mother saying thank-you for the party, dc had a great time etc but that she would have appreciated a heads up about dd’s cousin. That her dc were scared and upset and she doesn’t know how to deal with it so could I give advice.

I’m not being being unreasonable to think that’s outrageous, am I?

I have no idea what to reply

I'm still in shock about this @donttake it's unbelievable.

I'm seconding others in saying please use @MissScarletInTheBallroom 's text suggestion it is absolutely brilliant.

This one:-

I think I'd reply along the lines of, "Difficult not to take offence when you seemed to be implying that my niece is so ugly that her family should put out some sort of public health warning every time she leaves the house. I don't think we're ever going to be on the same page about that. I suggest you teach your children about people with visible differences and then next time they meet someone like my niece they won't be so upset."and

She should be called out on this and her second message to you is even more infuriating. She's trying to make out you're being unreasonable for not replying to her!!!

Send what miss scarlet suggested and reduce contact with her as much as possible. She's vile.

My daughter was born with a visible difference and this post has made me feel incredibly sad. It's the realisation of the fears you carry as a parent often from as early as the 20 week scan.

I worry constantly that my daughter will encounter someone as singularly repulsive as that woman from your party and smash the confidence that we have spent so long building in her. I am absolutely appalled at what she said and it breaks my heart for your DC's cousin who I am sure is a total badass. I did once tell an unkind person that there might be surgeries to help my daughter but there's sadly no surgery that would fix their stupidity.

As far as I can see, you've not yet replied to her but if or when you do, just know that you'll be doing it for all of us who hope against hope that the world will be kind to our beautiful babies 💛

Please take heart from the many posters who have been horrified and disgusted by this woman’s ignorance.

I know what you mean about that 20 week scan…

Some people will always show themselves up. Support your child to know that those are the people with views not worth considering.

I think that’s what disturbed me the most too - l can’t get my head around someone being so clueless as to be unaware of the obvious offence they would cause.

PrincipalKraft
Try not to worry, most children are wonderful, if a child does comment, answer cheerfully, my DS has Noonan's he has a very large facial birthmark too, I won't lie, it has happened twice, once an inquisitive little girl, her face was scrunched in disgust "what is that on his face" I answered her, her father was mortified.
Second time was an older child being malicious, I went to his parents, they were lovely.