Neighbour asking for money

[Redbird3]

It all started a few months ago. Next door neighbour messaged me on Facebook and asked if I could bank transfer her £10 and she would knock on with the cash. I get on with her so I said yes.

Ever since it’s got to the point that she is asking every day. If not every day then every other day. I have started to say no as I do feel like she is taking advantage. When I don’t reply she then messages DH. There’s been times where DH has transferred her money on the promise that she’ll come round with it asap but it’s been next day.

Last night around midnight she messaged me asking for £20. I was just getting in bed so I didn’t reply. She messaged again around 12:20 as I was dropping off to sleep which woke me up. Then around 12:30 she called me on Facebook.

I think it’s getting a joke now but DH disagrees and doesn’t see the problem. A couple of nights ago she messaged DH, he sent her £10, then she messaged again for £20 which he sent her, then again 10 minutes later asking for another £10!

AIBU in thinking this is just pure cheek?

You mugs!

Stoppit

‘He might have to?’
wTF is he on about? Ask him to explain exactly what he means. And tell him you do not want the joint account to be used for his dodgy desire to ‘help’.

I reckon it’s for online gambling.

But her only having cash and no money in her account suggests drug dealing.

Snd if she’s ever investigated you and your DH become her top customers and will be dragged through shit.

Is it worth it?

Separate your finances from your DH. Protect yourself.

I also think he’s slept with her, btw. She has a hold over him somehow.

She’s got something over your husband.

You're not at all unreasonable, even though she does pay you back quickly.

It's quite a weird thing to ask of someone. Once maybe but so frequently? Ridiculous.

Do you know why? She obviously has the cash.

However, not your problem, just ignore her calls.

Sex work.

To spend it on online gambling would be my guess.

This could very well be money laundering. Talk to your other neighbours and see if she's approached them too. It could also be gambling.

Otherwise, you need to give your H a very stern talking to, and you need to block this woman on your phone and all SM.

Just message her and say:

"sorry Jane in future we won't be able to transfer money to you as we are renewing our joint mortgage and need clean bank statements as they get examined and it doesn't look good to have all these payments going out of our accounts to you at all hours, the bank will think you're a drug dealer and we are buying from you (tinkly laugh) so we won't be able to help any more sorry".

Show DH what you've said and tell him that it does look like we are buying from her so if the police catch her dealing, which they will, we will be implicated.
Nobody will believe the truth.
We need to stop as it's going to get us jailed. That's your 'good neighbour' for you. You need to stick to this script.

She is def being cheeky, I wouldn’t be giving her anything after the first time.
Assuming she is n adult, she needs to learn how to manage her money.
Problem is the DH doesn’t agree and is responding to her requests!

"I've just discovered you can pay cash into your bank account at a Post Office. We don't really use much cash, so in the future could you do that, please."

I presume she's getting cash-in-hand for something, but wants to spend online.

Sounds like money for crack maybe?

Because of the small amounts, and wanting more pretty much straight away.

....Bollocks maybe
Bollocks definitely!!!

Is she repaying it promptly?
If not, then YANBU
If so ... then possibly YABU
Although late night calls and texts are her being unreasonable

So sorry I don't have time to read all the responses so apologies if I'm the 100th person to say this but it sounds to me like she's selling weed in small amounts for cash then laundering it via your bank account. You'd possibly be legally implicated if it came to light.

Yep.

If my DH was giving a neighbour money (not that he would), he would 100% stop if I wanted him to. The fact that he knows it upsets you but wants to do it anyway tells me one of the following. Maybe multiple:

1. he’s involved in her shit
2. he sleeps with her
3. he doesn’t respect you
4. he owes her money

Also this!

It never fails to amaze me how naive / gullible some people are on here. Why would you even get into this kind of arrangement? Your husband sounds as dodgy as fuck too.

So your husband can’t say no to her but can to you.

I would be demanding to see their messages

Message before blocking her.

I am unable to lend money to you again, please do not ask.

Defo gambling or drugs. Tell husband that by accommodating her he’s helping fuel a bad habit.

For fucks sake how is this even happening. You really are a pair of mugs. Good luck explaining you are buying drugs from this dealer when the police turn up because this is exactly what it looks like.

He knows whats going on....👃

I suspect she’s getting the cash through something criminal and essentially using you to launder it for her in small amounts. If she’s getting cash every day from selling weed or something, it’s not like she can hand over £20 cash to (eg) pay for her broadband that goes by direct debit.

Tell her your bank have started querying the transactions as suspicious. And tell your DH to stop being such a naive pushover.

I don't want to sound harsh but your DH sounds utterly spineless.

By allowing this woman to walk all over you you've given the impression that you will always give her what she wants and that you will pander to her requests at any time of day or night.

FFS learn to say no, and stick to it!