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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour asking for money

427 replies

Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 16:08

It all started a few months ago. Next door neighbour messaged me on Facebook and asked if I could bank transfer her £10 and she would knock on with the cash. I get on with her so I said yes.

Ever since it’s got to the point that she is asking every day. If not every day then every other day. I have started to say no as I do feel like she is taking advantage. When I don’t reply she then messages DH. There’s been times where DH has transferred her money on the promise that she’ll come round with it asap but it’s been next day.

Last night around midnight she messaged me asking for £20. I was just getting in bed so I didn’t reply. She messaged again around 12:20 as I was dropping off to sleep which woke me up. Then around 12:30 she called me on Facebook.

I think it’s getting a joke now but DH disagrees and doesn’t see the problem. A couple of nights ago she messaged DH, he sent her £10, then she messaged again for £20 which he sent her, then again 10 minutes later asking for another £10!

AIBU in thinking this is just pure cheek?

OP posts:
BoldAmberDuck · 23/02/2025 18:02

Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 16:15

There was once when she should have posted £20 but there was only £10. I was really angry but DH brushed it of as he’s too nice IMO! She said she could have dropped it on the path or something🧐

She smokes weed a lot as I can always smell it😡 so I’m not sure if it’s something to do with that

It’s going to be drug dealers. She’s probably dealing herself. Have u noticed lots of visitors or people coming and going?

Wonderi · 23/02/2025 18:02

Her not giving him the money back or taking a day to repay it is literally the least of your problems.

I would never involve myself in something like this.

Why be part of a the criminal activity without any of the benefits.

She’s using you both and DH is embarrassing himself by rolling over for her.

Justlurking101 · 23/02/2025 18:03

Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 17:59

He’s just said he won’t be sending it her as often but sometimes he might have to? wtf

Why might be have to?! How well do you know this neighbour? You or your partner ever been to hers on a social visit? Does she have a partner or kids?

JustMyView13 · 23/02/2025 18:04

Justlurking101 · 23/02/2025 18:03

Why might be have to?! How well do you know this neighbour? You or your partner ever been to hers on a social visit? Does she have a partner or kids?

Show quote history

She must be his supplier. No other explanation.

MsVi · 23/02/2025 18:05

So does she pay the money back? Not that that is the point. Your husband needs to back you up. You aren't the local bank.

candlerhyme · 23/02/2025 18:06

Your DH is complicit, somehow.

Redfred00 · 23/02/2025 18:07

Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 17:59

He’s just said he won’t be sending it her as often but sometimes he might have to? wtf

He's either sleeping with her, wants to sleep with her or is smoking with her.

Why does he have to give her money? What does he owe her? What has she got over him?

Could it be an ego thing? Does he want be Mr Big bollocks who rescues her?

Bluesandwhites · 23/02/2025 18:07

@isthesolution

OP, page 5, have you read this poster's advice? She is spot on, the bank would question this if it was flagged up. Maybe have a discreet word at your bank branch, and hopefully they will ask your DH to come in, so he can believe the bank if he will not take your concerns seriously.

candlerhyme · 23/02/2025 18:07

She's got something on him.

Jc2001 · 23/02/2025 18:08

Wonderi · 23/02/2025 18:02

Her not giving him the money back or taking a day to repay it is literally the least of your problems.

I would never involve myself in something like this.

Why be part of a the criminal activity without any of the benefits.

She’s using you both and DH is embarrassing himself by rolling over for her.

This is a good point, you may find you're having to explain to police why you've regularly transferring money to the account of a drug dealer.

AviationGeek · 23/02/2025 18:08

BigSilly · 23/02/2025 17:20

Sounds like she works a cash in hand job but needs money for online stuff - does she have a prepayment meter?

Or cash for a hand job......

TealSqueal · 23/02/2025 18:09

Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 17:59

He’s just said he won’t be sending it her as often but sometimes he might have to? wtf

Aren't you pushing him for answers?? Why is he being so obtuse??

BoldAmberDuck · 23/02/2025 18:09

Moonnstars · 23/02/2025 18:01

This sounds really dodgy. She is asking for money (generally at night) and then gives you cash back the next day. What is she doing that requires money in the bank if she is able to get her hands on cash that quickly.

I agree with the poster who suggests you say you can't do it as the bank has noticed unusual transactions.

Does she live in Suffolk by any chance?

Bluesandwhites · 23/02/2025 18:09

@Redbird3
Sorry it was page 5 of this thread.

catin8oots · 23/02/2025 18:10

She's a drug addict

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 23/02/2025 18:13

Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 17:59

He’s just said he won’t be sending it her as often but sometimes he might have to? wtf

Why would he "have" to?!
Is he being blackmailed or something?!
All this is just so weird.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 23/02/2025 18:15

@Redbird3 she is starting a paper trail with her money!! remember, all cash and drugs can be seized initially if the police raid her home. what is happening is that the money in the bank account becomes more legal. the less cash she has in her home or on her person the better for her!

Original poster
Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 18:15

I’ve tried to speak to him about it but I’m not gettingf anywhere. Anytime I point something out to him he just shrugs his shoulders. I asked why he’s so quick to send her money and he says it’s just because he wants to be a good neighbour. Bollocks maybe

OP posts:
MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 23/02/2025 18:18

Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 18:15

I’ve tried to speak to him about it but I’m not gettingf anywhere. Anytime I point something out to him he just shrugs his shoulders. I asked why he’s so quick to send her money and he says it’s just because he wants to be a good neighbour. Bollocks maybe

Bollocks maybe?!
Erm, it IS bollocks.
He's making it seem he's either doing something dodgy, either sleeping with her, or involved in drugs or something with her.
Either that or he's thick as pig shit.

lifeonmars100 · 23/02/2025 18:19

drugs or online gambling is my guess.

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 23/02/2025 18:19

I also wouldn't have anything to do with this.
Is it a joint account?

AviationGeek · 23/02/2025 18:19

Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 17:59

He’s just said he won’t be sending it her as often but sometimes he might have to? wtf

He might have to? You need to find out why your husband has to give another woman money.

funkylittleboatrace · 23/02/2025 18:20

What has she got on him?

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 23/02/2025 18:20

It looks like low level money laundering to me. Your husband is either an idiot or he's colluding with her.

Wilfrida1 · 23/02/2025 18:21

You asked him why. He said ‘because she asked for it.’ So now you say ‘well I am asking you not to, and as your wife I would hope my wishes take priority over a neighbour’s.’